hello out there...

So here's the thing- we're really happy with Henry's new school. I keep trying to put my finger on what it is, and find a good way to say that things are good without sounding like I'm criticizing every other type of classroom- and it's just paralyzing me.

So, just to get something out here, since I've been having blogger's block for a couple months, some things I love about Henry's school are...

--He gets art, PE and music. In his previous setting, activities in these specials often surpassed his abilities, so he wasn't included.

--He is in a classroom with 16 other students, and 5 teachers. He has lots of peer interaction, and enough teachers that he doesn't become too attached/dependent on one in particular.

--He is responding to the classroom behavior expectations- worries about getting a strike (consequence for bad behavior- 3 strikes and you're out) and gets excited about coloring in a square when he has an extra good day (once each square of the picture is colored in, the class gets a party)

--Since the 1st of the year, they have been selecting a "star student of the week". They make it seem like a reward for good behavior*, but I'm sure that every child will eventually get a turn. Henry was star student the week of Jan. 19, and he LOOOVED it. He was bursting with pride. Every week he reports to me whose turn it is to be star student, and adds that he wishes he could be star student again.

*The week that he was star student, the class newsletter said "Thank you Henry for being a great role model for your peers. Simple steps to be the Star Student: Follow classroom and school rules, Participate in class, Turn in daily homework, Set a good example for peers."

--Teachers and students seem to appreciate Henry for who he is. We've always heard "oh, he's so cute" "he's just darling" from teachers, and while that's nice to hear, it can at times sound like your child is not being taken seriously. Or like "I can't understand a damn word that the kid says, but he sure is cute with those glasses!"

My impression at the new school is that, while they do appreciate his looks and charm, the adults also have high expectations for my 9.5-year-old son.

The bigger picture that makes all of this work is, he is in a class with his peers (other children with autism- those peers. Not typical peers), but his education is molded to fit his individual needs. When I observed a couple weeks ago, a group of 6 students (including Henry) was working on their spelling words. He is in a different group for reading, another for math, etc.

In his previous school, I don't think he ever felt part of a class. When he was included in the typical classroom, he sat in the back with an aide, and as long as he wasn't disruptive, it was considered successful. But that felt like visiting the second grade, not being a part of it.

In the previous placement Henry had one teacher, 2 aides, and the teacher's supervisor was miles away. At the new school, teachers have so many colleagues, all expert in teaching children with ASDs, right in the same building. It has to make their job easier.

Throughout the years all of Henry's teachers have tried their damnedest. All of them. All of the aides too. But there just wasn't the manpower required to make it work this well. I question whether there is enough manpower in any public school system? But God knows that I'm no expert, so that's a debate for wiser heads than mine.

Some of the things Henry is doing lately that I'm geeked about (some are small, but you other moms get it that the proof is in the small stuff):

--Calling us "mom" and "dad" vs. mommy and daddy.

--Answering "yeah" rather than "yes". I know this is a pet peeve for some parents, but to me it sounds so much more natural.

--Getting off the bus, waving and saying "hi mom" first- before I greet him.

--Offering up tidbits about his day without being asked- especially if he's gotten a strike or colored in a square that day

--Using his body/muscles in new ways- pushing the shopping cart and then stepping up to ride on it- think about how much upper body strength that requires! And last night he "walked" his feet up on Bill while pushing up with his hands (can you picture that- like doing a pushup and walking your feet up the wall...)

--Awesome back-and-forth with his brother: "you're bothering me", "can you move please?", etc.

--Last night Henry inquired "what are you making for you to eat?" (He was already eating mac & cheese.) I misunderstood the question at first, thinking surely he was asking what else I was making for him to eat. But no- he just wondered what I was having! Just making conversation!

"A tuna wrap" I answered.

"Say that word again" he replied.

So I repeated, and explained how I was making it.

"Do you want to see?" I asked, thinking for sure he would gag when he saw (and smelled) the tuna salad. But no- he remained interested. I spooned the tuna into the tortilla and wrapped it up. "A tuna wrap!" he proclaimed. So proud of his new knowledge.

"Do you want to try a bite?" I asked.

"No thank you." No surprise there.

