photos, general update, and siblings revisited

The photo shoot at Target went great on Friday!! I intended to only get a photo of the three kids together and then one or two of Tommy to commemorate his 3rd birthday. My logic was that Kate and Henry get school pictures taken, so I didn't need to get more taken.

Of course I was wrong, because these were much better than what gets snapped at school!

I had "warned" the photographer ahead of time about Henry: we've been burned before by photographers who wanted to do lots of different poses and props. Henry will usually only tolerate one or two snaps, and you'd better hope that you got something usable!

He is getting older, however, and this photographer was more calm than some we've seen, so she was able to get quite a few photos.

So finally I can check something off my to-do list that's been there since Christmastime!

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The rest of our spring break weekend was nice. The whole family (yes, even the teenager) enjoyed a picnic at the park on Sunday.

Both boys have been doing a super job of helping with the new chores (taking out the trash, putting away clothes, cleaning up). I kind of feel like a dunce to not have done this sooner, but oh well. I am learning to work through (i.e. ignore) Henry's protests and am finding that he'll do all sorts of things if I just make him do them (through persistence, not physical force)!

He has always argued about everything, but now has added SHOUTING to his repertoire. It sometimes makes us smirk because it is quite an over-reaction. If I were more technologically savvy I would record him so you could hear it... At any rate, we feel that while I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE A BATH (along with a foot-stomp for emphasis) is not the response we would like him to give us, it is a developmentally appropriate way to try to assert his independence and is ok from that standpoint. And despite his shouts, he usually proceeds to take off his clothes for the bath anyway.

The other night I found the bathroom stool in Henry's closet. He was trying to reach something on a high shelf (some Disney magazines). I was astounded. This is the first time he's ever shown initiative like that. I guess he just needs the proper motivation (thank you Walt Disney.)

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I left a comment over at Christine's site the other day that I wanted to expand upon a little. It said, in part:

Sometimes I suggest to Tommy that he could play with Henry, and Tommy says "well, Henry doesn't really like to play." And that breaks my heart- for both of them.

But one day last week Henry went along to the sitter with Tommy. When I picked them up, Tommy said (unprompted) "Henry was a little bit nervous today." And this whole new avenue opened up in front of me- one where the little brother could be a voice and a guardian for the big brother. Very comforting.

It is intriguing to me to watch my sons' relationship develop. I have worried about it in the past, but am starting to feel more comfortable. When Tommy was still a baby and Henry was newly diagnosed as autistic, I worried that they would not have much of a relationship at all. But that was silly.
While neither boy is the other's ideal playmate, and they may never play together the way I remember my brothers doing, I do feel that they are forging a lifelong relationship.

Although they were born nearly 4.5 years apart, anyone who didn't know better would assume that Henry and Thomas are quite closer in age. His small size and developmental delays make Henry seem a few years younger than he is.

Some of his interests (Power Rangers, superheroes, Playhouse Disney tv programs, Disney movies) that are a little immature for most 7-year-olds work nicely with Tommy's interests in the same subjects. And, maybe because they've always shared a room, they are both good about sharing toys, books, etc. Well, they're not always good about sharing, but don't seem to have a concept of this is mine- not yours and I hope it stays that way for awhile.

I mentioned when writing about Henry's IEP that both boys are working on zipping zippers. When we visited the zoo and the conservatory recently, they both looked for stone walls, railroad ties, and concrete blocks to walk along, practicing their new balancing skills.

One new development that has surprised me a little is this: Thomas has taken to reprimanding his big brother. For example, he'll say "Henry, you're getting all messy from picking apart your doughnut. Watch me, I take bites." Again, this makes Bill and I smirk, but we quickly tell Tommy "we'll worry about Henry. It's not your job to tell him what to do." I knew the day would come when Tommy would realize he was "more able" than Henry, but I guess I didn't expect it to come at age 3!

I used to worry about how I would tell Tommy about Henry's autism; how I would explain a disability without making Henry seem inferior. But it seems like Thomas is figuring it out for himself. I hope he will grow to be an advocate for and ally to his brother. What a blessing.

middle of the night ramble

I'm not a person who does this- wakes up in the middle of the night and gets on the computer. The last time I can remember not being able to sleep (not counting when baby Thomas was involved) was the year "our" football team was playing for the national championship. (The school I graduated from and now work for.) We were having a party that night and I was excited/nervous- I got up and started cooking and cleaning.

My body and mind are out of whack this week. It's spring break for Henry and Kate. Henry went along with Thomas to the sitter Monday and Tuesday and I planned to take Thursday and Friday off. Wednesday morning I woke up with the tummy bug that has been through the rest of the family. Kate was able to take care of Henry as we had planned, and I asked Bill to come home from work to take Tommy to the sitter's. Then I went back to bed from 9 am to 1 pm. It was one of those days where it felt nice to sleep so much, but then my back started hurting from laying around for hours on end. But I still wanted to sleep more...

Then yesterday I felt better. But I felt hungry. I have been eating a lot better lately and exercising about 3 times a week. Yesterday all of that went out the window. I ate a lot of stuff that I haven't eaten for awhile, and I wonder if that is why my body has me up at 3 am. I don't feel sick exactly, but I just don't feel right.

I also started worrying about my little mental to-do list: we need to replace the gutters, shop for a new(used) car, figure out why the dryer stopped working again... Of course, I can't do any of those things right now, can I?

I had a nice day with the boys yesterday. We took lunch to daddy at work and then went to see the butterfly exhibit at the conservatory (right in line with Henry's recent homework project.) We got there just as they were doing a "release" of butterflies that had recently emerged. I thought that would be good timing, but it was not. There were too many people (including gangs of school kids on field trips) and a person talking loudly on a poor soundsystem so she sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher.

We tried to stop and watch and listen, but Henry got agitated and said "let's keep moving!" So we did. We made the obligatory stop in the gift shop (Henry got a spiders sticker book and Tommy got a bouncy ball. I got a half-price shamrock plant) and then went through the whole place again. The second time through was not as crowded and we stopped to look a little more.

They have indoor rooms representing 4 different regions. Each one has paths and bridges and waterfalls that are lots of fun for little boys. (Yes, of course Tommy is wearing his cut-off Batman pajamas. This is the 3rd day straight for those.)

Our second time through the butterfly room was MUCH more satisfying. It was not as crowded, and the sun had come out so the butterflies were more active. Everywhere you turned, there was another one!

