first day of preschool and I'm not gonna cry

Once the kids she cares for are 3, if their parents are interested, Thomas' sitter takes them to the neighborhood preschool. So the younger kids are used to riding along to drop off/pick up the older kids, and are really psyched for preschool by the time they are old enough to go. 3-year-olds go for 2 hours in the morning, 3 days a week. When you're 4 you go 4 days a week.

I didn't figure this would be a huge transition for any of us, considering that Tommy is familiar with the place, he is already used to being away from his parents during the day, and I wouldn't have to be dropping him off and be tortured if he happened to cry. But I do feel a bit strange to be missing out on this- like I'm missing his first smile, first steps, or first black eye (oh wait, I did miss that.)

We attended an "orientation" earlier this week- basically a way for the kids to get familiar with their classroom and for parents to ask a bunch of dumb questions that had already been answered in the letters the school has sent home. (Aren't I such a snob? And I wonder why I don't have more friends.) Tommy worried about what kind of toys they would have in his classroom, and my grasping-at-straws response of "blocks" did not put his mind at ease. (I was informed that "blocks are not toys.")

So I breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered a Batmobile in one of the toy bins! School would be ok after all.

That day I brought my camera, but the batteries were dead. (Why does that always happen?!) So this morning we stopped to snap a couple pictures before I dropped him off at L's house. Tommy does not seem to be worried about school, except to say that "I might be shy." I have tried to reassure him that it's perfectly fine to be shy in a new situation. And when you select as stylish an outfit as my boy did for the first day, you won't be lonely for long!

This morning I had to fill out this long questionnaire, answering questions about my child's fears, likes, dislikes, allergies, and other noteworthy info about his quirks. It took me no time at all. Most moms probably feel this way with their second child, but especially because of all his older brother's special needs, transitions like this with Tommy seem to be so much more manageable and less emotional.

And yes, we do own a hairbrush. Just didn't use it today. If I know L, she got him cleaned up before school. It takes a village, as they say...

the weekend of (mostly) thwarted expectations

The weekend started off well. Thomas mixed up a healthy batch of "dirt soup" Friday night.

Kate was in for the evening, due to an infraction the previous weekend, and we had a pretty good chat. This semester she is helping in a first-grade class every afternoon, and Friday night she told me all about the kids and the things she's been doing with them and how some of them like to hug her and hang on her... I guess there is a boy in the class who is tube-fed and wears a backpack that carries his bag of food (Kate couldn't remember what the name of his condition is), and another boy with Tourrettes. This is the same teacher that Henry was mainstreamed with last year, so I asked if Mrs. C gets all the special needs kids. But Kate said no-there are some in other classes. I get so caught up in my own little "special needs" world that I am surprised to hear there are so many others in the same school district!

Saturday was the big day for Henry and Daddy. You might remember that back in the spring we tried to go to our college football team's open scrimmage... and it was a disaster. Every other idiot (ooops, I mean fan) in town was trying to take their kids to the stadium for $5, and we couldn't find a seat. That day we decided to get tickets to a game this fall so that Henry could go and have a better experience.

Once you understand what happened in the spring, you'll see why Saturday went the way it did: kickoff was at noon. Bill and Henry got there around 11, allowing enough time to walk around and check out the crowd. But Henry was single-minded. He had a ticket this time and he had a seat, and by God he was going to sit in that seat and not move from it:

Here he is talking to me on the phone, sitting in the stadium an hour before kickoff.

I think all the pre-game stuff went ok, and the pre-game band show was the main thing Henry wanted to see anyway. Then it started to rain. And wet clothes are a sensation that Henry is very adverse to. So once they got rained on and he wanted to take off his clothes, it was time to call it a day. Our team hadn't even scored yet (they went on to win, 20-2.)

Bill knew, going to this experiment, that it might not last long. And he has learned from years of experience with Henry how to handle occasions like this. So although he was disappointed to leave without Henry experiencing a touchdown, he wisely just went with the tide. Henry will remember it as a really special and exciting experience, and Bill was able to finish watching the game at a bar down the street, so all's well that ends well.

Tommy had been asking to go to the zoo, and I was looking forward to going on Saturday, just me and him- something special while daddy and Henry were doing something special. Thomas wanted to sleep a little extra Saturday (clue #1), then when he got up, he said "I have a yucky cough like M------". A boy at L's house had developed a barking cough last week, and Tommy had indeed caught it from him.

