My 3-year-old always seems to be dragging me into his future. When I want him to still be watching Teletubbies, he's watching the Power Rangers. When I want him to hold my hand, he wants to do it himself.
It has never been so with Henry. He's always been happy with the status quo and usually been reluctant to try something new. That, combined with his developmental delays, has made me shield my eyes from the future in many respects. I don't know when he'll learn to ride a bike, for example, and (this is a secret) I don't really care that much. I'll keep on reading him books forever if he wants...
Except, wait, all of a sudden he knows how to read!
For much of preschool and kindergarten, I was just trying NOT to think about "what if he gets kicked out of this class for being aggressive". I couldn't afford to think much about what the next 13 years of school would bring.
It kind of feels like I've been holding my breath for a looooooong time. And now, suprisingly, I'm breathing a little more again. The past couple weeks these strange thoughts have popped into my head- like I should teach Henry how to answer the phone. Or maybe we'll get him a cell phone when he's a little older for if he's at home by himself. Or I should give Henry some chores to do and an allowance so that he can learn about money and buy himself a new dvd or book once in awhile.
That's the kind of stuff a parent thinks about with a regular old 7.5 year old. And here I am, thinking it. Cool.
I talked with his teacher yesterday about IEP goals. This is the most communication I've ever had about goals, and it feels wonderful. Every other IEP meeting seemed like it came out of nowhere and I was ill-prepared. I kind of felt like I was going there so they could tell me about my kid. So then when everyone turned to me and asked me MY goals for Henry, I was like uhhhhh, errrrr, I want him to like school and make friends. Brilliant, mom.
So anyway, I feel much more like this is a team effort now and it's nice. I will share the goals when they are written down, but in general we talked about the following:
-working on other leisure skills and activities. Mrs. C said that during leisure time Henry always chooses a book, puzzle, or computer. She would like to see him choose to play a game with someone once in awhile
-raising his hand and waiting his turn to speak. I brought this up because lately I notice him interrupting a lot. I think he has always done it, but we have all been conditioned to think everyone stop what you're doing- Henry is talking. All eyes must be on him. It can't be that way for the rest of his life!
(Side note: I am becoming more aware of this as I try to assess what effect having a "disabled" brother might have on Thomas. When we were at Tommy's 3-year checkup, Henry kept wanting to talk to the doctor- show him his books and papers, etc. I told him that Tommy was talking to the doctor and Henry would have to wait his turn. But Henry is not used to hearing that.)
-some basic fine motor skills that still need work: buttoning, snapping, zipping, squeezing glue
-conversation skills/how to greet his peers and chat with them. Mrs. C told me that she realized that Henry would say "I miss my mommy" as a sort of conversation-starter with adults! She couldn't figure out why he would say it when a new person came into the room, but then figured out that it was a way to break the ice!
-she said that Henry is at (or above) grade level for his academic skills, so those do not need to be part of the IEP.
He will still "tantrum" (her word) on occasion and refuse to do work somewhat frequently. And she would like to see him get away from needing a reward for everything; like he often is bribed to do his independent work with the promise of earning computer time, etc. But I think back to where we were a year ago- don't even want to think about 2 years ago- and he has progressed 100%.
So check with me in a year and he'll probably be calling me on the phone to ask when I can take him to spend his allowance!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
happy birthday sweet darlin'
Dear Thomas,
Yesterday was your third birthday- you are sure becoming a big boy. You are hoping that with this birthday you will be as big as your brother Henry and your friends Graham and Mitchell. I hate to tell you that those boys all keep getting older too, and you will never catch them!
Two was a very fun year, and I think three will be even better. This year you learned to use the potty, learned to do a forward roll in gymnastics, started sleeping in a big boy bed, and did a lot of superhero play fighting.
You are becoming very aware of emotions and are learning to communicate your feelings in ways other than screaming and crying (although you still do your fair share of that; you're only 3 after all). You often surprise me by saying "mommy, are you getting a little bit mad?" I don't expect you to read my body language and sighs so well (the other people in the family often don't!) But of course, it's to your benefit to detect when I am grumpy and try to make me happy instead.
You are quite a good talker- so much so that I have to remind you that certain other children aren't babies; they are actually your age, but just can't speak as well as you can! You do get hung up on particularly tough words, like accident and hospital, but don't we all?
You currently like to wear shorts at all times (earlier in the year it was costumes) and change your clothes several times a day. Wearing shorts is actually the privilege that I take away from you when you need to be disciplined. What will I do for a threat in the summer?
You are just a really great kid. I worry a lot about comparing you and your brother, but I do want to say that, at least partially because of him, I find so much joy in your imagination and your easy confidence. And your measly tantrums are a breeze- I can handle them with one hand behind my back. (Or one hand holding on to your brother.)
I think you have been really good for him; one day last week I went in to wake him up and found him in bed with you! And I delight in hearing your little conversations in the back seat: "Tommy, can I please look at that?" "OK Henry, but don't mess it up." "OK, I won't. Thank you Tommy." "You're weltome."
This is one of your favorite outfits of all time. The Halloween shirt says "Here Comes Trouble". You think the monsters on it are superheroes, I guess because they are wearing capes.
Yesterday you received a few different kinds of blasters, a tool belt, and some play-dough, among other gifts. And since there was no mail delivery yesterday, I suspect you'll get more in the mail as the week goes on.
We took Spiderman stickers to gymnastics class last night too. What a fun day!
You make me feel very happy Thomas. I tell you that a lot, but I don't want you to ever forget it.
Love,
Mommy
Yesterday was your third birthday- you are sure becoming a big boy. You are hoping that with this birthday you will be as big as your brother Henry and your friends Graham and Mitchell. I hate to tell you that those boys all keep getting older too, and you will never catch them!
Two was a very fun year, and I think three will be even better. This year you learned to use the potty, learned to do a forward roll in gymnastics, started sleeping in a big boy bed, and did a lot of superhero play fighting.
You are becoming very aware of emotions and are learning to communicate your feelings in ways other than screaming and crying (although you still do your fair share of that; you're only 3 after all). You often surprise me by saying "mommy, are you getting a little bit mad?" I don't expect you to read my body language and sighs so well (the other people in the family often don't!) But of course, it's to your benefit to detect when I am grumpy and try to make me happy instead.
You are quite a good talker- so much so that I have to remind you that certain other children aren't babies; they are actually your age, but just can't speak as well as you can! You do get hung up on particularly tough words, like accident and hospital, but don't we all?You currently like to wear shorts at all times (earlier in the year it was costumes) and change your clothes several times a day. Wearing shorts is actually the privilege that I take away from you when you need to be disciplined. What will I do for a threat in the summer?
You are just a really great kid. I worry a lot about comparing you and your brother, but I do want to say that, at least partially because of him, I find so much joy in your imagination and your easy confidence. And your measly tantrums are a breeze- I can handle them with one hand behind my back. (Or one hand holding on to your brother.)I think you have been really good for him; one day last week I went in to wake him up and found him in bed with you! And I delight in hearing your little conversations in the back seat: "Tommy, can I please look at that?" "OK Henry, but don't mess it up." "OK, I won't. Thank you Tommy." "You're weltome."
This is one of your favorite outfits of all time. The Halloween shirt says "Here Comes Trouble". You think the monsters on it are superheroes, I guess because they are wearing capes.
Yesterday you received a few different kinds of blasters, a tool belt, and some play-dough, among other gifts. And since there was no mail delivery yesterday, I suspect you'll get more in the mail as the week goes on.We took Spiderman stickers to gymnastics class last night too. What a fun day!