But who knows? Maybe next time he'll want to help me make it. Maybe one day I'll lounge on the couch while my son makes me a tuna wrap. It could happen. Anything is possible...

blah blah blah about the blog

When I started this blog over 3 years ago (!!!), I think my aim was to have a conversation about autism. No- that's not quite right- my aim was to have a conversation about my son who is autistic. About my life as his mother. A conversation with strangers who had something in common with me. In doing so, I hoped to quiet my mind (a phrase from my yoga DVD) and find comfort and familiarity in a situation that was sometimes uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

Over the next 300 posts (this turns out to be published post #302), I did find comfort. And I found friends. And I found a voice. I found a hobby that was/is quite rewarding to me.

But I didn't quite think through the ramifications of this little website. I told my family about it- mostly because I didn't want them to think I was hiding something from them- sneaking down to the basement to clickity-clack on my secret computer project. But I didn't tell anyone else. None of my real-life friends or co-workers. No one.

It wasn't a deep, dark secret or anything, but more like this: say I decided to take up tap dancing or some other new interest; I might not be that good at it, no one else might really give a shit about it, I would seem like I was fishing for compliments if I told everyone about it, and really, it's just something I'm doing for me- something private between me and my tap shoes. I talk to my new tap-dancing friends about it because it's something we share, but I'm not going to bore the hell out of my neighbors by telling them about it... ok, you get the analogy.

And then, after a couple years went by, it seemed even weirder to tell anyone, because if they surfed over to check it out they'd see all these dozens of posts of baggage, and it would seem like I had been keeping this big secret side of me, and again like I was fishing for compliments...

I realize that I'm waaay over-thinking this, but that is my tendency, isn't it?

But my mom and my husband, God bless them both, have been telling lots of folks about this blog. (And I never told them not to, so it's not like they're going against my wishes, or they didn't know that they were.) But a couple weeks ago they each told someone new about the blog who has a connection to Henry's school.

And that was just a little to close for comfort. So I freaked out and didn't write anything for awhile, briefly made the site for invite only (with myself as the only invitee!), and now I'm posting this little brain-dump.

I have lots of options: I could go to a invite-only site. I could keep this site but be more careful (more thoughtful?) about what I write. I could go to a host like vox that lets me decide what kind of post I'm writing (for public or private publishing). None of those options is totally appealing to me, I think because the first option eliminates the opportunity to meet new readers, while the other two options require more work on my part.

So that's the state of the blog right now. Please weigh in with your thoughts about blogging, privacy, and my over-reaction to the situation. I'd like to know what you think.

photos and a meme

Right you are, Christine. Fodder for a light blog post is just what I needed! Thanks. I didn't get to it over the weekend, and that's probably for the best, as the basement at home would make the "5 things in your room" question kind of unmanageable and/or uninteresting.

So, as I eat my lunch...

5 things found in my bag:

I carry this big black Kenneth Cole bag. I think Bill gave it to me before we were even married. It has held up well. I carry around all kinds of unfinished business in there, along with

-my purse (damn, it's on sale now!)

-our check register (watching every day for that "stimulus money" to be deposited!)

-this hair product on the rare day that I do use it, it's applied in the car or after I've arrived at work

-5 Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons

-100+ pieces of paper pertaining to summer special needs programs, recipes, mapquest directions, e-mail addresses of my jury duty friends, etc. etc. etc.

5 favorite things in my room (office):

A Harry Potter poster hanging next to Henry's 2007 Mother's Day project

Henry made this planter at school. I bought the shamrock plant on our trip to the conservatory last spring.

Photos of the kids, a "sweet strawberry" Yankee candle, a tiny wooden vase Kate bought me on vacation one summer, a stuffed squirrel my boss gave me as a joke the day I was freaking out after hitting a squirrel on the way to work...

That's at least 5 things.

5 things I always wanted to do:

-Visit New Orleans

-Get together with my internet friends in real life

-Be independently wealthy

-Finish that Einstein biography

-stay awake while lying in bed with my son so that I can watch tv or have a conversation past 9 pm

5 things I am currently into:

-Amy Winehouse's cd (I know, I'm behind the times)

-jogging a couple times a week

-Lost

-trying to figure out what the future holds for our family but not freak out about it

-these:

the pictures are misleading- this post is a downer

Remember that good/bad post the other day? That's how my life feels all the time lately. A friend asks about my weekend, and I debate: do I tell report the good or the bad? Because we are living a twilight zone of some of each these days. And to dwell on either for too long seems to not give enough attention to the other.

I can give the sun-shiney report:

-That Henry attended a different gymnastics class Friday; his teacher feels he is ready to move out of the special needs class and into just a "boys fitness" class. Bill said Henry did a good job and seemed to enjoy being "one of the guys".