Henry was mildly interested in the butterflies, but really got more excited about the running water:

(Actually, I just noticed that in that picture Tommy is LAYING DOWN looking over the edge of the bridge. Real safe time for me to take a picture, eh?)

The boys also enjoyed making wishes in this fountain at the end of our visit.

I am so grateful that we are at this stage- where we can visit places and it is truly enjoyable for everyone. We each might have a different agenda, but (knock on wood) most of the time it manages to come together.

Oh, one other cool thing- I'm so disappointed that my camera died before I could capture a picture, but we stopped in the education room before we left. They had hands-on kid butterfly activities, like you could look through "butterfly eyes" to see what their vision is like, and try to place butterfly magnets on a scene so that they would be hidden from predators. They also had these butterfly wings a child could strap on. Thomas did it (of course) and then I was very surprised that Henry did it too! He pretended to fly around and left them on for quite awhile. He is showing more interest in pretending lately. He is learning some things from his little brother, I think. There is a post on that rattling around in my brain, but it needs more thought.

Thanks for keeping me company, internet. Maybe I will drink a cup of tea and try to go back to sleep. Tomorrow morning (or this morning, I guess) we are attempting a photo of the kids at the Target photo studio, so I need to be rested!

homework project

The homework assignments this year have been sporadic. He'll have some worksheets once in awhile, or a "baggie book" to read and then a worksheet to go with it. But especially since all the snow days, we haven't had much homework.

Last week, however, we had a PROJECT. The STACK class has been learning about bugs. They visited the downtown library for this month's community trip, and each boy found a book about a particular bug. Henry's was butterflies. (I'm not sure if he picked butterflies to be his bug, or if it was just assigned to him.)

This homework gave me a crash course in what his teachers mean when they say "Henry will verbally refuse 70% of the time" about just about everything they ask him to do.

We were to create a poster about our bug. It was to include the name of the bug, 3 facts about the bug, and drawings or pictures of the bug. We had a week to complete the project, so I mentally divided the assignment into what I thought were workable segments.

At Target last weekend I bought some letter stickers from the scrapbook section. Knowing that writing is not Henry's favorite task, I thought the stickers would be a fun way to label items on the poster.

Monday night we used the stickers to write "Butterflies" at the top and "Henry" at the bottom of the large piece of paper. Then we started looking through the library book to find some facts and pictures for the poster.

Henry (in a breathless, panicked tone): "I do not want to read this book I do not want to find any facts I do not want to look at the pictures I do not want to read this book..." stops to calmly say "This picture" (pointing). And then resumes: "I do not want to find any facts..."

He indicated 2 photos in the book that he liked. The next day I made color copies of those and we glued them smack in the middle of the poster. That was the extent of the work on Tuesday night.

We took Wednesday night off because Henry was vomiting.

Thursday night we had to finish the poster. This is when he really let me have it. I mean he had real tears falling out of his eyes. "We don't have to do three facts I don't want to do three facts I don't want any facts There are not any facts..."

He had those tears pouring out of his eyes and his nose was running all over the place. And he was screaming at me.

"Is this how you act for your teachers at school?" I asked, trying to exaggerate with my facial expression how shocked I was. He didn't answer the question, but seemed to stop and think for a moment.

I hand wrote the first fact: Butterflies eat ________. Then I handed him the first letter sticker. All he had to do was put the stickers on the paper to finish the sentence, and I wasn't even asking him how to spell the word. I just wanted to get it over with.

"They eat nothing Butterflies eat nothing They do not eat nectar!"

I was sure that the stickers would not even stick because he had so many facial fluids all over his fingers.

Then, a brief pause as he looked at the "n" sticker. He turned it upside-down and said "It is not an 'n' it is a 'u' Butterflies eat uctar!" I found this pretty clever. Although he seemed near-hysterical to me, he was actually clear-headed enough to play a little game with the sticker.

And then we plunged ahead. "We will not do another fact Just one fact We will have just one fact Not three facts..."
Fact #2: Butterfly _____ (wings) are made of _____ (scales)

"Just two facts Not three facts We will just have two facts..."
At one point I said (trying to use a soothing voice) "Why are you getting so upset? I'm right here with you, and I'm helping you."
He really latched on to that for whatever reason and kept repeating "I'm right here with you."

Fact #3: First, a butterfly is a ________ (caterpillar) (This was the briefest way possible I could think of to mention the butterfly's life cycle.)

Finally we were finished with the &%$@#*! poster. I gave him a good squeeze and he calmed down a little. Then I said "let's read over your poster." He hopped right up, stood arrow-straight, and recited:

Butterflies
Butterflies eat nectar
Butterfly wings are made of scales
First, a butterfly is a caterpillar

As if he was so proud. As if he had not spent the past half hour crying and arguing and begging NOT to work on this poster.

His teacher said he also enjoyed showing it to his class the next day.
Why do we have to go through this routine? How much longer will this go on? Why is he so intimidated by schoolwork? Was is he so afraid? Why is his first response to everything a panicked "please God no- whatever you do don't make me do this work!"? And then after it's done "oh, look what I made. I'm so proud of it. That was fun."

lots to say today, most of it good

What a lovely weekend we had. I wish I could bottle the feeling of the sunshine and being with my sons and save it for a rainy frustrating day.

Saturday morning Henry and I went to Target for the Peter Pan DVD (he did have a very good day on Friday, thank God.) I also picked up materials for future sticker charts and I found a dry-erase "chore chart" upon which to track the boys' new chores. So far we have feed the turtles, take out the trash and recycling, put away clothes, clean up, and homework, and they have earned quite a few stars already.

Sunday the weather was finally nice enough to go to the ZOO!


We needed to wait in the "member services" line to activate our new membership and, unfortunately, so did many other families. It took us about half an hour to get in to the zoo. But my sons were so patient and so good for the whole wait. I was really proud.
That's why, when Henry asked right away to go to the gift shop, I said "ok". He specifically said he wanted to go to the gift shop to get a zoobook. He ended up finding 3 that he wanted (Big Cats, Wolves, and Lions) and I was an indulgent mom and let him get all 3.
True to his personality, Thomas picked out a white tiger mask at the gift shop. He wore it the entire day and it was a lot of fun to see all the curious looks he got from other kids, and all the smiles from grownups.
It won't surprise you to know that Henry was not interested in riding the carousel with his brother.