You make me feel very happy Thomas. I tell you that a lot, but I don't want you to ever forget it.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, February 16, 2007
Jack Frost is my favorite Valentine
It's been a weird couple of weeks. That Sunday after we went to Monsters Inc., Henry had a fever and no appetite. So I planned to take Monday off and take him to the doctor. (School ended up being cancelled on Monday and Tuesday due to the cold.)
Henry had Scarlet Fever which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a variation of Strep that comes with a rash. He started the antibiotic on Monday but really didn't start feeling better until Friday! His nose and eyes were runny and his face was all red from the rash- wow- he was a mess.
Then this past week we had some more severe weather. School was cancelled for the kids and even the university where I work was closed on Wednesday!! Even though I had been home quite a bit the week before, it is not fun to be home with a sick kid. So having a day off in the middle of this week was a real treat.
Speaking of treats, Thomas and I started the day off by making brownies in a heart-shaped pan:
Here was the pretty view through the kitchen window:
Henry had Scarlet Fever which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a variation of Strep that comes with a rash. He started the antibiotic on Monday but really didn't start feeling better until Friday! His nose and eyes were runny and his face was all red from the rash- wow- he was a mess.
Then this past week we had some more severe weather. School was cancelled for the kids and even the university where I work was closed on Wednesday!! Even though I had been home quite a bit the week before, it is not fun to be home with a sick kid. So having a day off in the middle of this week was a real treat.
Speaking of treats, Thomas and I started the day off by making brownies in a heart-shaped pan:
Here was the pretty view through the kitchen window:
Later that morning we went outside to shovel and play in the snow. Several inches had fallen, then a layer of ice, and then more snow. So a little one like Thomas could just walk on top of the icy layer. It was a challenge to shovel because I had to chop up the ice first with the edge of the shovel. But I haven't worked out in weeks (months?) so I kind of enjoyed the exertion and the fresh air.
I was slightly discouraged that Henry didn't want to come out and play. The week before, when he was sick, he had talked about wanting to play in the snow. But it seems that for a lot of these kids talking about wanting to do something and actually wanting to do it are two different things. And it didn't help that I had turned off his DVD to make him get bundled up and come outside. I know that was a huge mistake, but I didn't want to sit around for another hour until the DVD was over...
So Henry came outside and cried and begged to go back in until I let him. Sigh.
Aside from that incident, it really was a nice day.
I was slightly discouraged that Henry didn't want to come out and play. The week before, when he was sick, he had talked about wanting to play in the snow. But it seems that for a lot of these kids talking about wanting to do something and actually wanting to do it are two different things. And it didn't help that I had turned off his DVD to make him get bundled up and come outside. I know that was a huge mistake, but I didn't want to sit around for another hour until the DVD was over...So Henry came outside and cried and begged to go back in until I let him. Sigh.
Aside from that incident, it really was a nice day.
The layer of ice made everything sparkle. The snow shushed all the sounds of the busy street near us, and there weren't many cars out anyway, so I could really hear the creaking of those ice-covered tree branches.
I also talked to one of my brothers that day (the one who lives near DC)- it turned out that he had a snow day too! Nice of mother nature to give us a day off, wasn't it?
I was supposed to have my conference with Henry's teacher that day, but now it looks like we will have a phone conference instead. I will report about that next week, as well as a certain someone's THIRD birthday...
I also talked to one of my brothers that day (the one who lives near DC)- it turned out that he had a snow day too! Nice of mother nature to give us a day off, wasn't it?
I was supposed to have my conference with Henry's teacher that day, but now it looks like we will have a phone conference instead. I will report about that next week, as well as a certain someone's THIRD birthday...
Thursday, February 08, 2007
different-ness
When I found out that my brother was gay, my first emotion was worry. Because I have this perverse need to read about every bad thing that happens in the news, my first thought was that my sweet baby brother would get beat up by some psychotic homophobes and left to die in the cold somewhere.
My second thought was a frustration that now his homosexuality would define him. That he would be "my gay brother", rather than just my brother. And that anytime I was in a situation where someone made a homophobic comment or joke, that I would need to stand up and proclaim "hey- my brother is gay! Take that back!" (This is embarrassing to admit. I should have been doing that all along anyway...)
When my son was diagnosed with autism, my first gut reactions were much the same. I was worried about how others would see my child and even how I would see my child- through this lens of autism. I feared that this "difference" would open up new dangers to Henry, not to mention new obstacles.
Would he always be "my autistic son", Kate's "autistic brother"? Would I have to get on my soapbox all day long and educate people about autism? Would Henry be just a one-dimensional autistic kid? Would anyone look past that and give him a chance to show them his personality?
I'd like to say that I overcame those feelings and worries. But I think what I really did was just smother them with our day-to-day life. The people around me all know about Henry, and the ones who don't are polite enough grown-ups that when it comes up in conversation they just sort of say "oh?" in a surprised way and usually don't ask many questions.
We quickly discovered so many people with huge hearts who choose to work with disabled kids and make a difference in their lives- most of the time Henry and I are both in a warm cocoon of understanding folks who make us feel safe.
But...
Saturday night we went to a get-together at a friend's house. Ironically, this is the same house we visited back in the summer (I can't find the post now, for the life of me, but) at that time I was so pleased with how easy it was to hang out with friends, and how well Henry did.
This time it was different. These friends have 2 kids- ages 7 and 9. Quite a few of their neighbor friends were over. It being SO COLD, the kids were inside, but they were being really wild, really rough and really loud down in the lower level playroom.
Henry found a DVD he wanted to watch (Star Wars) and settled in on the couch with about 10 other DVD boxes to look at/hold on to. I took Thomas upstairs with some Lincoln Logs, and when I came back downstairs I found a group of boys standing around Henry. One of them was saying "take one from him and see what he does". One boy snatched a DVD out of Henry's hands, and the others laughed.
Yeah.
I marched over, grabbed the DVD back from the kid, and said something like "don't do that- he doesn't like it." My head was foggy and I felt like I might either cry or throw up. Needless to say, I pretty much stayed by Henry's side the rest of the night. I frankly don't think that he thought twice about those kids or what they did. But I'm having a hard time getting past it.
One of the boys said something like "I wanted to look at one of those and he grabbed it from me." So I suppose that's how it started- one of the boys wanted to look at the DVDs and Henry didn't let them. Then they figured out that he was different and it would be fun to mess with him...
We had a busy day that day. I had taken the boys to see Disney on Ice that morning, along with my friend and her daughter. I was feeling great because Henry did so well there. Aside from covering his ears because the sound was too loud, he was happy and engaged the whole time. He said "this place is great!" and thanked me for taking him.
So this incident with the kids was like a slap in the face. It made me realize that these boys are Henry's age- this is how typical 1st grade boys act. Typical 1st grade boys are way too cool for Disney on Ice. I mean, Bill said it made him glad that Henry isn't "typical"- those kids were too obnoxious and out of control! But I like to live in a fantasy world where, even though my child is different, he will never be teased or singled out. Everyone will be gentle with him and try to engage in his interests.
To get back to the point I made in the beginning... most of the time I can feel like we are just an ordinary family. But what happened on Saturday makes me feel like we are "the family with an autistic kid." I am the mom who sits down in the playroom while the rest of the moms are drinking wine upstairs. Autism does define us. And it does define how others (especially other children) may view my child. I will always need to be on guard, especially in unusual situations. And I guess I will need to prepare Henry for what to do in those situations. But I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to hold him on my lap forever and tell those other kids to go sit down and shut up.
