Henry's teacher sent a note home- it's time to start thinking about our goals for next year's IEP. She also sent home his progress report. As I read it ("Henry often initiates play on the playground, but most of his classroom activities are solitary."), I found myself thinking that I really couldn't care less whether or not he invites a friend to do a puzzle with him, or how many turns he will take while playing with a friend before a teacher has to prompt him.

I need some help thinking about my goals for Henry. The goals on this IEP have been handed down and modified since he was 4 years old and in preschool. It has taken us that long to get him comfortable with using scissors and taking turns with friends. They were important goals at the time, I guess, but I am really tired of reading about them, and I would think his teachers are tired of working on them! Well, I suppose that's their job. Maybe someone who's a teacher could weigh in on this?

I just find it really hard to pin this down. My goals for Henry are the same as my goals/hopes for my other children: that he enjoy school; continue learning; be/feel safe, loved, understood and respected; be respectful of others.

I don't really care if he finds a "best friend" or learns to hit a home run. And some of the things I would like to get him to do: eat vegetables and use utensils, aren't things that can easily be worked on at school.

Anyone have any suggestions?

(And don't forget to read the post below with lots of pictures.)

indoor exercise

Let's start off with a few pictures from Thomas' gymnastics class last night. Here are the kids warming up:

At the end of the warmup they do a little dance to the music from the Penguin movie Happy Feet. Here Tommy is turning in a circle doing a penguin walk. He takes this very seriously and is very good at it!

Here he is walking on a low soft balance beam. They would then go on to the next wedge and do a forward roll. Then...

Swing out over "the pit" and drop in!

I have been wondering/worrying about Henry's sensory needs and his lack of interest in most types of exercise (aside from swimming and wrestling). (We tried the above gymnastics class with him and he hated it.) About a year ago I had looked into getting some kind of jumping apparatus for inside, but they seemed too expensive and impractical.

A few weeks ago when I arrived to pick up Tommy from his sitter's home, I found the kids jumping in this thing in her basement. It's kept inflated by a fan (like those inflatable seasonal things people put out in front of their houses), and so collapses when not being used. I expressed my interest and asked how much it had cost (I guessed $200, but it was only $115). L said that she was disappointed in the size, and had found a larger one that she might order if I would like to buy this smaller one.

I said that I would discuss it with my husband first. I did, and he thought the idea was crazy, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Saturday morning I cleared a spot in the basement between the furnace, water heater, stairs, and laundry room.

(I shouldn't even post these pictures because it shows our messy crowded basement to the whole world. This is the storage part of the basement. There is also a little corner room with the computer, a laundry room and another room with a couch and tv, etc.)

Henry HATED this thing. He hated the noise it makes and he hated having to get off the computer to jump in it. I picked him up (not easy when he is struggling) and threw him into it and tried to make him jump. He cried and scratched and clawed at me, leaving red scratch marks on my chest.

I know that my husband was thinking "Hello? This is your son, Henry. Maybe you have forgotten everything you've ever known about him, but he doesn't like any of the things you are doing right now. What the hell are you thinking?" But he didn't say any of those things to me, God love him.

Sunday morning Henry was doing the things that I interpret as revealing a need for sensory input: climbing on Bill; trying to put his fingers in Bill's mouth, ear and eye; tickling; just being rough.

So I tried again with the jumpy thing, this time with more success. We pretended that Henry was Darth Vader and I was Princess Leia and he was trying to "get" me/blast me. I would run around the jumpy thing and he would kind of chase me and then I would grab his arms and try to knock him down, throw him against the sides, etc. Henry didn't cry this time and he actually laughed and was proud when he could avoid being knocked down. "I am so strong!" he would shout.

Eventually Thomas got in too and they acted out some Star Wars scenes together.

Also Tommy would pretend to be injured, and then Henry would help him up. Since he's not allowed to pull Tommy up by the arm (see post back in November about nursemaid's elbow), Henry tried pulling Tommy up by the leg! Then I suggested that he grab him around the middle to pull him up.

Time will tell how much use we get out of this thing, but I am hopeful.

These are Henry's homework papers from last week. I'm not sure how well you'll be able to see them out there on the internet, but there is a whole lot of Henry handwriting on these pages!