But I was so pleased with his plan for what he would do while we were on the ride: I'll just wait in the chairs, he said. (His Zoobooks are in his hand.)

When we left the zoo, I told them both that I had such a wonderful time and I was so proud of how patient they had been and what good listeners they were...

"When was I a good listener?" Henry asked. That made me laugh a little, because I didn't exactly want to point out all the times I thought he was going to get mad, but didn't.

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Today was the IEP meeting. It was held in the same conference room where we had our first disability-type meeting (wow- that was 4 years ago!) Anyway, it was a strange feeling to be back in that room, but a good feeling considering how far we have all come and how much more we know now than we did then.

One great thing about the meeting was that the "regular" 1st-grade teacher came in to talk with us. We've never met her before and she seemed like a very good fit for Henry. She said that she is a very structured person, and runs her classroom that way, and that Henry has seemed to respond to that. He is spending more and more time in her class and she sees him making progress as far as his participation in things like circle time (instead of covering his ears, he now occasionally joins in the singing and hand motions!)

As handwriting is the activity he is most adverse too, they are going to look into some computer programs available to modify his writing assignments. Right now he is equally opposed to writing on the computer and writing by hand- writing is writing and he doesn't like either! But perhaps if the work of writing is made easier, his sentences will get longer, etc.

When we talked last week, his teacher (Mrs. C) told me that she is hoping to catch one of his "tantrums" on videotape to share with her supervisor. Mrs. C says that whenever she tries to get ideas from others about dealing with this behavior, they all act like they don't believe her: "sweet Henry doesn't kick and yell and lay on the floor! I can't believe it- he's always so sweet." She's thinking "yeah, he's sweet MOST of the time..."

After the meeting I caught up with Henry as he finished lunch and then we went out to the playground. I wish I could have stayed all day!

My favorite quote for today: "Please protect me from my own feebleness." (You can read the whole post here.) I too was floundering with my child's logic first thing this morning.

Henry woke up early with a stuffy/runny nose that was all over his face and pillow. A new phrase he uses lately is "I was scared. I didn't know where you were." As usual, I don't know whether to take this statement at face value. Was he really scared? Or has he just picked up that this is something children say when they wake in the night? I hunkered down in bed with him and once he warmed up he fell back asleep for awhile longer.

When it was time to wake up for real, he was grumpy. As he often does, he first thought about what day it is. "It's March 9th. Peter Pan the special edition comes out today."

Now, last weekend, when he sat so still for me to cut his hair, and helped clean up his room, and shared with his brother, I had mused out loud: "you are doing a lot of good stuff lately. We should get a sticker chart and you could get a sticker each time you help me or are a good listener. And when you have it all filled up, you could earn a reward."

I added "sticker chart for H" to my shopping/to-do list. (I really did- I'll take a picture if you don't believe me.) But never bought or made the chart. So this morning I said (I really need to stop doing all this thinking out loud) "oh, I never made a sticker chart, did I?"

Henry started getting really agitated about the DVD. "I want to get it. I earned enough stickers. I earned enough stickers. I earned enough stickers. I did earn enough stickers."

So I feebly responded: "if you have a good day at school today and are a good listener, we'll go tomorrow and get the DVD." I'm angry with myself about this response because it puts a lot of pressure on him to be good today, and he doesn't usually respond well to that. I'd much rather be able to reward him for cumulative good behavior throughout a week than give him an unrealistic and unclear expectation of "be good today". And what do I do if he doesn't have a good day? Then I'm really screwed because he will talk about the DVD all weekend and I'll have to come up with another way to earn it. I mean, sometimes I buy him something just because. But now I have set up this expectation...

We continue to live and learn. I will just try to be better prepared next time. Please protect me from my own feebleness.

Thanks for your comments about the IEP. For the most part I feel that his teachers have come up with thoughtful and useful goals to work on. Kristin is right about the zipping/buttoning goal: I'm sure the purpose of this one is to make the teachers' lives easier. That's the same reason Tommy's caregiver is working on zipping his coat- because she needs those 5 kids to get themselves ready to go outside. (And so it is that my 7 and 3-year-olds are working on the same skill.)

Now the eating goal-this is a sticky issue (literally- ha ha). It really goes to the heart of one of the many autism debates, doesn't it? This is one thing that Henry has been able to verbalize: “I like to eat my food with my hands, I like to break it into bites.” I just hate forcing him to take bites. One side of me feels that it serves a sensory need and it’s cruel to force him to change…

But then there’s the other side- I don’t want the other kids to make fun of him, or for him to never be able to go to a restaurant when he gets older…

So they’ll probably work on it at school and I’ll undermine them by letting him continue to use his hands at home!

I wonder how much luck the teachers will have, though. Wednesday Henry bought lunch (he just bought lunch for the first time last week) and it was pizza day. I wrote to the teachers that this might be a good time to try working on bites, because Henry, like Kristin, eats the toppings off first, with his hands.

The notebook that night said "Henry refused to eat his pizza. So we were unable to work on taking bites." So that's how this is going to go. Stubborn Henry will just refuse to eat.

I did catch him taking bites of a chips ahoy cookie last night (unprompted). Those are too hard to pick apart. So maybe that's the secret. Tough food and tough love.

iep progress

Yesterday Henry's teacher sent home a rough draft of his IEP. Why, after all these years, do I feel a pang of hurt when I read these? It's a knee-jerk defensive reaction to the fact that someone is criticizing my son. It's so silly, really, because these people are there to help my son and they have to write stuff this way to make it fit in their system. I know that, but it still makes me a little sad- just a little.

Anyway, here are some of the highlights, for those who are interested:

1. a. need: Henry completes class work independently 40% of the time. When asked to leave computer, puzzles and leisure area, Henry will verbally refuse 70% of the time. When a classroom rule is broken, Henry will follow classroom consequences 30% of the time with prompts.
b. goal: Henry will follow classroom rules, quietly transition from preferred activities, and follow written and verbal directions.

2. a. need: Henry will refuse writing assignments 90% of the time. Currently he will write one 3-4 word sentence with prompting for each word. He also requires prompt to create the sentence.
b. goal: Henry will increase number of words written and use sentences to express his own ideas.

3. a. need: During free time and recess, Henry chooses not to interact with peers. He will read, play the computer or puzzles 100% of the time. He will initiate playing tag during playground time.
b. goal: Henry will learn new leisure activities to participate in during free time or recess.