To be fair, things calmed down later in the evening (one really wild boy went home) and I did sit with the other women for a bit. They were talking about tv shows I don't watch, and I kind of thought that I enjoy my son's company just as much on a Saturday night.
Here are a few pictures from the Disney on Ice outing. This first one was taken in the car on the way there. Tommy said "Henry is holding my hand" and I was like "in a nice way?!" So I had to take a picture of it. He's never done that before!
We had front-row seats:
Henry reading his program:
Covering his ears:
I don't really know why I am making this connection today, between my brother and my son, and my reaction to their different-ness. I just don't want anyone I love to be in a vulnerable position. Ever. Dream on, eh?
My second thought was a frustration that now his homosexuality would define him. That he would be "my gay brother", rather than just my brother. And that anytime I was in a situation where someone made a homophobic comment or joke, that I would need to stand up and proclaim "hey- my brother is gay! Take that back!" (This is embarrassing to admit. I should have been doing that all along anyway...)
When my son was diagnosed with autism, my first gut reactions were much the same. I was worried about how others would see my child and even how I would see my child- through this lens of autism. I feared that this "difference" would open up new dangers to Henry, not to mention new obstacles.
Would he always be "my autistic son", Kate's "autistic brother"? Would I have to get on my soapbox all day long and educate people about autism? Would Henry be just a one-dimensional autistic kid? Would anyone look past that and give him a chance to show them his personality?
I'd like to say that I overcame those feelings and worries. But I think what I really did was just smother them with our day-to-day life. The people around me all know about Henry, and the ones who don't are polite enough grown-ups that when it comes up in conversation they just sort of say "oh?" in a surprised way and usually don't ask many questions.
We quickly discovered so many people with huge hearts who choose to work with disabled kids and make a difference in their lives- most of the time Henry and I are both in a warm cocoon of understanding folks who make us feel safe.
But...
Saturday night we went to a get-together at a friend's house. Ironically, this is the same house we visited back in the summer (I can't find the post now, for the life of me, but) at that time I was so pleased with how easy it was to hang out with friends, and how well Henry did.
This time it was different. These friends have 2 kids- ages 7 and 9. Quite a few of their neighbor friends were over. It being SO COLD, the kids were inside, but they were being really wild, really rough and really loud down in the lower level playroom.
Henry found a DVD he wanted to watch (Star Wars) and settled in on the couch with about 10 other DVD boxes to look at/hold on to. I took Thomas upstairs with some Lincoln Logs, and when I came back downstairs I found a group of boys standing around Henry. One of them was saying "take one from him and see what he does". One boy snatched a DVD out of Henry's hands, and the others laughed.
Yeah.
I marched over, grabbed the DVD back from the kid, and said something like "don't do that- he doesn't like it." My head was foggy and I felt like I might either cry or throw up. Needless to say, I pretty much stayed by Henry's side the rest of the night. I frankly don't think that he thought twice about those kids or what they did. But I'm having a hard time getting past it.
One of the boys said something like "I wanted to look at one of those and he grabbed it from me." So I suppose that's how it started- one of the boys wanted to look at the DVDs and Henry didn't let them. Then they figured out that he was different and it would be fun to mess with him...
We had a busy day that day. I had taken the boys to see Disney on Ice that morning, along with my friend and her daughter. I was feeling great because Henry did so well there. Aside from covering his ears because the sound was too loud, he was happy and engaged the whole time. He said "this place is great!" and thanked me for taking him.
So this incident with the kids was like a slap in the face. It made me realize that these boys are Henry's age- this is how typical 1st grade boys act. Typical 1st grade boys are way too cool for Disney on Ice. I mean, Bill said it made him glad that Henry isn't "typical"- those kids were too obnoxious and out of control! But I like to live in a fantasy world where, even though my child is different, he will never be teased or singled out. Everyone will be gentle with him and try to engage in his interests.
To get back to the point I made in the beginning... most of the time I can feel like we are just an ordinary family. But what happened on Saturday makes me feel like we are "the family with an autistic kid." I am the mom who sits down in the playroom while the rest of the moms are drinking wine upstairs. Autism does define us. And it does define how others (especially other children) may view my child. I will always need to be on guard, especially in unusual situations. And I guess I will need to prepare Henry for what to do in those situations. But I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to hold him on my lap forever and tell those other kids to go sit down and shut up.
To be fair, things calmed down later in the evening (one really wild boy went home) and I did sit with the other women for a bit. They were talking about tv shows I don't watch, and I kind of thought that I enjoy my son's company just as much on a Saturday night.
Here are a few pictures from the Disney on Ice outing. This first one was taken in the car on the way there. Tommy said "Henry is holding my hand" and I was like "in a nice way?!" So I had to take a picture of it. He's never done that before!
We had front-row seats: 
Henry reading his program:
Covering his ears:
I don't really know why I am making this connection today, between my brother and my son, and my reaction to their different-ness. I just don't want anyone I love to be in a vulnerable position. Ever. Dream on, eh? Friday, February 02, 2007
one of those bragging posts
Last night Henry tread water in the deep end while his teacher counted to twenty.
Last week he learned to sit-dive.
He has been attending Spanish class with the other first graders and is doing very well, according to his teacher.
One night this week he had left a Spiderman book open on the floor to the Doc Ock page. (He leaves a trail of papers and magazines and books that are open to particular pages that he likes.) Thomas stopped to pick it up and Henry ran right over to stop him. "Henry," I said, "you weren't looking at that book anymore. Can you please let your brother look at it for awhile?" (This is the kind of request that I've uttered fruitlessly 100 times before.) But this time, to my shock, Henry said "ok", and handed the book over.
So many times this week he has said "thank you mommy" without being prompted. And "have a good day Kate" when we drop her off at school, also unprompted. (There were times earlier in the year when I tried to prompt him to say "have a good day" and he would shout "HAVE A BAD DAY KATE!" instead.)
This morning he announced "it's February 2nd. It's Groundhog Day. (And then in a sweet soft voice) Happy Groundhog Day mommy."
Kate has 2 study halls this semester (didn't have any last semester). So she decided to help in Henry's class a couple days a week and make it an independent study project. She started this week and it's going great. She has also been helping him with his homework after school and, by all accounts, is able to get him to do lots of things that the rest of us can't.
She helped Bill coach his 6th graders Wednesday night too.
Happy Groundhog Day everyone!
Last week he learned to sit-dive.
He has been attending Spanish class with the other first graders and is doing very well, according to his teacher.
One night this week he had left a Spiderman book open on the floor to the Doc Ock page. (He leaves a trail of papers and magazines and books that are open to particular pages that he likes.) Thomas stopped to pick it up and Henry ran right over to stop him. "Henry," I said, "you weren't looking at that book anymore. Can you please let your brother look at it for awhile?" (This is the kind of request that I've uttered fruitlessly 100 times before.) But this time, to my shock, Henry said "ok", and handed the book over.
So many times this week he has said "thank you mommy" without being prompted. And "have a good day Kate" when we drop her off at school, also unprompted. (There were times earlier in the year when I tried to prompt him to say "have a good day" and he would shout "HAVE A BAD DAY KATE!" instead.)
This morning he announced "it's February 2nd. It's Groundhog Day. (And then in a sweet soft voice) Happy Groundhog Day mommy."
Kate has 2 study halls this semester (didn't have any last semester). So she decided to help in Henry's class a couple days a week and make it an independent study project. She started this week and it's going great. She has also been helping him with his homework after school and, by all accounts, is able to get him to do lots of things that the rest of us can't.