-That Tommy went to a crazy bowling-alley birthday party on Saturday; he ran around in circles in his bowling shoes until his hair was plastered to his forehead and his cheeks were tomato-red; he hauled the 6-lb bowling ball up to the lane every time and dropped/threw it down- three times into the gutter (despite the bumpers) and once following up with a kick to get it going.
-That both boys successfully rode their new (from Christmas) bikes all the way to the library (over 1/2 mile from home); that Henry required very little help and rode with the posture and attitude of an old man- slow and steady; Tommy needed quite a bit of help at first- for all the things that come easily to him, riding a bike was not one; but by the trip home he was easily keeping up with his brother, and even "skidded" a couple times (how does he know about skidding?!)

my week

I'm having a hard time with this new routine. With my new life as a JUROR. Please indulge a little play-by-play boo-hooing:

Monday was a Federal holiday, so we had no trial. So I went in to work and tried to get as much accomplished as I could. Then, Tuesday, Thomas's birthday, I had to go back to court. Just as a coincidence, L had an appointment that morning and had asked us weeks and weeks before if we could just drop the kids off at preschool that morning, and she would pick them up.

If I were attending my real job, that would be no problem- I'd get to work maybe 1/2 hour later than usual and would be able to pick up donut holes for Thomas to take to school for a birthday treat. BUT, in the current circumstance, I can't be 1/2 hour late for the trial and make all those people wait for ME. So I had to run to the store at 6:30 am, pick up the treat, take the boy to Bill's work, and Bill took him to preschool. It's not a huge hardship for anyone, but it was just frustrating. Partly I think I was just being sensitive because I wanted to be the one to drop off my birthday boy. I wanted to give him one extra birthday squeeze. You know how weird we moms can get on a birthday.

So I was pissy all day at court. Tuesday I tried to be a little more social with my fellow jurors, but by Thursday I was grumpy again. I have these anti-social tendencies at times, and I'm starting to chafe at being forced to hang out with these 14 other people (we have 12 jurors and 3 alternates) all day every day. All of them are nice people, but the longer we are together, the more our differences come out. The snowy and cold weather hasn't helped much either- we get over an hour for lunch, so when the weather is a little nicer, maybe I will go out and wander around downtown.

One day I will post some pictures of the courthouse and the downtown area- it's all very picturesque.

Wednesday court let out a little early. The judge asked if any of us would have a conflict with starting early the following morning. I nodded my head, and later explained to the court deputy that I would NEVER be able to start earlier than 9, as I have to put one child on the bus and take the other to his sitter each morning. She said that was no problem. But then the juror next to me started asking questions

"Can't their dad get them off in the morning?" No, he goes in to work at 5:30 am. Not to mention the fact that he already returns home to help out once a month when the school has a late start day.

"Can your son go to latchkey?" Now, the woman who asked this question is an aide in a special ed classroom and we have discussed that my son is autistic. What the hell is she thinking? I thought through all these possibilities a long time ago and discarded them. I am not going to change my life now because of jury duty.

I suppose people like this are trying to be helpful, but it's going to be a looong however-many-more-weeks sitting next to her, that's for sure.

The trial itself is so interesting- I can't wait to tell you about it. (If anyone is interested in the case, you can e-mail me and I will give you some suggestions of places to search for stories about the trial. But of course I can't discuss it with anyone. It's killing me!)

Friday we were scheduled to not have court (I suppose the judge needs some days to get other work done?) Because I had been so on-edge all week, I didn't plan to go into the office, but rather to get some things done at home. A "mental health day", if you will.

Except we had snow and freezing rain and ended up having a snow day. A mental health day is not as effective when all one's children are home with one.

It actually turned out fine- both boys played out in the snow with me for awhile, which is really big for Henry. He is usually quite averse to, well, doing anything outside, but especially in the cold and snow. We also ran a few errands and spent some of Thomas's birthday money.

I wanted to share a couple more pictures from his party. Here are all the kids getting warmed up:

And here is something awesome- Henry doing a "bear walk". You would not have seen this strength and coordination in this boy a year ago!

Henry did have some anxiety about the party. He spent the morning saying he didn't want to go to the party, he didn't like parties, etc. Then, once people started arriving, he got quite excited and kept repeating things like "it is Tommy's birthday! We are having a party! The party is starting!"