4. a. need: Henry needs physical and verbal help to open a juice box and food container. Henry picks apart his food in small pieces to eat. Henry needs prompts to wipe mouth and clean up area each time he eats.*
b. goal: Henry will eat food appropriately and open food items independently 90% of time.

5. a. need: Henry frequently asks for help, but needs to develop effective fine motor skills that will increase his independence in activities of daily living at school.
b. goal: Upon request, Henry will independently perform self-care tasks at school. (squeeze glue, fold paper, close snaps, fasten buttons, zip zippers)

6. a. need: Henry demonstrates an immature throwing pattern. Henry requires an adult hand when on the low balance beam and needs to walk in a typical gait, instead of a shuffle with one foot following the other.*
b. goal: Henry will demonstrate a mature pattern when walking on the balance beam and overhand throwing a ball.

And then 3 speech-language pathologist goals:
1. Henry needs to articulate the "r" sound clearly in order to get his message across to listeners accurately. Henry currently substitutes "w" for "r" in all positions in words.

2. After completing a task, Henry needs to improve his ability to answer questions about the activity, including those related to sequential concepts. Currently, Henry is able to sequence 3-4 picture cards and answer questions about the picture sequence. He continues to have difficulty sequencing real events in the classroom and reporting the sequence once the activity is complete and he has moved on.

3. Henry needs to discuss and answer questions about stories he reads and stories read aloud to the class. Henry currently answers simple "wh" questions about stories of high interest but demonstrates inconsistencies in his ability to answer questions about stories, especially those read aloud during group times.

*These ones in particular made me feel a little sad. I think because the way he eats and the way he moves are so much a part of what is Henry. Even though I know they are not the right way to do things, I don't like to think that they are wrong, either.

My mom sent this to me yesterday, and I thought that someday I should share it with my blogging friends.

Today I visited one friend and then another who were both feeling kind of low, and decided I should hurry up and post it.

The sun is shining here today- I hope it will lift everyone's spirits!

moving on, always moving on

My 3-year-old always seems to be dragging me into his future. When I want him to still be watching Teletubbies, he's watching the Power Rangers. When I want him to hold my hand, he wants to do it himself.

It has never been so with Henry. He's always been happy with the status quo and usually been reluctant to try something new. That, combined with his developmental delays, has made me shield my eyes from the future in many respects. I don't know when he'll learn to ride a bike, for example, and (this is a secret) I don't really care that much. I'll keep on reading him books forever if he wants...

Except, wait, all of a sudden he knows how to read!

For much of preschool and kindergarten, I was just trying NOT to think about "what if he gets kicked out of this class for being aggressive". I couldn't afford to think much about what the next 13 years of school would bring.

It kind of feels like I've been holding my breath for a looooooong time. And now, suprisingly, I'm breathing a little more again. The past couple weeks these strange thoughts have popped into my head- like I should teach Henry how to answer the phone. Or maybe we'll get him a cell phone when he's a little older for if he's at home by himself. Or I should give Henry some chores to do and an allowance so that he can learn about money and buy himself a new dvd or book once in awhile.

That's the kind of stuff a parent thinks about with a regular old 7.5 year old. And here I am, thinking it. Cool.

I talked with his teacher yesterday about IEP goals. This is the most communication I've ever had about goals, and it feels wonderful. Every other IEP meeting seemed like it came out of nowhere and I was ill-prepared. I kind of felt like I was going there so they could tell me about my kid. So then when everyone turned to me and asked me MY goals for Henry, I was like uhhhhh, errrrr, I want him to like school and make friends. Brilliant, mom.

So anyway, I feel much more like this is a team effort now and it's nice. I will share the goals when they are written down, but in general we talked about the following:

-working on other leisure skills and activities. Mrs. C said that during leisure time Henry always chooses a book, puzzle, or computer. She would like to see him choose to play a game with someone once in awhile

-raising his hand and waiting his turn to speak. I brought this up because lately I notice him interrupting a lot. I think he has always done it, but we have all been conditioned to think everyone stop what you're doing- Henry is talking. All eyes must be on him. It can't be that way for the rest of his life!

(Side note: I am becoming more aware of this as I try to assess what effect having a "disabled" brother might have on Thomas. When we were at Tommy's 3-year checkup, Henry kept wanting to talk to the doctor- show him his books and papers, etc. I told him that Tommy was talking to the doctor and Henry would have to wait his turn. But Henry is not used to hearing that.)

-some basic fine motor skills that still need work: buttoning, snapping, zipping, squeezing glue

-conversation skills/how to greet his peers and chat with them. Mrs. C told me that she realized that Henry would say "I miss my mommy" as a sort of conversation-starter with adults! She couldn't figure out why he would say it when a new person came into the room, but then figured out that it was a way to break the ice!

-she said that Henry is at (or above) grade level for his academic skills, so those do not need to be part of the IEP.

He will still "tantrum" (her word) on occasion and refuse to do work somewhat frequently. And she would like to see him get away from needing a reward for everything; like he often is bribed to do his independent work with the promise of earning computer time, etc. But I think back to where we were a year ago- don't even want to think about 2 years ago- and he has progressed 100%.

So check with me in a year and he'll probably be calling me on the phone to ask when I can take him to spend his allowance!

happy birthday sweet darlin'

Dear Thomas,

Yesterday was your third birthday- you are sure becoming a big boy. You are hoping that with this birthday you will be as big as your brother Henry and your friends Graham and Mitchell. I hate to tell you that those boys all keep getting older too, and you will never catch them!

Two was a very fun year, and I think three will be even better. This year you learned to use the potty, learned to do a forward roll in gymnastics, started sleeping in a big boy bed, and did a lot of superhero play fighting.
You are becoming very aware of emotions and are learning to communicate your feelings in ways other than screaming and crying (although you still do your fair share of that; you're only 3 after all). You often surprise me by saying "mommy, are you getting a little bit mad?" I don't expect you to read my body language and sighs so well (the other people in the family often don't!) But of course, it's to your benefit to detect when I am grumpy and try to make me happy instead.

You are quite a good talker- so much so that I have to remind you that certain other children aren't babies; they are actually your age, but just can't speak as well as you can! You do get hung up on particularly tough words, like accident and hospital, but don't we all?

You currently like to wear shorts at all times (earlier in the year it was costumes) and change your clothes several times a day. Wearing shorts is actually the privilege that I take away from you when you need to be disciplined. What will I do for a threat in the summer?