She helped Bill coach his 6th graders Wednesday night too.
Happy Groundhog Day everyone!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Henry's teacher sent a note home- it's time to start thinking about our goals for next year's IEP. She also sent home his progress report. As I read it ("Henry often initiates play on the playground, but most of his classroom activities are solitary."), I found myself thinking that I really couldn't care less whether or not he invites a friend to do a puzzle with him, or how many turns he will take while playing with a friend before a teacher has to prompt him.
I need some help thinking about my goals for Henry. The goals on this IEP have been handed down and modified since he was 4 years old and in preschool. It has taken us that long to get him comfortable with using scissors and taking turns with friends. They were important goals at the time, I guess, but I am really tired of reading about them, and I would think his teachers are tired of working on them! Well, I suppose that's their job. Maybe someone who's a teacher could weigh in on this?
I just find it really hard to pin this down. My goals for Henry are the same as my goals/hopes for my other children: that he enjoy school; continue learning; be/feel safe, loved, understood and respected; be respectful of others.
I don't really care if he finds a "best friend" or learns to hit a home run. And some of the things I would like to get him to do: eat vegetables and use utensils, aren't things that can easily be worked on at school.
Anyone have any suggestions?
(And don't forget to read the post below with lots of pictures.)
I need some help thinking about my goals for Henry. The goals on this IEP have been handed down and modified since he was 4 years old and in preschool. It has taken us that long to get him comfortable with using scissors and taking turns with friends. They were important goals at the time, I guess, but I am really tired of reading about them, and I would think his teachers are tired of working on them! Well, I suppose that's their job. Maybe someone who's a teacher could weigh in on this?
I just find it really hard to pin this down. My goals for Henry are the same as my goals/hopes for my other children: that he enjoy school; continue learning; be/feel safe, loved, understood and respected; be respectful of others.
I don't really care if he finds a "best friend" or learns to hit a home run. And some of the things I would like to get him to do: eat vegetables and use utensils, aren't things that can easily be worked on at school.
Anyone have any suggestions?
(And don't forget to read the post below with lots of pictures.)
indoor exercise
Let's start off with a few pictures from Thomas' gymnastics class last night. Here are the kids warming up:
At the end of the warmup they do a little dance to the music from the Penguin movie Happy Feet. Here Tommy is turning in a circle doing a penguin walk. He takes this very seriously and is very good at it!
Here he is walking on a low soft balance beam. They would then go on to the next wedge and do a forward roll. Then...
Swing out over "the pit" and drop in!
Henry HATED this thing. He hated the noise it makes and he hated having to get off the computer to jump in it. I picked him up (not easy when he is struggling) and threw him into it and tried to make him jump. He cried and scratched and clawed at me, leaving red scratch marks on my chest.
I know that my husband was thinking "Hello? This is your son, Henry. Maybe you have forgotten everything you've ever known about him, but he doesn't like any of the things you are doing right now. What the hell are you thinking?" But he didn't say any of those things to me, God love him.
Sunday morning Henry was doing the things that I interpret as revealing a need for sensory input: climbing on Bill; trying to put his fingers in Bill's mouth, ear and eye; tickling; just being rough.
So I tried again with the jumpy thing, this time with more success. We pretended that Henry was Darth Vader and I was Princess Leia and he was trying to "get" me/blast me. I would run around the jumpy thing and he would kind of chase me and then I would grab his arms and try to knock him down, throw him against the sides, etc. Henry didn't cry this time and he actually laughed and was proud when he could avoid being knocked down. "I am so strong!" he would shout.
Eventually Thomas got in too and they acted out some Star Wars scenes together.
Also Tommy would pretend to be injured, and then Henry would help him up. Since he's not allowed to pull Tommy up by the arm (see post back in November about nursemaid's elbow), Henry tried pulling Tommy up by the leg! Then I suggested that he grab him around the middle to pull him up.
Time will tell how much use we get out of this thing, but I am hopeful.
At the end of the warmup they do a little dance to the music from the Penguin movie Happy Feet. Here Tommy is turning in a circle doing a penguin walk. He takes this very seriously and is very good at it!
Here he is walking on a low soft balance beam. They would then go on to the next wedge and do a forward roll. Then...
Swing out over "the pit" and drop in!
I have been wondering/worrying about Henry's sensory needs and his lack of interest in most types of exercise (aside from swimming and wrestling). (We tried the above gymnastics class with him and he hated it.) About a year ago I had looked into getting some kind of jumping apparatus for inside, but they seemed too expensive and impractical.
A few weeks ago when I arrived to pick up Tommy from his sitter's home, I found the kids jumping in this thing in her basement. It's kept inflated by a fan (like those inflatable seasonal things people put out in front of their houses), and so collapses when not being used. I expressed my interest and asked how much it had cost (I guessed $200, but it was only $115). L said that she was disappointed in the size, and had found a larger one that she might order if I would like to buy this smaller one.
I said that I would discuss it with my husband first. I did, and he thought the idea was crazy, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Saturday morning I cleared a spot in the basement between the furnace, water heater, stairs, and laundry room.
(I shouldn't even post these pictures because it shows our messy crowded basement to the whole world. This is the storage part of the basement. There is also a little corner room with the computer, a laundry room and another room with a couch and tv, etc.)
A few weeks ago when I arrived to pick up Tommy from his sitter's home, I found the kids jumping in this thing in her basement. It's kept inflated by a fan (like those inflatable seasonal things people put out in front of their houses), and so collapses when not being used. I expressed my interest and asked how much it had cost (I guessed $200, but it was only $115). L said that she was disappointed in the size, and had found a larger one that she might order if I would like to buy this smaller one.
I said that I would discuss it with my husband first. I did, and he thought the idea was crazy, but I went ahead and bought it anyway. Saturday morning I cleared a spot in the basement between the furnace, water heater, stairs, and laundry room.
(I shouldn't even post these pictures because it shows our messy crowded basement to the whole world. This is the storage part of the basement. There is also a little corner room with the computer, a laundry room and another room with a couch and tv, etc.)
Henry HATED this thing. He hated the noise it makes and he hated having to get off the computer to jump in it. I picked him up (not easy when he is struggling) and threw him into it and tried to make him jump. He cried and scratched and clawed at me, leaving red scratch marks on my chest.
I know that my husband was thinking "Hello? This is your son, Henry. Maybe you have forgotten everything you've ever known about him, but he doesn't like any of the things you are doing right now. What the hell are you thinking?" But he didn't say any of those things to me, God love him.
Sunday morning Henry was doing the things that I interpret as revealing a need for sensory input: climbing on Bill; trying to put his fingers in Bill's mouth, ear and eye; tickling; just being rough.
So I tried again with the jumpy thing, this time with more success. We pretended that Henry was Darth Vader and I was Princess Leia and he was trying to "get" me/blast me. I would run around the jumpy thing and he would kind of chase me and then I would grab his arms and try to knock him down, throw him against the sides, etc. Henry didn't cry this time and he actually laughed and was proud when he could avoid being knocked down. "I am so strong!" he would shout.
Eventually Thomas got in too and they acted out some Star Wars scenes together.
Also Tommy would pretend to be injured, and then Henry would help him up. Since he's not allowed to pull Tommy up by the arm (see post back in November about nursemaid's elbow), Henry tried pulling Tommy up by the leg! Then I suggested that he grab him around the middle to pull him up. 
Time will tell how much use we get out of this thing, but I am hopeful.Monday, January 22, 2007
These are Henry's homework papers from last week. I'm not sure how well you'll be able to see them out there on the internet, but there is a whole lot of Henry handwriting on these pages!
