photos, general update, and siblings revisited

The photo shoot at Target went great on Friday!! I intended to only get a photo of the three kids together and then one or two of Tommy to commemorate his 3rd birthday. My logic was that Kate and Henry get school pictures taken, so I didn't need to get more taken.

Of course I was wrong, because these were much better than what gets snapped at school!

I had "warned" the photographer ahead of time about Henry: we've been burned before by photographers who wanted to do lots of different poses and props. Henry will usually only tolerate one or two snaps, and you'd better hope that you got something usable!

He is getting older, however, and this photographer was more calm than some we've seen, so she was able to get quite a few photos.

So finally I can check something off my to-do list that's been there since Christmastime!

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The rest of our spring break weekend was nice. The whole family (yes, even the teenager) enjoyed a picnic at the park on Sunday.

Both boys have been doing a super job of helping with the new chores (taking out the trash, putting away clothes, cleaning up). I kind of feel like a dunce to not have done this sooner, but oh well. I am learning to work through (i.e. ignore) Henry's protests and am finding that he'll do all sorts of things if I just make him do them (through persistence, not physical force)!

He has always argued about everything, but now has added SHOUTING to his repertoire. It sometimes makes us smirk because it is quite an over-reaction. If I were more technologically savvy I would record him so you could hear it... At any rate, we feel that while I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE A BATH (along with a foot-stomp for emphasis) is not the response we would like him to give us, it is a developmentally appropriate way to try to assert his independence and is ok from that standpoint. And despite his shouts, he usually proceeds to take off his clothes for the bath anyway.

The other night I found the bathroom stool in Henry's closet. He was trying to reach something on a high shelf (some Disney magazines). I was astounded. This is the first time he's ever shown initiative like that. I guess he just needs the proper motivation (thank you Walt Disney.)

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I left a comment over at Christine's site the other day that I wanted to expand upon a little. It said, in part:

Sometimes I suggest to Tommy that he could play with Henry, and Tommy says "well, Henry doesn't really like to play." And that breaks my heart- for both of them.

But one day last week Henry went along to the sitter with Tommy. When I picked them up, Tommy said (unprompted) "Henry was a little bit nervous today." And this whole new avenue opened up in front of me- one where the little brother could be a voice and a guardian for the big brother. Very comforting.

It is intriguing to me to watch my sons' relationship develop. I have worried about it in the past, but am starting to feel more comfortable. When Tommy was still a baby and Henry was newly diagnosed as autistic, I worried that they would not have much of a relationship at all. But that was silly.
While neither boy is the other's ideal playmate, and they may never play together the way I remember my brothers doing, I do feel that they are forging a lifelong relationship.

Although they were born nearly 4.5 years apart, anyone who didn't know better would assume that Henry and Thomas are quite closer in age. His small size and developmental delays make Henry seem a few years younger than he is.

Some of his interests (Power Rangers, superheroes, Playhouse Disney tv programs, Disney movies) that are a little immature for most 7-year-olds work nicely with Tommy's interests in the same subjects. And, maybe because they've always shared a room, they are both good about sharing toys, books, etc. Well, they're not always good about sharing, but don't seem to have a concept of this is mine- not yours and I hope it stays that way for awhile.

I mentioned when writing about Henry's IEP that both boys are working on zipping zippers. When we visited the zoo and the conservatory recently, they both looked for stone walls, railroad ties, and concrete blocks to walk along, practicing their new balancing skills.

One new development that has surprised me a little is this: Thomas has taken to reprimanding his big brother. For example, he'll say "Henry, you're getting all messy from picking apart your doughnut. Watch me, I take bites." Again, this makes Bill and I smirk, but we quickly tell Tommy "we'll worry about Henry. It's not your job to tell him what to do." I knew the day would come when Tommy would realize he was "more able" than Henry, but I guess I didn't expect it to come at age 3!

I used to worry about how I would tell Tommy about Henry's autism; how I would explain a disability without making Henry seem inferior. But it seems like Thomas is figuring it out for himself. I hope he will grow to be an advocate for and ally to his brother. What a blessing.