He played along and did gymnastics for maybe half an hour. Then he started saying he didn't want to, that he wanted to "help Tommy open his presents", and started getting really anxious about the present-opening. I think Bill missed a lot of the singing, cake, and presents, because he was doing stuff like this:
Then, once everyone was leaving, Henry started asking to "do more gymnastics". But our time was up.

I made a new friend this week, and I hope you'll check out her blog: Rooster Calls. Her son is 3 and she suspects he is on the autism spectrum, but doesn't have a diagnosis yet. She has been reading some blogs, looking for reassurance/guidance/support and stumbled across mine.

I've been thinking about what I convey, as the parent of an 8-year-old boy with autism, to some of the newbies in our community. I hope I don't seem to really know what I'm doing, because that's definitely not the case. But I can say that, with the birthday party being a good example, our family has learned how to cope with Henry's differences. And as he has grown he has become better able to express his needs and wants in a more appropriate, if still atypical, manner. If this party had happened when Henry were 3, or even 5, he probably would have screamed the entire time. We wouldn't have had a party. If it were someone else's party, we would have left early.

So we are all figuring it out together. It gets easier. And we're all happy to lend a hand to someone else, knowing that's one more hand to pull us up when we need it too.

#100, just boring old stuff

Was yesterday a full moon? Because it was a weird day. First, the head of Henry's "summer camp" program at Easter Seals called to tell me that Henry had gotten bonked in the face. I guess another child in the program likes to mess around with the naptime cots, stacked in the corner. Henry was sitting on the floor, reading a book, when this child swung a cot around and hit Henry right in the nose!!! His nose bled a little, and now he has an ugly bruise across the bridge of his nose, where his glasses smashed into his face. Glad we paid a little extra for the flexible-frame glasses, because they are fine- just his face is hurt :-(

Then Bill called a couple hours later to tell me that they were locked out of the house, and could I come home early? It's not like they could just hang out in the yard, with it being so sweltering outside.

Bill had a bad day at work, and some of my friends reported weird goings-on in their lives. Either it was a full moon or the heat is starting to scramble everyone's brainwaves.

We are going to try to "get serious" about Thomas's potty training. He definitely has the language and the knowledge of what's happening. He also has older friends at the sitter who should be providing the peer pressure. But he just seems to be too lazy. I'm thinking he is the kind of kid who will really respond to one of those schemes where he gets a sticker every time he goes, and then when he gets a certain number of stickers we go buy a toy.

Anyone with experience with this? That stuff would never have worked with Henry. I honestly don't remember how we finally got Henry using the potty... I think his sitter did all the work. And he was right around 4 years old. Tommy is not quite 2 1/2, but I'm sure he's ready.

He's definitely familiar with the body parts involved. A couple days ago, riding in the car, we were talking about something to do with daddy. All of a sudden, Tommy says "him have a p***s?" (I feel like I shouldn't write out the whole word or I'll get some kind of weirdos doing google searches for inappropriate things...)

I replied "who? daddy?" And Tommy goes "NO- hiiim" and holds up his teddy bear. "Him have a p***s?" And he points to the bear's tail!

I said "no- that's his tail."

Tommy thought about that for a minute and then said "Oh. Does him have a bottom, and a hole?" Straight from the Once Upon a Potty books.

I swear sometimes it's like starting all over with Tommy. Henry never went through some of those goofy stages that typical kids do- where they are obsessed with potty talk and stuff. Henry's always seemed sort of above all that, in a way.

almost 100

"Thanks, God, for giving us a new week." That's what Henry just said, while soaking in the tub.

It's something I have said once or twice, when praying with him at church. But we haven't been to church in months. What made him say that tonight? What made that thankful emotion overcome him?

When I repeated it back to him, Henry added, "Thanks, God, for giving us the fire in the fireplace." I had already forgotten how sweet he was the night we made a fire on vacation. He was entranced by the fire and kept thanking each of the grownups for it. Maybe tonight he had an epiphany, and realized that, although Daddy might make the fire, God is ultimately responsible for it. (Or maybe he was just really mellowing out after a long day of summer camp swimming, going to "Bally Total Fitness" with Daddy, printing some things from the computer and eating a dinner of sausage and waffles.)

The pictures above are of a night my sons both fell asleep in Henry's bed (with a flashlight between them) something my friend Sal's kids do often, but I thought I would never see at my house; and their reaction to the fireworks on the fourth (holiday I supposedly don't like).

This is post #99. Thanks for reading for almost 100 posts. There's a good vibe in our house right now- hope it extends to yours as well.