He brought home a book about hibernation to read, and then was to complete these sheets. I was anticipating that he would dictate his answers and one of us would actually do the writing. But after one afternoon of Super Teenage Sister working with him, this is the result. He wrote every letter on his own, and did both sheets in one sitting.
Henry had enough good days in a row last week that he received a prize from his teacher on Friday. I'm not clear on the criteria for earning a prize- what constitutes a "good" day? And do you have to have a full week of "good" days to earn a prize? (Last week was a short week due to MLK day, but an admirable achievement, nonetheless.)
The prize was a small Fantastic Four puzzle. His other bottom tooth came out last week also, and his teacher found it by the computer and sent it home the next day. So at least I have one of his baby teeth to keep in my jewelry box forever.
Considering his great week, I was caught off-guard by what happened on Saturday. My parents came to visit, and I suggested we go to Henry's school and play on the playground. They had never seen his school, and I thought Henry might like to show them around.
I was way off with that one. Henry DID NOT want to go to his school AT ALL. He protested on our way out the door and all the way there. He protests lots of times, and if we just keep on moving he gets over it. But not this time. I even tried dragging him up on the "wobbly bridge" to play, but nothing would budge his mood. He kept pinching my arms, and a couple times my face. Finally I just sat down and squeezed him on my lap, rocking back and forth.
"It feels nervous," he said
"It makes you feel nervous to come to your playground?"
"Yes."
I can only surmise that the whole thing seemed wrong to him: going to his school when it wasn't a school day; bringing Grandma and Grandpa there, his little brother being there too...
I'm very happy that he came up with "it feels nervous." I hope he'll be able to build on this with time.
He pinched me quite a bit on Sunday also, but I think for a different reason. We went to watch Bill's team's basketball game. Henry seemed excited to be there and seemed to be enjoying himself. But he pinched my arms a lot. I am hypothesizing that he was feeling "nervous" in a different way- an excited way- and maybe the pinching helps release that energy? I wonder if I got him something else to squeeze if it would help.
He is really cute with the girls on Bill's team (6th graders). When he goes along to practice sometimes he runs laps with them! They all seem to really like him, and vice versa. Conversely, though, when one player's first-grader sister and her mom came over to introduce themselves to me, Henry didn't even give the girl a glance. When I tried to ask him about her, his only comment was, "there are 2 Graces" (in first grade). He seems to think it is so crazy that there are 2 girls with the same name. (This girl's name was not Grace, so I don't know what that had to do with anything? Maybe Henry likes one of the Graces.)
Friday, January 12, 2007
follow up
Henry's teacher called yesterday afternoon. "Henry has had a great day, but..."
When he grabbed his bowling ball and headed up to the lane, he slipped/tripped/stumbled and BONKED HIS NOSE on his bowling ball! Ouch!
As recently discussed, Henry doesn't seem to feel much pain (his teacher told me that they have noticed the same phenomenon), so his profusely bleeding nose did not slow him down. She said he just wanted to keep on bowling.
_______
We are having trouble fitting homework into Henry's routine. He gets home from school around 4. He often is then whisked off to swimming lessons, basketball practice, or the exercise place with Daddy. By the time I get home it's time to eat and then have some much-deserved down time with a movie or on the computer, maybe fit in a bath once in awhile before bed.
Last night I forced him to do some homework, and he suggested "first homework, then movie". So I agreed. He wrote his name on the page. The first question asked "What is today?"
He is well aware of what day it was (especially because it was a community trip day). But to spite me and his teacher, he took the pencil and wrote Noday. No day! You might make me do this @*$# homework, but you're not going to like my answers!
________
Henry had a swimming lesson yesterday and I remembered that I never answered MOM-NOS's question about his swimming lessons a few posts back.
Henry takes swimming lessons through Easter Seals. I would highly recommend Easter Seals' many programs to any family with a special needs child. We found our way to Easter Seals the summer that Henry was almost 5. He was in a preschool class where he received itinerant (ie brief and sporadic) special needs services, provided through the school system (thus only during the school year). We knew that he could not spend the summer in that environment without ANY supports. So his special needs preschool teacher provided me with a few ideas for summer "camps"- one being Easter Seals.
They have an indoor therapeutic pool where the kids would swim as a class once a week. I inquired about swimming lessons, and he has been taking them ever since. So, yes, the teachers have experience in working with "disabled" kids of all kinds.
Have a good weekend. I am hoping to use the long weekend (I have the day off Monday) to get a decent photo of my kids. Wish me luck.
When he grabbed his bowling ball and headed up to the lane, he slipped/tripped/stumbled and BONKED HIS NOSE on his bowling ball! Ouch!
As recently discussed, Henry doesn't seem to feel much pain (his teacher told me that they have noticed the same phenomenon), so his profusely bleeding nose did not slow him down. She said he just wanted to keep on bowling.
_______
We are having trouble fitting homework into Henry's routine. He gets home from school around 4. He often is then whisked off to swimming lessons, basketball practice, or the exercise place with Daddy. By the time I get home it's time to eat and then have some much-deserved down time with a movie or on the computer, maybe fit in a bath once in awhile before bed.
Last night I forced him to do some homework, and he suggested "first homework, then movie". So I agreed. He wrote his name on the page. The first question asked "What is today?"
He is well aware of what day it was (especially because it was a community trip day). But to spite me and his teacher, he took the pencil and wrote Noday. No day! You might make me do this @*$# homework, but you're not going to like my answers!
________
Henry had a swimming lesson yesterday and I remembered that I never answered MOM-NOS's question about his swimming lessons a few posts back.
Henry takes swimming lessons through Easter Seals. I would highly recommend Easter Seals' many programs to any family with a special needs child. We found our way to Easter Seals the summer that Henry was almost 5. He was in a preschool class where he received itinerant (ie brief and sporadic) special needs services, provided through the school system (thus only during the school year). We knew that he could not spend the summer in that environment without ANY supports. So his special needs preschool teacher provided me with a few ideas for summer "camps"- one being Easter Seals.
They have an indoor therapeutic pool where the kids would swim as a class once a week. I inquired about swimming lessons, and he has been taking them ever since. So, yes, the teachers have experience in working with "disabled" kids of all kinds.
Have a good weekend. I am hoping to use the long weekend (I have the day off Monday) to get a decent photo of my kids. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
bear with me on several different subjects
Bill and I went on a date Saturday night. I had been complaining to a friend about how little time he and I get to spend alone together, and she gently suggested that we could go out and ask Kate to babysit. I'm sure she was thinking "you dummy- you have a teenager who lives in your home! Take advantage of that and ask her to babysit." That's not always as easy as it sounds, because Kate is often busy on weekend nights. But she didn't have plans last Saturday, and we had a movie gift card to spend...
We went to see Casino Royale, the new James Bond movie, and we loved it! I can't be sure if the movie was really that good, or it was just so exciting to be out in the world on a Saturday night that everything had a glow around it! The two beers I drank that night (one before the show and one after) tasted extra good too!
I haven't always been a James Bond fan- that has been cultivated over the years that I've known Bill. But on the rare occasion that we go out to a movie, superhero-type films are the only ones that appeal to me. Due to my highly emotional state, I never want to run the risk of seeing a show that will make me cry or be in any way traumatized. So it's James Bond or Spiderman. No chick flicks for me.