He brought home a book about hibernation to read, and then was to complete these sheets. I was anticipating that he would dictate his answers and one of us would actually do the writing. But after one afternoon of Super Teenage Sister working with him, this is the result. He wrote every letter on his own, and did both sheets in one sitting.

Henry had enough good days in a row last week that he received a prize from his teacher on Friday. I'm not clear on the criteria for earning a prize- what constitutes a "good" day? And do you have to have a full week of "good" days to earn a prize? (Last week was a short week due to MLK day, but an admirable achievement, nonetheless.)

The prize was a small Fantastic Four puzzle. His other bottom tooth came out last week also, and his teacher found it by the computer and sent it home the next day. So at least I have one of his baby teeth to keep in my jewelry box forever.

Considering his great week, I was caught off-guard by what happened on Saturday. My parents came to visit, and I suggested we go to Henry's school and play on the playground. They had never seen his school, and I thought Henry might like to show them around.

I was way off with that one. Henry DID NOT want to go to his school AT ALL. He protested on our way out the door and all the way there. He protests lots of times, and if we just keep on moving he gets over it. But not this time. I even tried dragging him up on the "wobbly bridge" to play, but nothing would budge his mood. He kept pinching my arms, and a couple times my face. Finally I just sat down and squeezed him on my lap, rocking back and forth.

"It feels nervous," he said

"It makes you feel nervous to come to your playground?"

"Yes."

I can only surmise that the whole thing seemed wrong to him: going to his school when it wasn't a school day; bringing Grandma and Grandpa there, his little brother being there too...

I'm very happy that he came up with "it feels nervous." I hope he'll be able to build on this with time.

He pinched me quite a bit on Sunday also, but I think for a different reason. We went to watch Bill's team's basketball game. Henry seemed excited to be there and seemed to be enjoying himself. But he pinched my arms a lot. I am hypothesizing that he was feeling "nervous" in a different way- an excited way- and maybe the pinching helps release that energy? I wonder if I got him something else to squeeze if it would help.

He is really cute with the girls on Bill's team (6th graders). When he goes along to practice sometimes he runs laps with them! They all seem to really like him, and vice versa. Conversely, though, when one player's first-grader sister and her mom came over to introduce themselves to me, Henry didn't even give the girl a glance. When I tried to ask him about her, his only comment was, "there are 2 Graces" (in first grade). He seems to think it is so crazy that there are 2 girls with the same name. (This girl's name was not Grace, so I don't know what that had to do with anything? Maybe Henry likes one of the Graces.)

follow up

Henry's teacher called yesterday afternoon. "Henry has had a great day, but..."

When he grabbed his bowling ball and headed up to the lane, he slipped/tripped/stumbled and BONKED HIS NOSE on his bowling ball! Ouch!

As recently discussed, Henry doesn't seem to feel much pain (his teacher told me that they have noticed the same phenomenon), so his profusely bleeding nose did not slow him down. She said he just wanted to keep on bowling.

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We are having trouble fitting homework into Henry's routine. He gets home from school around 4. He often is then whisked off to swimming lessons, basketball practice, or the exercise place with Daddy. By the time I get home it's time to eat and then have some much-deserved down time with a movie or on the computer, maybe fit in a bath once in awhile before bed.

Last night I forced him to do some homework, and he suggested "first homework, then movie". So I agreed. He wrote his name on the page. The first question asked "What is today?"

He is well aware of what day it was (especially because it was a community trip day). But to spite me and his teacher, he took the pencil and wrote Noday. No day! You might make me do this @*$# homework, but you're not going to like my answers!
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Henry had a swimming lesson yesterday and I remembered that I never answered MOM-NOS's question about his swimming lessons a few posts back.

Henry takes swimming lessons through Easter Seals. I would highly recommend Easter Seals' many programs to any family with a special needs child. We found our way to Easter Seals the summer that Henry was almost 5. He was in a preschool class where he received itinerant (ie brief and sporadic) special needs services, provided through the school system (thus only during the school year). We knew that he could not spend the summer in that environment without ANY supports. So his special needs preschool teacher provided me with a few ideas for summer "camps"- one being Easter Seals.

