Tuesday, September 08, 2009

So we've been kindergarten parents for not quite 2 weeks now. The boys and I have a routine in the morning: we hustle out the door around 8, get to Henry's bus stop by 8:10, drive over to Tommy's school, cross the street with the crossing guards, and wait outside with the milling elementary school kids for the bell to ring at 8:25.

We all swarm inside, Tommy holding my hand, and head first to the bathroom. Just one last effort to help him get through the day without any interruptions or accidents, if you know what I mean.

Bill is coaching Tommy's soccer team, which is made up of other kindergarteners. So we're learning people's names, learning which parents go with which kids, maybe forming some initial impressions of which parents we like and which ones we don't, which kids we like and which ones we don't. (Ha ha ha- that's just a joke- we like everyone, of course.)

As I was driving to work today (all alone in the car after all these years of having a buddy or two in the back seat, sniff sniff), I realized that I was really geekily excited about getting to know other parents and making friends. I stepped back and wondered why am I being such a dork about this?

But then I answered my own question: this is the first time I've felt really comfortable as a parent- the first time I've felt in my element. I mean, now I am also in my element with special needs education. but when Henry was in kindergarten? We were shuttled around from placement to placement and I just felt like I was wrapping my arms around my kid and rolling with the tide. A far cry from holding his hand and leading him up the stairs and into the potty.

And even before that, Kate-the first kid I parented- didn't live with us in kindergarten. She did for first grade, but at that time I was the 26-year-old-girlfriend-of-a-first-grader's-parent. I performed a lot of parental duties, but I didn't feel eligible to call myself a parent, to talk to the other parents about parental stuff.

It was all in my head, of course, all this fitting in or not fitting in. But nevertheless it felt real. And now it feels real to look around and think I finally do fit in a little bit. 13 years after attending my first meet-the-teacher night.