He still wanted to go to the zoo, so we did. Now usually Henry is our tour guide and drill sergeant: dictating which animals we will see, and how long we will look at them. Either because he was sick, or because he is used to his big brother being the boss, Tommy had no real direction to offer at the zoo. He didn't seem to care what we looked at. He did get to sit on all the photo-op animal statues that we usually blow past, and walk on a lot of low walls. But the reptiles and the coral reef were the only sights that he really requested.

When we returned home from the zoo and gathered on the couch to catch up with Kate and Henry, Thomas rolled his face over between 2 cushions and vomited. His fever went up to 102+ and his cough and sore throat worsened.

So the rest of the weekend was spent worrying and comforting and taking his temperature and trying different medications. We're seeing the doctor this afternoon, but of course his fever seems to be gone today. His voice, though, is totally shot! He can only whisper. It's very odd to have my usual chatterbox be so silent.

His first day of preschool is Friday, so hopefully he'll be back to normal by then. Tune in next weekend for a full report.

Henry at 8 years

This picture is very Henry. He is smirking, kicking his legs, and turning his head side to side, thinking of something funny.

This year his birthday fell on the same day as the football team's season opener. The game was not televised, except on a special network, so Bill and Kate went to watch it at a sports bar and the boys and I went to lunch at McDonalds. (They are wearing their new football jerseys.)

Henry's lovely bus driver gave him a gift card to Blockbuster, which just shows how well she knows Henry, because it was a perfect gift for him! So our fun day started with a Crumbleberry Coffee Cake from Starbucks and included a stop at Blockbuster. Later that evening we went to see Ratatoille.

I thought the movie was cute, if an odd premise for a children's movie. But Henry seemed to love it! He laughed and squealed and kicked his legs non-stop. Bill and I had to take turns putting him on our laps and turning him sideways, so he wouldn't kick the seat in front of him.

On Sunday Grandma and Grandpa came to visit (my mom's birthday was Monday). We spent a bit of the afternoon watching Tommy play outside, while Bill cooked on the grill. When I went in to check on Henry (because of course he had no interest in playing outside), here is what I found:

I asked him what this teetering tower of papers was, and he replied proudly "I matched all the prints with the movies".

These are computer printouts of movie webpages, matched with the corresponding DVD. Bill and I think he may have a career as a librarian, except that he will never want anyone to remove anything from his library!

Yesterday the birthday fun continued. Henry had his annual checkup with the pediatrician, as well as his annual checkup with the eye doctor. But in between, we stopped at the bookstore and Target, and spent some birthday money. You can guess what he chose: more books, DVDs and audio books.

That reminds me of something new Henry is doing: he has learned how to turn the captions on when he watches a DVD. I think this is a brilliant way to further develop his reading skills. It also makes watching a movie feel a little more active- he's working his brain a bit.

The doctors appointments, along with the beginning of the school year, have made me take stock in how far Henry has come. I used to dread visits to the pediatrician. My friend Eileen has just described this much better than I can- the feeling that you are betraying your child by holding him down for the doctor's examination. (I'm not linking to her blog because it is open to invited readers only.)

This time, on the way to the doctor's office, we talked about what the doctor would do. I told Henry that Dr. T might ask him about what he is learning in school, and what other things he has been doing. So, when Dr. T came in and greeted Henry, Henry pointed at me and said "she wants to tell you what I have been doing in school." We both laughed at that- either my message had been misunderstood, or Henry just didn't feel up to the challenge.

Henry cringed when the doctor looked in his ears, but I didn't need to get out of my seat to hold on to him as in the past. Henry is in the 15th percentile, and the doctor and I laughed about that too- Henry has never moved past the 15th percentile.

Henry and I told him about school, gymnastics, horseback riding, and swimming. I explained how Henry couldn't tolerate gymnastics a year earlier, but now responded so well to it.

"Well, he's doing great" summarized Dr. T. I paused and then asked "you mean physically?" "Just in every way" he said. "This visit has gone a lot differently than they used to go, and it sounds like you've got him plugged in to some good programs."

Yeah. Maybe that's why I haven't had as much to write about lately: it's not that Henry isn't autistic anymore, it's just that we are all on a comfortable path now, and (mostly) moving forward. He might not be growing up like a typical 8-year-old, but he is growing up.