They have an indoor therapeutic pool where the kids would swim as a class once a week. I inquired about swimming lessons, and he has been taking them ever since. So, yes, the teachers have experience in working with "disabled" kids of all kinds.

Have a good weekend. I am hoping to use the long weekend (I have the day off Monday) to get a decent photo of my kids. Wish me luck.

bear with me on several different subjects

Bill and I went on a date Saturday night. I had been complaining to a friend about how little time he and I get to spend alone together, and she gently suggested that we could go out and ask Kate to babysit. I'm sure she was thinking "you dummy- you have a teenager who lives in your home! Take advantage of that and ask her to babysit." That's not always as easy as it sounds, because Kate is often busy on weekend nights. But she didn't have plans last Saturday, and we had a movie gift card to spend...

We went to see Casino Royale, the new James Bond movie, and we loved it! I can't be sure if the movie was really that good, or it was just so exciting to be out in the world on a Saturday night that everything had a glow around it! The two beers I drank that night (one before the show and one after) tasted extra good too!

I haven't always been a James Bond fan- that has been cultivated over the years that I've known Bill. But on the rare occasion that we go out to a movie, superhero-type films are the only ones that appeal to me. Due to my highly emotional state, I never want to run the risk of seeing a show that will make me cry or be in any way traumatized. So it's James Bond or Spiderman. No chick flicks for me.
In case you're wondering, we both approve of the "new" James Bond- Daniel Craig. Bill thinks he's the best since Sean Connery. Bill also thinks I might like him a little TOO much. So I guess I won't download that Casino Royale screensaver :-)
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Henry's class is going on one of their monthly "community trips" today. (I'm not sure why they're called community trips vs. field trips?) Today they are going bowling and to a pizza place for lunch. Henry has been excited about it, but when he woke up this morning he said he didn't "feel like going bowling."
This happens most times that he is looking forward to doing something. When the time comes, he says he doesn't want to do it after all. I think he must feel too excited/anxious. I asked him if that was the case, and he said "I feel kind of anxious." Who knows if I am putting the right words in his mouth?
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I work for a large university which competed in the BCS championship game Monday night (college football, for any who aren't big sports fans). The whole town has been in a frenzy about it for 6 weeks. My husband has been listening to the marching band music in the car on his iPod and has Henry hooked on it. It's pretty cute to hear Henry singing along enthusiastically in his off-beat, off-key way.
When he woke up on Monday morning, Henry asked if we were going to THE GAME. "Oh no," I replied, "the game is really far away- in Phoenix Arizona. The girls in my office who are in the band are at the game, and my friend R (the director of my office). But we aren't going to the game. We can just watch it on TV."
Well, his note from his teacher that day said that he had a really rough day- kept talking about not going to the game! Poor Henry. Why did he think we would be attending the game?! We had gone to a women's basketball game the week before, so maybe that confused him.
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My frugality paid off for once: Kate's iPod screen has been damaged for months. The suggestion was made that we get her a new iPod for Christmas. But me, being cheap, thought I'd look into getting it repaired first.

I took it to the Apple store, and they told me to hurry up and send it in for repair, because we were days away from the end of our warranty. I requested a repair online, they sent me a box, and I sent the iPod off. I was sure they would call and grill me about what happened to it. Or, they would repair it and bill me $400. But you'll never believe what happened:

I sent the machine in last Thursday- they would have received it on Friday. On Monday there was a note on the office door that I had missed a delivery on Saturday and it would be attempted again that day. It was a replacement iPod!!!! I love Apple!

outsmarted again

Yesterday morning while we were waiting for the school bus and watching Playhouse Disney, Henry told me "I like Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse." I already knew this, of course, but I saw the comment as my golden opportunity to promote what they've been doing over at the NOS house.

"You know what, Henry? My friend Bud, he likes Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too. He wanted a Mickey Mouse clubhouse toy, and decided to try to earn one with a sticker chart."

Henry was rapt. Smiling and hanging on every word. It was working...