You are just a really great kid. I worry a lot about comparing you and your brother, but I do want to say that, at least partially because of him, I find so much joy in your imagination and your easy confidence. And your measly tantrums are a breeze- I can handle them with one hand behind my back. (Or one hand holding on to your brother.)

I think you have been really good for him; one day last week I went in to wake him up and found him in bed with you! And I delight in hearing your little conversations in the back seat: "Tommy, can I please look at that?" "OK Henry, but don't mess it up." "OK, I won't. Thank you Tommy." "You're weltome."

This is one of your favorite outfits of all time. The Halloween shirt says "Here Comes Trouble". You think the monsters on it are superheroes, I guess because they are wearing capes.

Yesterday you received a few different kinds of blasters, a tool belt, and some play-dough, among other gifts. And since there was no mail delivery yesterday, I suspect you'll get more in the mail as the week goes on.

We took Spiderman stickers to gymnastics class last night too. What a fun day!

You make me feel very happy Thomas. I tell you that a lot, but I don't want you to ever forget it.

Love,
Mommy

Jack Frost is my favorite Valentine

It's been a weird couple of weeks. That Sunday after we went to Monsters Inc., Henry had a fever and no appetite. So I planned to take Monday off and take him to the doctor. (School ended up being cancelled on Monday and Tuesday due to the cold.)

Henry had Scarlet Fever which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a variation of Strep that comes with a rash. He started the antibiotic on Monday but really didn't start feeling better until Friday! His nose and eyes were runny and his face was all red from the rash- wow- he was a mess.

Then this past week we had some more severe weather. School was cancelled for the kids and even the university where I work was closed on Wednesday!! Even though I had been home quite a bit the week before, it is not fun to be home with a sick kid. So having a day off in the middle of this week was a real treat.

Speaking of treats, Thomas and I started the day off by making brownies in a heart-shaped pan:

Here was the pretty view through the kitchen window:

Later that morning we went outside to shovel and play in the snow. Several inches had fallen, then a layer of ice, and then more snow. So a little one like Thomas could just walk on top of the icy layer. It was a challenge to shovel because I had to chop up the ice first with the edge of the shovel. But I haven't worked out in weeks (months?) so I kind of enjoyed the exertion and the fresh air.

I was slightly discouraged that Henry didn't want to come out and play. The week before, when he was sick, he had talked about wanting to play in the snow. But it seems that for a lot of these kids talking about wanting to do something and actually wanting to do it are two different things. And it didn't help that I had turned off his DVD to make him get bundled up and come outside. I know that was a huge mistake, but I didn't want to sit around for another hour until the DVD was over...
So Henry came outside and cried and begged to go back in until I let him. Sigh.

Aside from that incident, it really was a nice day.

The layer of ice made everything sparkle. The snow shushed all the sounds of the busy street near us, and there weren't many cars out anyway, so I could really hear the creaking of those ice-covered tree branches.

I also talked to one of my brothers that day (the one who lives near DC)- it turned out that he had a snow day too! Nice of mother nature to give us a day off, wasn't it?
I was supposed to have my conference with Henry's teacher that day, but now it looks like we will have a phone conference instead. I will report about that next week, as well as a certain someone's THIRD birthday...

different-ness

When I found out that my brother was gay, my first emotion was worry. Because I have this perverse need to read about every bad thing that happens in the news, my first thought was that my sweet baby brother would get beat up by some psychotic homophobes and left to die in the cold somewhere.

My second thought was a frustration that now his homosexuality would define him. That he would be "my gay brother", rather than just my brother. And that anytime I was in a situation where someone made a homophobic comment or joke, that I would need to stand up and proclaim "hey- my brother is gay! Take that back!" (This is embarrassing to admit. I should have been doing that all along anyway...)

When my son was diagnosed with autism, my first gut reactions were much the same. I was worried about how others would see my child and even how I would see my child- through this lens of autism. I feared that this "difference" would open up new dangers to Henry, not to mention new obstacles.

Would he always be "my autistic son", Kate's "autistic brother"? Would I have to get on my soapbox all day long and educate people about autism? Would Henry be just a one-dimensional autistic kid? Would anyone look past that and give him a chance to show them his personality?

I'd like to say that I overcame those feelings and worries. But I think what I really did was just smother them with our day-to-day life. The people around me all know about Henry, and the ones who don't are polite enough grown-ups that when it comes up in conversation they just sort of say "oh?" in a surprised way and usually don't ask many questions.

We quickly discovered so many people with huge hearts who choose to work with disabled kids and make a difference in their lives- most of the time Henry and I are both in a warm cocoon of understanding folks who make us feel safe.

But...

Saturday night we went to a get-together at a friend's house. Ironically, this is the same house we visited back in the summer (I can't find the post now, for the life of me, but) at that time I was so pleased with how easy it was to hang out with friends, and how well Henry did.

This time it was different. These friends have 2 kids- ages 7 and 9. Quite a few of their neighbor friends were over. It being SO COLD, the kids were inside, but they were being really wild, really rough and really loud down in the lower level playroom.

Henry found a DVD he wanted to watch (Star Wars) and settled in on the couch with about 10 other DVD boxes to look at/hold on to. I took Thomas upstairs with some Lincoln Logs, and when I came back downstairs I found a group of boys standing around Henry. One of them was saying "take one from him and see what he does". One boy snatched a DVD out of Henry's hands, and the others laughed.

Yeah.

I marched over, grabbed the DVD back from the kid, and said something like "don't do that- he doesn't like it." My head was foggy and I felt like I might either cry or throw up. Needless to say, I pretty much stayed by Henry's side the rest of the night. I frankly don't think that he thought twice about those kids or what they did. But I'm having a hard time getting past it.

One of the boys said something like "I wanted to look at one of those and he grabbed it from me." So I suppose that's how it started- one of the boys wanted to look at the DVDs and Henry didn't let them. Then they figured out that he was different and it would be fun to mess with him...
We had a busy day that day. I had taken the boys to see Disney on Ice that morning, along with my friend and her daughter. I was feeling great because Henry did so well there. Aside from covering his ears because the sound was too loud, he was happy and engaged the whole time. He said "this place is great!" and thanked me for taking him.
So this incident with the kids was like a slap in the face. It made me realize that these boys are Henry's age- this is how typical 1st grade boys act. Typical 1st grade boys are way too cool for Disney on Ice. I mean, Bill said it made him glad that Henry isn't "typical"- those kids were too obnoxious and out of control! But I like to live in a fantasy world where, even though my child is different, he will never be teased or singled out. Everyone will be gentle with him and try to engage in his interests.