In case you're wondering, we both approve of the "new" James Bond- Daniel Craig. Bill thinks he's the best since Sean Connery. Bill also thinks I might like him a little TOO much. So I guess I won't download that Casino Royale screensaver :-)
__________
Henry's class is going on one of their monthly "community trips" today. (I'm not sure why they're called community trips vs. field trips?) Today they are going bowling and to a pizza place for lunch. Henry has been excited about it, but when he woke up this morning he said he didn't "feel like going bowling."
This happens most times that he is looking forward to doing something. When the time comes, he says he doesn't want to do it after all. I think he must feel too excited/anxious. I asked him if that was the case, and he said "I feel kind of anxious." Who knows if I am putting the right words in his mouth?
__________
I work for a large university which competed in the BCS championship game Monday night (college football, for any who aren't big sports fans). The whole town has been in a frenzy about it for 6 weeks. My husband has been listening to the marching band music in the car on his iPod and has Henry hooked on it. It's pretty cute to hear Henry singing along enthusiastically in his off-beat, off-key way.
When he woke up on Monday morning, Henry asked if we were going to THE GAME. "Oh no," I replied, "the game is really far away- in Phoenix Arizona. The girls in my office who are in the band are at the game, and my friend R (the director of my office). But we aren't going to the game. We can just watch it on TV."
Well, his note from his teacher that day said that he had a really rough day- kept talking about not going to the game! Poor Henry. Why did he think we would be attending the game?! We had gone to a women's basketball game the week before, so maybe that confused him.
_________
My frugality paid off for once: Kate's iPod screen has been damaged for months. The suggestion was made that we get her a new iPod for Christmas. But me, being cheap, thought I'd look into getting it repaired first.
I took it to the Apple store, and they told me to hurry up and send it in for repair, because we were days away from the end of our warranty. I requested a repair online, they sent me a box, and I sent the iPod off. I was sure they would call and grill me about what happened to it. Or, they would repair it and bill me $400. But you'll never believe what happened:
I sent the machine in last Thursday- they would have received it on Friday. On Monday there was a note on the office door that I had missed a delivery on Saturday and it would be attempted again that day. It was a replacement iPod!!!! I love Apple!
We went to see Casino Royale, the new James Bond movie, and we loved it! I can't be sure if the movie was really that good, or it was just so exciting to be out in the world on a Saturday night that everything had a glow around it! The two beers I drank that night (one before the show and one after) tasted extra good too!
I haven't always been a James Bond fan- that has been cultivated over the years that I've known Bill. But on the rare occasion that we go out to a movie, superhero-type films are the only ones that appeal to me. Due to my highly emotional state, I never want to run the risk of seeing a show that will make me cry or be in any way traumatized. So it's James Bond or Spiderman. No chick flicks for me.
In case you're wondering, we both approve of the "new" James Bond- Daniel Craig. Bill thinks he's the best since Sean Connery. Bill also thinks I might like him a little TOO much. So I guess I won't download that Casino Royale screensaver :-)
__________
Henry's class is going on one of their monthly "community trips" today. (I'm not sure why they're called community trips vs. field trips?) Today they are going bowling and to a pizza place for lunch. Henry has been excited about it, but when he woke up this morning he said he didn't "feel like going bowling."
This happens most times that he is looking forward to doing something. When the time comes, he says he doesn't want to do it after all. I think he must feel too excited/anxious. I asked him if that was the case, and he said "I feel kind of anxious." Who knows if I am putting the right words in his mouth?
__________
I work for a large university which competed in the BCS championship game Monday night (college football, for any who aren't big sports fans). The whole town has been in a frenzy about it for 6 weeks. My husband has been listening to the marching band music in the car on his iPod and has Henry hooked on it. It's pretty cute to hear Henry singing along enthusiastically in his off-beat, off-key way.
When he woke up on Monday morning, Henry asked if we were going to THE GAME. "Oh no," I replied, "the game is really far away- in Phoenix Arizona. The girls in my office who are in the band are at the game, and my friend R (the director of my office). But we aren't going to the game. We can just watch it on TV."
Well, his note from his teacher that day said that he had a really rough day- kept talking about not going to the game! Poor Henry. Why did he think we would be attending the game?! We had gone to a women's basketball game the week before, so maybe that confused him.
_________
My frugality paid off for once: Kate's iPod screen has been damaged for months. The suggestion was made that we get her a new iPod for Christmas. But me, being cheap, thought I'd look into getting it repaired first.
I took it to the Apple store, and they told me to hurry up and send it in for repair, because we were days away from the end of our warranty. I requested a repair online, they sent me a box, and I sent the iPod off. I was sure they would call and grill me about what happened to it. Or, they would repair it and bill me $400. But you'll never believe what happened:
I sent the machine in last Thursday- they would have received it on Friday. On Monday there was a note on the office door that I had missed a delivery on Saturday and it would be attempted again that day. It was a replacement iPod!!!! I love Apple!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
outsmarted again
Yesterday morning while we were waiting for the school bus and watching Playhouse Disney, Henry told me "I like Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse." I already knew this, of course, but I saw the comment as my golden opportunity to promote what they've been doing over at the NOS house.
"You know what, Henry? My friend Bud, he likes Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too. He wanted a Mickey Mouse clubhouse toy, and decided to try to earn one with a sticker chart."
Henry was rapt. Smiling and hanging on every word. It was working...
"Bud doesn't like vegetables either. When he eats them, he goes 'aaack aack (said as I made a gagging face)', just like you! Actually, he's a lot like you- that's why his mom and I are friends. So now, every time he eats a bite of a vegetable, he gets a sticker on his chart! And once his chart is filled up. . . he gets the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy!"
I was doing a great job of selling this idea! He was buying it, hook, line, and sinker.
"So you could try that, Henry. If there was a toy you wanted..."
Henry interrupted: "or a movie or a book..."
"Right. If you wanted a toy or a movie or a book, we could have a sticker chart! And every time you ate a vegetable, you would get a sticker."
Henry summarized: "So every time I ate a tomato, I would get a sticker!"
Mom furiously tries to salvage this deal: "oh, right, ummm, I forgot how much you like tomatoes. And those, are, umm, vegetables. Errrr..."
Luckily I was saved by the school bus. If he remembers this conversation, he'll have me feeding him 37 tomatoes at one meal and then buying him a present.
"You know what, Henry? My friend Bud, he likes Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too. He wanted a Mickey Mouse clubhouse toy, and decided to try to earn one with a sticker chart."
Henry was rapt. Smiling and hanging on every word. It was working...
"Bud doesn't like vegetables either. When he eats them, he goes 'aaack aack (said as I made a gagging face)', just like you! Actually, he's a lot like you- that's why his mom and I are friends. So now, every time he eats a bite of a vegetable, he gets a sticker on his chart! And once his chart is filled up. . . he gets the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy!"
I was doing a great job of selling this idea! He was buying it, hook, line, and sinker.
"So you could try that, Henry. If there was a toy you wanted..."
Henry interrupted: "or a movie or a book..."
"Right. If you wanted a toy or a movie or a book, we could have a sticker chart! And every time you ate a vegetable, you would get a sticker."
Henry summarized: "So every time I ate a tomato, I would get a sticker!"
Mom furiously tries to salvage this deal: "oh, right, ummm, I forgot how much you like tomatoes. And those, are, umm, vegetables. Errrr..."
Luckily I was saved by the school bus. If he remembers this conversation, he'll have me feeding him 37 tomatoes at one meal and then buying him a present.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
pain and perseveration
Henry has always had unusual reactions to pain. Part of this, of course, can be attributed to his verbal difficulties. Throughout all his many ear infections, he has never been able to say that his "ear hurt". I have had to read the body language- uncontrollable shivers in the middle of the night- to surmise what was going on.