5 things, times 4

OK, MOM. You might just be sorry you tagged me, as this list seems quite un-interesting. But here goes.

5 things in my refrigerator:
-leftover fried rice from last night
-bacon and link sausage for my little carnivore, Henry. We buy sausage weekly- the way other people buy milk and bread
-I, on the other hand, have tried to be a vegetarian off and on for the past 18 years or so. So we have three varieties of veggie burgers in the freezer
-small jug of sangria
-water bottle full of hummingbird nectar for my husband's bird feeders

5 things in my closet:
-forlorn, unused yoga mat
-Ohio University hooded sweatshirt that I've had since 1987 when I visited while in high school.
-a pair of maternity pants that I still like to wear! (They're black and stretchy and the kind that just ride under your belly, ok?)
-Several more pairs of black pants
-2 items that I think used to belong to Kate's mom. She gave them to Kate and then Kate didn't want them anymore... That's right, I have hand-me-downs from my husband's ex-wife! (She does have nice taste- a striped Tommy Hilfiger blouse and a salmon colored hooded cardigan from Ann Taylor Loft.)

My wedding dress is in a closet at my parents' house, and my new running shoes are not in the closet, but downstairs by the back door.

(I'm grasping for something interesting here. I assume this exercise is supposed to reveal something about me, and it seems that it is just exposing my thriftiness.)

5 things in my purse:
-2 packs of Extra gum, spearmint and watermelon flavors
-This honey & shea hand cream
-4 lip glosses
-#50 sunscreen
-shopping list for Target from earlier this week- guess I can throw that away...

5 things in my car:
-4 Disney books-on-tape to be returned to the library after work. (Actually, I need to renew Hercules, because they love that one.)
-stroller
-adult and kid-sized umbrellas
-Thomas' Darth Vader sunglasses (I've gotta get a picture of him wearing them. You won't believe how cute he is.)
-6 1/2 years' worth of poptart and donut crumbs, dirt, and spilled coffee, plus a little sand

selfish post

March Madness is Bill's favorite holiday. Superior even to Christmas, I think. This year he took today off work and planned to eat chicken wings and watch basketball all day. I requested the day off too. Although I'm not so much into the basketball, I thought it would be really nice to have a Friday off together, sitting on the couch. I could read a magazine or something, and maybe have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband. (Although probably not unless it involved the bracket.)

Then we got this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for tickets to the tournament games in Dayton (about 1.5 hours away). At first I foolishly thought that he and I could go to the games together. But then reality set in:

A. Someone needs to meet Henry after school at 3. Although we could make arrangements for someone else to do that, there is the more important fact:

B. Kate and Bill would have a lot more fun together at this event than Bill and I would.

So father and daughter are having a little adventure today, while I just went in to work in the morning and shuttled my little boys around in the afternoon.

See, here's the selfish part. Even though I know this was the right way for things to work out, I am a little jealous/pouty/miffed that my lame plan for a day on the couch was nixed, in favor of a totally awesome day of watching 4 basketball games (including favorites OSU and UNC) for Bill and Kate. Kind of like "why do they get to have all the fun?"

And then I feel even worse when I think "well, this is a really special interest they share. If a really rare opportunity came along for something special I enjoy, I would get to do that." And then I start to wonder what that special thing might be, and then I get even more bummed out when I realize that I have no hobbies or interests. Some women are into scrapbooking, and might take a weekend scrapbooking getaway, for example. Or a golf vacation with girlfriends. Or a hiking trip, or some other crazy athletic thing...

I did get to talk to my brother in Sydney tonight (which was a special opportunity, and I'm glad I didn't miss it- see, I'm seeing the silver lining already). We talked about this issue and I realized that the one special thing I do, just for me, is keeping this blog and reading my ever-growing circle of friend blogs.

It's kind of a weird, solitary thing I do here in the basement. But maybe that's the most I can hope for at this point in my life: waiting 'til the kids are asleep and then sitting down in the cold basement "talking" to my cyber-friends.

So, thanks for being there guys. Until we can organize a yearly convention to spend a weekend together, this is my little getaway.

(I sure hope I don't sound like as much of a pitiful loser as I feel!)