To get back to the point I made in the beginning... most of the time I can feel like we are just an ordinary family. But what happened on Saturday makes me feel like we are "the family with an autistic kid." I am the mom who sits down in the playroom while the rest of the moms are drinking wine upstairs. Autism does define us. And it does define how others (especially other children) may view my child. I will always need to be on guard, especially in unusual situations. And I guess I will need to prepare Henry for what to do in those situations. But I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to hold him on my lap forever and tell those other kids to go sit down and shut up.
To be fair, things calmed down later in the evening (one really wild boy went home) and I did sit with the other women for a bit. They were talking about tv shows I don't watch, and I kind of thought that I enjoy my son's company just as much on a Saturday night.
Here are a few pictures from the Disney on Ice outing. This first one was taken in the car on the way there. Tommy said "Henry is holding my hand" and I was like "in a nice way?!" So I had to take a picture of it. He's never done that before!
We had front-row seats:

Henry reading his program:

Covering his ears:

I don't really know why I am making this connection today, between my brother and my son, and my reaction to their different-ness. I just don't want anyone I love to be in a vulnerable position. Ever. Dream on, eh?

one of those bragging posts

Last night Henry tread water in the deep end while his teacher counted to twenty.

Last week he learned to sit-dive.

He has been attending Spanish class with the other first graders and is doing very well, according to his teacher.

One night this week he had left a Spiderman book open on the floor to the Doc Ock page. (He leaves a trail of papers and magazines and books that are open to particular pages that he likes.) Thomas stopped to pick it up and Henry ran right over to stop him. "Henry," I said, "you weren't looking at that book anymore. Can you please let your brother look at it for awhile?" (This is the kind of request that I've uttered fruitlessly 100 times before.) But this time, to my shock, Henry said "ok", and handed the book over.

So many times this week he has said "thank you mommy" without being prompted. And "have a good day Kate" when we drop her off at school, also unprompted. (There were times earlier in the year when I tried to prompt him to say "have a good day" and he would shout "HAVE A BAD DAY KATE!" instead.)

This morning he announced "it's February 2nd. It's Groundhog Day. (And then in a sweet soft voice) Happy Groundhog Day mommy."

Kate has 2 study halls this semester (didn't have any last semester). So she decided to help in Henry's class a couple days a week and make it an independent study project. She started this week and it's going great. She has also been helping him with his homework after school and, by all accounts, is able to get him to do lots of things that the rest of us can't.

She helped Bill coach his 6th graders Wednesday night too.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone!

Henry's teacher sent a note home- it's time to start thinking about our goals for next year's IEP. She also sent home his progress report. As I read it ("Henry often initiates play on the playground, but most of his classroom activities are solitary."), I found myself thinking that I really couldn't care less whether or not he invites a friend to do a puzzle with him, or how many turns he will take while playing with a friend before a teacher has to prompt him.

I need some help thinking about my goals for Henry. The goals on this IEP have been handed down and modified since he was 4 years old and in preschool. It has taken us that long to get him comfortable with using scissors and taking turns with friends. They were important goals at the time, I guess, but I am really tired of reading about them, and I would think his teachers are tired of working on them! Well, I suppose that's their job. Maybe someone who's a teacher could weigh in on this?

I just find it really hard to pin this down. My goals for Henry are the same as my goals/hopes for my other children: that he enjoy school; continue learning; be/feel safe, loved, understood and respected; be respectful of others.

I don't really care if he finds a "best friend" or learns to hit a home run. And some of the things I would like to get him to do: eat vegetables and use utensils, aren't things that can easily be worked on at school.

Anyone have any suggestions?

(And don't forget to read the post below with lots of pictures.)

indoor exercise

Let's start off with a few pictures from Thomas' gymnastics class last night. Here are the kids warming up:

At the end of the warmup they do a little dance to the music from the Penguin movie Happy Feet. Here Tommy is turning in a circle doing a penguin walk. He takes this very seriously and is very good at it!

Here he is walking on a low soft balance beam. They would then go on to the next wedge and do a forward roll. Then...

Swing out over "the pit" and drop in!

I have been wondering/worrying about Henry's sensory needs and his lack of interest in most types of exercise (aside from swimming and wrestling). (We tried the above gymnastics class with him and he hated it.) About a year ago I had looked into getting some kind of jumping apparatus for inside, but they seemed too expensive and impractical.

A few weeks ago when I arrived to pick up Tommy from his sitter's home, I found the kids jumping in this thing in her basement. It's kept inflated by a fan (like those inflatable seasonal things people put out in front of their houses), and so collapses when not being used. I expressed my interest and asked how much it had cost (I guessed $200, but it was only $115). L said that she was disappointed in the size, and had found a larger one that she might order if I would like to buy this smaller one.

I said that I would discuss it with my husband first. I did, and he thought the idea was crazy, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Saturday morning I cleared a spot in the basement between the furnace, water heater, stairs, and laundry room.

(I shouldn't even post these pictures because it shows our messy crowded basement to the whole world. This is the storage part of the basement. There is also a little corner room with the computer, a laundry room and another room with a couch and tv, etc.)

Henry HATED this thing. He hated the noise it makes and he hated having to get off the computer to jump in it. I picked him up (not easy when he is struggling) and threw him into it and tried to make him jump. He cried and scratched and clawed at me, leaving red scratch marks on my chest.

I know that my husband was thinking "Hello? This is your son, Henry. Maybe you have forgotten everything you've ever known about him, but he doesn't like any of the things you are doing right now. What the hell are you thinking?" But he didn't say any of those things to me, God love him.

Sunday morning Henry was doing the things that I interpret as revealing a need for sensory input: climbing on Bill; trying to put his fingers in Bill's mouth, ear and eye; tickling; just being rough.

So I tried again with the jumpy thing, this time with more success. We pretended that Henry was Darth Vader and I was Princess Leia and he was trying to "get" me/blast me. I would run around the jumpy thing and he would kind of chase me and then I would grab his arms and try to knock him down, throw him against the sides, etc. Henry didn't cry this time and he actually laughed and was proud when he could avoid being knocked down. "I am so strong!" he would shout.

Eventually Thomas got in too and they acted out some Star Wars scenes together.