But beyond the language issue, I think something else is going on here- something neurological? His reactions to pain are usually inappropriate. Often an under-reaction, but sometimes an over-reaction. And it's hard to say which one frightens me more.
We have had to call the emergency squad twice for Henry. Both times he had fallen, hit his head, and appeared to lose consciousness. Both times he regained consciousness while the medics were at our home, and they determined that he was fine. There have been other similar instances when we did not call 911. Not only did he lose consciousness briefly in all these cases, but he appeared to be having a seizure- his eyes rolled back and his body became stiff. It was as if he would cry, hold his breath, and then have this seizure.
As you're reading this, you are probably thinking "my God- why didn't you have some tests run?!" I'm actually wondering that myself. But, you know, we had him examined by the pediatrician after the instances, and were told that this is a common "fainting" type reaction.
I actually have had similar experiences myself- the most recent one being when I was in labor with Tommy and they tipped the examining table back too far and I passed out. I forget the term my OB used, I think it started with a V. Someone with medical knowledge help me out...
**UPDATE: Thanks to the anonymous comment, I found this on the Mayo Clinic site about Vasovagal Syncope (fainting). So it seems like this is just the medical term for random fainting that occurs from fright and various other simulii!**
It has been a few years since the last time this happened to Henry, so perhaps it was something his nervous system "grew out of."
But yesterday, he had a different type of reaction to pain. He and Tommy were fighting/wresting- whatever you call it that brothers do. (It's fighting, but they both kind of like it.) I walked into the room just in time to see Henry bapping Thomas in the face with his paperback book, and I broke up the fight. Henry stood there and looked at me for a minute, then started to cry and SCREAMED the loudest, angriest scream I have ever heard from him.
Well, I have heard the same scream and seen the same look once before: this summer at mom and dad's house when Henry pulled their dog's tail. The dog nipped at him, Henry pulled back his hand and looked surprised, but didn't cry out. (So I didn't think he was hurt.) I started to scold him for pulling the dog's tail, and that's when he gave me this same hurt, angry scream. The dog had actually nipped his finger.
So yesterday when it happened, I knew immediately Henry must have been hurt. I tried to ask him what happened, but he was so angry he just hit at me and yelled. But I saw a wet spot on his sleeve and knew that Thomas must have bitten his arm.
It wasn't until hours later that Henry would let me look at his arm and, sure enough, there was a bruise and bit of broken skin in the form of tooth marks.
We wonder if, because he does have such a seemingly high pain tolerance, when something really does hurt it shocks him so much that he has this extreme reaction.
___________
Yesterday (the last day of winter break) we went shopping to spend the money and gift cards the kids had received for Christmas. We went to Toys R Us and Target. After wandering all the toy aisles, and much deliberation, do you know what Henry picked out to buy?
Star Wars, episodes IV, V, and VI, on DVD.
We already have those movies at home.
But I guess, if you REALLY love something, what could be better than having TWO of that something?
He ate dinner with the DVDs and took them to bed with him.
Can the rest of us say that we are THAT content with our Christmas gifts?
But beyond the language issue, I think something else is going on here- something neurological? His reactions to pain are usually inappropriate. Often an under-reaction, but sometimes an over-reaction. And it's hard to say which one frightens me more.
We have had to call the emergency squad twice for Henry. Both times he had fallen, hit his head, and appeared to lose consciousness. Both times he regained consciousness while the medics were at our home, and they determined that he was fine. There have been other similar instances when we did not call 911. Not only did he lose consciousness briefly in all these cases, but he appeared to be having a seizure- his eyes rolled back and his body became stiff. It was as if he would cry, hold his breath, and then have this seizure.
As you're reading this, you are probably thinking "my God- why didn't you have some tests run?!" I'm actually wondering that myself. But, you know, we had him examined by the pediatrician after the instances, and were told that this is a common "fainting" type reaction.
I actually have had similar experiences myself- the most recent one being when I was in labor with Tommy and they tipped the examining table back too far and I passed out. I forget the term my OB used, I think it started with a V. Someone with medical knowledge help me out...
**UPDATE: Thanks to the anonymous comment, I found this on the Mayo Clinic site about Vasovagal Syncope (fainting). So it seems like this is just the medical term for random fainting that occurs from fright and various other simulii!**
It has been a few years since the last time this happened to Henry, so perhaps it was something his nervous system "grew out of."
But yesterday, he had a different type of reaction to pain. He and Tommy were fighting/wresting- whatever you call it that brothers do. (It's fighting, but they both kind of like it.) I walked into the room just in time to see Henry bapping Thomas in the face with his paperback book, and I broke up the fight. Henry stood there and looked at me for a minute, then started to cry and SCREAMED the loudest, angriest scream I have ever heard from him.
Well, I have heard the same scream and seen the same look once before: this summer at mom and dad's house when Henry pulled their dog's tail. The dog nipped at him, Henry pulled back his hand and looked surprised, but didn't cry out. (So I didn't think he was hurt.) I started to scold him for pulling the dog's tail, and that's when he gave me this same hurt, angry scream. The dog had actually nipped his finger.
So yesterday when it happened, I knew immediately Henry must have been hurt. I tried to ask him what happened, but he was so angry he just hit at me and yelled. But I saw a wet spot on his sleeve and knew that Thomas must have bitten his arm.
It wasn't until hours later that Henry would let me look at his arm and, sure enough, there was a bruise and bit of broken skin in the form of tooth marks.
We wonder if, because he does have such a seemingly high pain tolerance, when something really does hurt it shocks him so much that he has this extreme reaction.
___________
Yesterday (the last day of winter break) we went shopping to spend the money and gift cards the kids had received for Christmas. We went to Toys R Us and Target. After wandering all the toy aisles, and much deliberation, do you know what Henry picked out to buy?
Star Wars, episodes IV, V, and VI, on DVD.
We already have those movies at home.
But I guess, if you REALLY love something, what could be better than having TWO of that something?
He ate dinner with the DVDs and took them to bed with him.
Can the rest of us say that we are THAT content with our Christmas gifts?
Friday, December 29, 2006
the bad fairy
Henry's first loose tooth came out on Dec. 23rd. Bill noticed that it was gone after dinner that night, and asked Henry about it:
"Henry! Did your tooth come out?"
"Yes."
"Well where is it?"
"It's on the table."
Except it wasn't on the table, or on the floor, or anywhere else in the house. Bill and I searched for quite awhile, and all we found were LOTS of little white crumbs that could resemble a baby tooth until you squeezed them and they crumbled into even smaller crumbs.
We think he must have swallowed it.
So that was disappointment number one. Despite talking about it for weeks, Henry didn't notice or care when his first loose tooth finally left him.
(Sidebar: baby Henry got his first tooth over Memorial Day weekend, 2000. He was 9 months old and we were visiting my brothers in Chicago. Henry cried and slept a lot all weekend, and voila, a tooth appeared.)
If Henry were a typical kid (well, he probably would have kept track of the tooth, for one thing). But, if he were a typical kid and had misplaced the tooth, he probably would have been distraught about the tooth fairy- will she still bring me some money, without the tooth under my pillow?!
I intended to slip some money under the pillow and say that the tooth fairy magically knows when you've lost a tooth, even if there's no physical evidence.
But the next day was Christmas Eve, and Henry never mentioned the tooth or the tooth fairy. So I just dropped it. I had other fantasy night visitors to worry about: Santa and the reindeer.
I told a few co-workers about this, and they acted like I'm violating some kind of mommy law.