"Bud doesn't like vegetables either. When he eats them, he goes 'aaack aack (said as I made a gagging face)', just like you! Actually, he's a lot like you- that's why his mom and I are friends. So now, every time he eats a bite of a vegetable, he gets a sticker on his chart! And once his chart is filled up. . . he gets the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy!"

I was doing a great job of selling this idea! He was buying it, hook, line, and sinker.

"So you could try that, Henry. If there was a toy you wanted..."

Henry interrupted: "or a movie or a book..."

"Right. If you wanted a toy or a movie or a book, we could have a sticker chart! And every time you ate a vegetable, you would get a sticker."

Henry summarized: "So every time I ate a tomato, I would get a sticker!"

Mom furiously tries to salvage this deal: "oh, right, ummm, I forgot how much you like tomatoes. And those, are, umm, vegetables. Errrr..."

Luckily I was saved by the school bus. If he remembers this conversation, he'll have me feeding him 37 tomatoes at one meal and then buying him a present.

pain and perseveration

Henry has always had unusual reactions to pain. Part of this, of course, can be attributed to his verbal difficulties. Throughout all his many ear infections, he has never been able to say that his "ear hurt". I have had to read the body language- uncontrollable shivers in the middle of the night- to surmise what was going on.

But beyond the language issue, I think something else is going on here- something neurological? His reactions to pain are usually inappropriate. Often an under-reaction, but sometimes an over-reaction. And it's hard to say which one frightens me more.

We have had to call the emergency squad twice for Henry. Both times he had fallen, hit his head, and appeared to lose consciousness. Both times he regained consciousness while the medics were at our home, and they determined that he was fine. There have been other similar instances when we did not call 911. Not only did he lose consciousness briefly in all these cases, but he appeared to be having a seizure- his eyes rolled back and his body became stiff. It was as if he would cry, hold his breath, and then have this seizure.

As you're reading this, you are probably thinking "my God- why didn't you have some tests run?!" I'm actually wondering that myself. But, you know, we had him examined by the pediatrician after the instances, and were told that this is a common "fainting" type reaction.

I actually have had similar experiences myself- the most recent one being when I was in labor with Tommy and they tipped the examining table back too far and I passed out. I forget the term my OB used, I think it started with a V. Someone with medical knowledge help me out...
**UPDATE: Thanks to the anonymous comment, I found this on the Mayo Clinic site about Vasovagal Syncope (fainting). So it seems like this is just the medical term for random fainting that occurs from fright and various other simulii!**

It has been a few years since the last time this happened to Henry, so perhaps it was something his nervous system "grew out of."

But yesterday, he had a different type of reaction to pain. He and Tommy were fighting/wresting- whatever you call it that brothers do. (It's fighting, but they both kind of like it.) I walked into the room just in time to see Henry bapping Thomas in the face with his paperback book, and I broke up the fight. Henry stood there and looked at me for a minute, then started to cry and SCREAMED the loudest, angriest scream I have ever heard from him.

Well, I have heard the same scream and seen the same look once before: this summer at mom and dad's house when Henry pulled their dog's tail. The dog nipped at him, Henry pulled back his hand and looked surprised, but didn't cry out. (So I didn't think he was hurt.) I started to scold him for pulling the dog's tail, and that's when he gave me this same hurt, angry scream. The dog had actually nipped his finger.

So yesterday when it happened, I knew immediately Henry must have been hurt. I tried to ask him what happened, but he was so angry he just hit at me and yelled. But I saw a wet spot on his sleeve and knew that Thomas must have bitten his arm.

It wasn't until hours later that Henry would let me look at his arm and, sure enough, there was a bruise and bit of broken skin in the form of tooth marks.

We wonder if, because he does have such a seemingly high pain tolerance, when something really does hurt it shocks him so much that he has this extreme reaction.
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Yesterday (the last day of winter break) we went shopping to spend the money and gift cards the kids had received for Christmas. We went to Toys R Us and Target. After wandering all the toy aisles, and much deliberation, do you know what Henry picked out to buy?

Star Wars, episodes IV, V, and VI, on DVD.

We already have those movies at home.

But I guess, if you REALLY love something, what could be better than having TWO of that something?

He ate dinner with the DVDs and took them to bed with him.

Can the rest of us say that we are THAT content with our Christmas gifts?