Also Tommy would pretend to be injured, and then Henry would help him up. Since he's not allowed to pull Tommy up by the arm (see post back in November about nursemaid's elbow), Henry tried pulling Tommy up by the leg! Then I suggested that he grab him around the middle to pull him up.

Time will tell how much use we get out of this thing, but I am hopeful.

These are Henry's homework papers from last week. I'm not sure how well you'll be able to see them out there on the internet, but there is a whole lot of Henry handwriting on these pages!

He brought home a book about hibernation to read, and then was to complete these sheets. I was anticipating that he would dictate his answers and one of us would actually do the writing. But after one afternoon of Super Teenage Sister working with him, this is the result. He wrote every letter on his own, and did both sheets in one sitting.

Henry had enough good days in a row last week that he received a prize from his teacher on Friday. I'm not clear on the criteria for earning a prize- what constitutes a "good" day? And do you have to have a full week of "good" days to earn a prize? (Last week was a short week due to MLK day, but an admirable achievement, nonetheless.)

The prize was a small Fantastic Four puzzle. His other bottom tooth came out last week also, and his teacher found it by the computer and sent it home the next day. So at least I have one of his baby teeth to keep in my jewelry box forever.

Considering his great week, I was caught off-guard by what happened on Saturday. My parents came to visit, and I suggested we go to Henry's school and play on the playground. They had never seen his school, and I thought Henry might like to show them around.

I was way off with that one. Henry DID NOT want to go to his school AT ALL. He protested on our way out the door and all the way there. He protests lots of times, and if we just keep on moving he gets over it. But not this time. I even tried dragging him up on the "wobbly bridge" to play, but nothing would budge his mood. He kept pinching my arms, and a couple times my face. Finally I just sat down and squeezed him on my lap, rocking back and forth.

"It feels nervous," he said

"It makes you feel nervous to come to your playground?"

"Yes."

I can only surmise that the whole thing seemed wrong to him: going to his school when it wasn't a school day; bringing Grandma and Grandpa there, his little brother being there too...

I'm very happy that he came up with "it feels nervous." I hope he'll be able to build on this with time.

He pinched me quite a bit on Sunday also, but I think for a different reason. We went to watch Bill's team's basketball game. Henry seemed excited to be there and seemed to be enjoying himself. But he pinched my arms a lot. I am hypothesizing that he was feeling "nervous" in a different way- an excited way- and maybe the pinching helps release that energy? I wonder if I got him something else to squeeze if it would help.

He is really cute with the girls on Bill's team (6th graders). When he goes along to practice sometimes he runs laps with them! They all seem to really like him, and vice versa. Conversely, though, when one player's first-grader sister and her mom came over to introduce themselves to me, Henry didn't even give the girl a glance. When I tried to ask him about her, his only comment was, "there are 2 Graces" (in first grade). He seems to think it is so crazy that there are 2 girls with the same name. (This girl's name was not Grace, so I don't know what that had to do with anything? Maybe Henry likes one of the Graces.)

follow up

Henry's teacher called yesterday afternoon. "Henry has had a great day, but..."

When he grabbed his bowling ball and headed up to the lane, he slipped/tripped/stumbled and BONKED HIS NOSE on his bowling ball! Ouch!

As recently discussed, Henry doesn't seem to feel much pain (his teacher told me that they have noticed the same phenomenon), so his profusely bleeding nose did not slow him down. She said he just wanted to keep on bowling.

_______
We are having trouble fitting homework into Henry's routine. He gets home from school around 4. He often is then whisked off to swimming lessons, basketball practice, or the exercise place with Daddy. By the time I get home it's time to eat and then have some much-deserved down time with a movie or on the computer, maybe fit in a bath once in awhile before bed.

Last night I forced him to do some homework, and he suggested "first homework, then movie". So I agreed. He wrote his name on the page. The first question asked "What is today?"

He is well aware of what day it was (especially because it was a community trip day). But to spite me and his teacher, he took the pencil and wrote Noday. No day! You might make me do this @*$# homework, but you're not going to like my answers!
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Henry had a swimming lesson yesterday and I remembered that I never answered MOM-NOS's question about his swimming lessons a few posts back.

Henry takes swimming lessons through Easter Seals. I would highly recommend Easter Seals' many programs to any family with a special needs child. We found our way to Easter Seals the summer that Henry was almost 5. He was in a preschool class where he received itinerant (ie brief and sporadic) special needs services, provided through the school system (thus only during the school year). We knew that he could not spend the summer in that environment without ANY supports. So his special needs preschool teacher provided me with a few ideas for summer "camps"- one being Easter Seals.

They have an indoor therapeutic pool where the kids would swim as a class once a week. I inquired about swimming lessons, and he has been taking them ever since. So, yes, the teachers have experience in working with "disabled" kids of all kinds.

Have a good weekend. I am hoping to use the long weekend (I have the day off Monday) to get a decent photo of my kids. Wish me luck.

bear with me on several different subjects

Bill and I went on a date Saturday night. I had been complaining to a friend about how little time he and I get to spend alone together, and she gently suggested that we could go out and ask Kate to babysit. I'm sure she was thinking "you dummy- you have a teenager who lives in your home! Take advantage of that and ask her to babysit." That's not always as easy as it sounds, because Kate is often busy on weekend nights. But she didn't have plans last Saturday, and we had a movie gift card to spend...

We went to see Casino Royale, the new James Bond movie, and we loved it! I can't be sure if the movie was really that good, or it was just so exciting to be out in the world on a Saturday night that everything had a glow around it! The two beers I drank that night (one before the show and one after) tasted extra good too!