Hi friends. I've missed you! Been checking some of your sites when I get a minute, but I haven't seemed to have enough minutes in a row to write anything myself. Today I took the boys to their sitter and Kate and I are going to do some shopping, but she's at basketball practice and I have AN HOUR ALONE IN THE HOUSE. Can you feel my excitement?! And, like a geek, I'm at the computer. I am enjoying this bit of time to myself. I'm listening to the CD Bill got me for Christmas: Hope and Desire by Susan Tedeschi. I wanted to tell you about my other Christmas gift: this necklace. My first piece of "autism jewelry". I actually prefer to think of it as "Henry jewelry" because it just makes me think of Henry- not of his autism. But maybe it will also raise some awareness and start some conversations when I wear it.

The past week has exceeded all my expectations. Henry has behaved so well- using lots of words and not so much screaming, and also playing with some toys. We had Christmas at Grandma & Grandpa's house, then again at home the next day when Kate came home from her mom's house. We visited the zoo one day and last night went to a college basketball game- Henry was pretty-much-perfect on all occasions. I know that he is over-stimulated and the lack of structure and lack of school are getting to him. When we are just at home together he has been tormenting his brother a bit and doing more screaming and arguing. But I am usually able to have him play quietly in his room for awhile, and that helps.

I will post some pictures soon and also finish my "Henry Chronicles". For some reason the past year seems like it will be hardest to sum up. Maybe because I am afraid to draw any conclusions.

Wishing you all a peaceful 2006.

More music, from the other boy

This was one of those times when Tommy did something totally typical that made my heart stop beating with the excitement of it.

I was driving him to L's house today (his babysitter, and Henry's before him) and Tommy was jabbering on and on. Suddenly I heard him say "not nice!" "Mitchell push David." I started listening harder and realized that he was telling me something that had happened the day before. "Mitchell push! Not nice! David fall down. David cry!"

Henry has never once recounted anything to me about his day. Not spontaneously, anyway. He will tell me "we went to the zoo" or something like that about a field trip. But never, never anything about interpersonal relationships- especially between 2 other children.

I said early on in this blogging adventure that it feels somewhat wrong to compare my kids, but this is my blog, and this is an issue that pops up in my life and is important to me to discuss. When Tommy does something new, that Henry never did because of his autism, it makes me celebrate that Tommy's doing it, and it also makes me grieve a little that Henry didn't do it, and maybe never will.

I believe this is different than just having 2 kids with different personalities. For example, having one child who likes to play with play dough, and one who doesn't. The child who doesn't isn't missing out on a huge chunk of the human experience because he doesn't play with play dough. But our autistic children are missing out because they cannot (or will not?) tell us about their day. This is what we do with people we care about- we share things. Verbally, usually.

(Don't even get me started on the tangent that Henry should be able to tell me about his day from a safety standpoint- what if he is being mistreated or picked on at school? And isn't telling me? I will not be able to sleep at night if I start thinking about that.)

So, this was an exciting morning for me, with a little bit of sadness thrown in for good measure.

PS- L said that Tommy didn't tell me that he also had a time out for pushing David down. Selective communication on his part!

first post

Well, this is intimidating, isn't it? A whole site of my own to fill. Lately I have found myself starting to comment on one of my favorite blogs, but then writing paragraph after paragraph and realizing that this was a bit more than a "comment" and deleting it.

I love this blog community that I've found over the past few months. It is a strange cyber-support group where we can tell the sordid details of our lives on the autism spectrum, and know that the others really "get it". Where a mom can brag that her child pretended to be something, and we all understand why that's a big deal- no further explanation required.

I've gasped countless times when recognizing something in someone else's child that I see in my own. What a great feeling after all these years- someone else's kid does the same thing! (Charlie's backwards hug is the first example that comes to my mind.)

I guess I'll give a little background on my family. I have three children: a teenage daughter (maybe I'll check with her first to see if she minds if I use her name here), 6-year-old son, Henry, who was diagnosed PDD in February 2005, and a 20-month-old (NT) son, Thomas. My husband and I both work outside of the home, and our life is pretty busy.

Things with Henry have actually seemed a bit easier since we got his diagnosis, a name for "what is wrong with him" and some direction in how to deal with it, at home and at school. It is easier to be able to say "my son has autism"- a shorthand way to explain what's up with Henry's behavior, than to just wonder if we had done something wrong and our child was horribly ill-behaved.

Ironic, though, to think how far I've come since Henry was 2 1/2 and a family friend broached the subject of autism with me. I cried for days. Who would have thought then that I would welcome this diagnosis, 3 years later?

I look forward to exploring these issues and many more on this blog. Thanks to anyone who reads, and thanks in advance for the support that I know I'll be needing...