I haven't always been a James Bond fan- that has been cultivated over the years that I've known Bill. But on the rare occasion that we go out to a movie, superhero-type films are the only ones that appeal to me. Due to my highly emotional state, I never want to run the risk of seeing a show that will make me cry or be in any way traumatized. So it's James Bond or Spiderman. No chick flicks for me.
In case you're wondering, we both approve of the "new" James Bond- Daniel Craig. Bill thinks he's the best since Sean Connery. Bill also thinks I might like him a little TOO much. So I guess I won't download that Casino Royale screensaver :-)
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Henry's class is going on one of their monthly "community trips" today. (I'm not sure why they're called community trips vs. field trips?) Today they are going bowling and to a pizza place for lunch. Henry has been excited about it, but when he woke up this morning he said he didn't "feel like going bowling."
This happens most times that he is looking forward to doing something. When the time comes, he says he doesn't want to do it after all. I think he must feel too excited/anxious. I asked him if that was the case, and he said "I feel kind of anxious." Who knows if I am putting the right words in his mouth?
__________
I work for a large university which competed in the BCS championship game Monday night (college football, for any who aren't big sports fans). The whole town has been in a frenzy about it for 6 weeks. My husband has been listening to the marching band music in the car on his iPod and has Henry hooked on it. It's pretty cute to hear Henry singing along enthusiastically in his off-beat, off-key way.
When he woke up on Monday morning, Henry asked if we were going to THE GAME. "Oh no," I replied, "the game is really far away- in Phoenix Arizona. The girls in my office who are in the band are at the game, and my friend R (the director of my office). But we aren't going to the game. We can just watch it on TV."
Well, his note from his teacher that day said that he had a really rough day- kept talking about not going to the game! Poor Henry. Why did he think we would be attending the game?! We had gone to a women's basketball game the week before, so maybe that confused him.
_________

My frugality paid off for once: Kate's iPod screen has been damaged for months. The suggestion was made that we get her a new iPod for Christmas. But me, being cheap, thought I'd look into getting it repaired first.

I took it to the Apple store, and they told me to hurry up and send it in for repair, because we were days away from the end of our warranty. I requested a repair online, they sent me a box, and I sent the iPod off. I was sure they would call and grill me about what happened to it. Or, they would repair it and bill me $400. But you'll never believe what happened:

I sent the machine in last Thursday- they would have received it on Friday. On Monday there was a note on the office door that I had missed a delivery on Saturday and it would be attempted again that day. It was a replacement iPod!!!! I love Apple!

outsmarted again

Yesterday morning while we were waiting for the school bus and watching Playhouse Disney, Henry told me "I like Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse." I already knew this, of course, but I saw the comment as my golden opportunity to promote what they've been doing over at the NOS house.

"You know what, Henry? My friend Bud, he likes Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too. He wanted a Mickey Mouse clubhouse toy, and decided to try to earn one with a sticker chart."

Henry was rapt. Smiling and hanging on every word. It was working...

"Bud doesn't like vegetables either. When he eats them, he goes 'aaack aack (said as I made a gagging face)', just like you! Actually, he's a lot like you- that's why his mom and I are friends. So now, every time he eats a bite of a vegetable, he gets a sticker on his chart! And once his chart is filled up. . . he gets the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy!"

I was doing a great job of selling this idea! He was buying it, hook, line, and sinker.

"So you could try that, Henry. If there was a toy you wanted..."

Henry interrupted: "or a movie or a book..."

"Right. If you wanted a toy or a movie or a book, we could have a sticker chart! And every time you ate a vegetable, you would get a sticker."

Henry summarized: "So every time I ate a tomato, I would get a sticker!"

Mom furiously tries to salvage this deal: "oh, right, ummm, I forgot how much you like tomatoes. And those, are, umm, vegetables. Errrr..."

Luckily I was saved by the school bus. If he remembers this conversation, he'll have me feeding him 37 tomatoes at one meal and then buying him a present.

pain and perseveration

Henry has always had unusual reactions to pain. Part of this, of course, can be attributed to his verbal difficulties. Throughout all his many ear infections, he has never been able to say that his "ear hurt". I have had to read the body language- uncontrollable shivers in the middle of the night- to surmise what was going on.

But beyond the language issue, I think something else is going on here- something neurological? His reactions to pain are usually inappropriate. Often an under-reaction, but sometimes an over-reaction. And it's hard to say which one frightens me more.

We have had to call the emergency squad twice for Henry. Both times he had fallen, hit his head, and appeared to lose consciousness. Both times he regained consciousness while the medics were at our home, and they determined that he was fine. There have been other similar instances when we did not call 911. Not only did he lose consciousness briefly in all these cases, but he appeared to be having a seizure- his eyes rolled back and his body became stiff. It was as if he would cry, hold his breath, and then have this seizure.

As you're reading this, you are probably thinking "my God- why didn't you have some tests run?!" I'm actually wondering that myself. But, you know, we had him examined by the pediatrician after the instances, and were told that this is a common "fainting" type reaction.

I actually have had similar experiences myself- the most recent one being when I was in labor with Tommy and they tipped the examining table back too far and I passed out. I forget the term my OB used, I think it started with a V. Someone with medical knowledge help me out...
**UPDATE: Thanks to the anonymous comment, I found this on the Mayo Clinic site about Vasovagal Syncope (fainting). So it seems like this is just the medical term for random fainting that occurs from fright and various other simulii!**

It has been a few years since the last time this happened to Henry, so perhaps it was something his nervous system "grew out of."

But yesterday, he had a different type of reaction to pain. He and Tommy were fighting/wresting- whatever you call it that brothers do. (It's fighting, but they both kind of like it.) I walked into the room just in time to see Henry bapping Thomas in the face with his paperback book, and I broke up the fight. Henry stood there and looked at me for a minute, then started to cry and SCREAMED the loudest, angriest scream I have ever heard from him.

Well, I have heard the same scream and seen the same look once before: this summer at mom and dad's house when Henry pulled their dog's tail. The dog nipped at him, Henry pulled back his hand and looked surprised, but didn't cry out. (So I didn't think he was hurt.) I started to scold him for pulling the dog's tail, and that's when he gave me this same hurt, angry scream. The dog had actually nipped his finger.

So yesterday when it happened, I knew immediately Henry must have been hurt. I tried to ask him what happened, but he was so angry he just hit at me and yelled. But I saw a wet spot on his sleeve and knew that Thomas must have bitten his arm.

It wasn't until hours later that Henry would let me look at his arm and, sure enough, there was a bruise and bit of broken skin in the form of tooth marks.

We wonder if, because he does have such a seemingly high pain tolerance, when something really does hurt it shocks him so much that he has this extreme reaction.
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Yesterday (the last day of winter break) we went shopping to spend the money and gift cards the kids had received for Christmas. We went to Toys R Us and Target. After wandering all the toy aisles, and much deliberation, do you know what Henry picked out to buy?

Star Wars, episodes IV, V, and VI, on DVD.

We already have those movies at home.

But I guess, if you REALLY love something, what could be better than having TWO of that something?

He ate dinner with the DVDs and took them to bed with him.

Can the rest of us say that we are THAT content with our Christmas gifts?