I feel this tug-of-war: should I try to force my autistic child to do "normal" kid stuff, like get really freaked out about the tooth fairy? Or, if he doesn't care, is it ok for me to not care? Am I taking advantage of his autism to get out of doing my mommy duty?
Last night (5 days after the loss of the tooth) I suggested writing a note to the tooth fairy ("Dear Tooth Fairy, My tooth came out on Saturday, but I can't find it. From Henry"). Henry's attitude was basically "if you want to do that mom, knock yourself out." I stuck a $5 bill under his pillow this morning, but he didn't notice it.
So who are all these fairy tales for, anyway?
"Henry! Did your tooth come out?"
"Yes."
"Well where is it?"
"It's on the table."
Except it wasn't on the table, or on the floor, or anywhere else in the house. Bill and I searched for quite awhile, and all we found were LOTS of little white crumbs that could resemble a baby tooth until you squeezed them and they crumbled into even smaller crumbs.
We think he must have swallowed it.
So that was disappointment number one. Despite talking about it for weeks, Henry didn't notice or care when his first loose tooth finally left him.
(Sidebar: baby Henry got his first tooth over Memorial Day weekend, 2000. He was 9 months old and we were visiting my brothers in Chicago. Henry cried and slept a lot all weekend, and voila, a tooth appeared.)
If Henry were a typical kid (well, he probably would have kept track of the tooth, for one thing). But, if he were a typical kid and had misplaced the tooth, he probably would have been distraught about the tooth fairy- will she still bring me some money, without the tooth under my pillow?!
I intended to slip some money under the pillow and say that the tooth fairy magically knows when you've lost a tooth, even if there's no physical evidence.
But the next day was Christmas Eve, and Henry never mentioned the tooth or the tooth fairy. So I just dropped it. I had other fantasy night visitors to worry about: Santa and the reindeer.
I told a few co-workers about this, and they acted like I'm violating some kind of mommy law.
I feel this tug-of-war: should I try to force my autistic child to do "normal" kid stuff, like get really freaked out about the tooth fairy? Or, if he doesn't care, is it ok for me to not care? Am I taking advantage of his autism to get out of doing my mommy duty?
Last night (5 days after the loss of the tooth) I suggested writing a note to the tooth fairy ("Dear Tooth Fairy, My tooth came out on Saturday, but I can't find it. From Henry"). Henry's attitude was basically "if you want to do that mom, knock yourself out." I stuck a $5 bill under his pillow this morning, but he didn't notice it.
So who are all these fairy tales for, anyway?
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
some christmas pictures
First I have to say that you may notice a predominance of Thomas photos lately, vs. Henry photos. That's because Henry has become camera-shy lately and puts his head down, celebrity-like, whenever the camera comes out.
We had a great holiday weekend. Both boys helped me make some cookies:
Daddy came through and helped Santa find the Dog Magic Wand on Christmas eve. It turns out that this thing comes with disks that shoot out through voice activation. Pretty fun for little boys, daddies, and even Grandpas:
We didn't even open ALL the gifts, because we will have another Christmas with Kate when she comes back from her mom's house.
Bill got me a beautiful "mother's necklace" with birthstones for all three children. I got him a "weather monitor" from Brookstone.
We had a great holiday weekend. Both boys helped me make some cookies:
Daddy came through and helped Santa find the Dog Magic Wand on Christmas eve. It turns out that this thing comes with disks that shoot out through voice activation. Pretty fun for little boys, daddies, and even Grandpas:
We didn't even open ALL the gifts, because we will have another Christmas with Kate when she comes back from her mom's house.
Bill got me a beautiful "mother's necklace" with birthstones for all three children. I got him a "weather monitor" from Brookstone. 
Friday, December 22, 2006
I took Henry to his swimming lesson yesterday, which I haven't done in several months- it's daddy's thing. (But daddy is out of town this week.) Henry has had a new swimming instructor since September, whom I had never met.
His previous teacher was very nurturing, soft-spoken, and kind. This teacher seemed kind also, but stern and very by-the-book.
Henry got in the pool and she asked him to name "2 pool rules". He said "don't run" and "have fun."
They then proceeded to work hard for the next half hour. She had him swimming on his front and back, treading water, jumping in, and gathering rings from the bottom of the pool. I grew more and more amazed as the time went on. With his previous teacher, he would ask to do different things, or try to negotiate with her, and he would often ask if they were finished. With this instructor, he did everything she said- no questions, no protests.
They tread water in the deep end and he would slowly slip under the water. She would just stand there and say "head up, Henry", and eventually he would come back up! Then she told him to climb out. He paddled over to the edge and heaved himself out. Henry has never had much upper body strength, so I was impressed with that effort! He jumped in, and she told him to do it again. He paddled over to the edge, and asked for help. She stood her ground and said "you did it once, you can do it again". I was getting pretty edgy at this point- ready to shout "just help him, for God's sake! He can't do it!" But she was firm and patient and Henry eventually did it!
When he got out of the pool, I told him that it was the best swimming lesson I'd ever seen, and that I was so proud of how much work he did and what a good listener he had been.
Definitely a lesson learned for me: wimpy and nurturing does not do as much good for my son as firm and steadfast.
I used to just be happy that he was getting some exercise and feeling comfortable in the water. But after yesterday, I am actually thinking he'll become a very capable swimmer.
______
We went to Kate's basketball game last night (her team won). It's not easy to do with just one adult, but I kept the boys eating concession stand food (Henry was awfully hungry after all that swimming), and we made it through the whole game.
At one point Thomas was climbing around on the bleachers, and hopped across in front of Henry and then back again. I knew that this would bug Henry, and Henry would do something.
As Thomas came back in front of him, Henry stuck out his foot to trip him.
Tommy fell and cried, probably LOUDER than necessary. I gave Henry a very angry look and hissed "I saw what you did. That is not ok! You can't hurt your brother."
After Thomas stopped crying (he wasn't hurt), Henry came over to me looking strangely defiant and sad at the same time. Gazing right into my eyes, he reached over and pinched my cheek.
This happens often. I think that Henry feels sorry for what he did, and mad at me for scolding him, all at the same time. I'm never quite sure how to handle it. The incident was past, and Thomas was fine, so I said "it's ok, Henry", and tried to hug him. He shouted "NO OK!" and his lip quivered.
He sat down by me and calmed down pretty quickly. I understand why he tripped Tommy. The little brother was being irritating. The part that's tricky is that Henry is so sensitive to being scolded. And maybe doesn't have the language ability to say "well, he was bugging me because he kept bumping into me and I couldn't see the game..."
And then there's the fact that Tommy does these things purposely to get a rise out of Henry and get him in trouble. They're such typical brothers... and yet not typical.
His previous teacher was very nurturing, soft-spoken, and kind. This teacher seemed kind also, but stern and very by-the-book.
Henry got in the pool and she asked him to name "2 pool rules". He said "don't run" and "have fun."
They then proceeded to work hard for the next half hour. She had him swimming on his front and back, treading water, jumping in, and gathering rings from the bottom of the pool. I grew more and more amazed as the time went on. With his previous teacher, he would ask to do different things, or try to negotiate with her, and he would often ask if they were finished. With this instructor, he did everything she said- no questions, no protests.
They tread water in the deep end and he would slowly slip under the water. She would just stand there and say "head up, Henry", and eventually he would come back up! Then she told him to climb out. He paddled over to the edge and heaved himself out. Henry has never had much upper body strength, so I was impressed with that effort! He jumped in, and she told him to do it again. He paddled over to the edge, and asked for help. She stood her ground and said "you did it once, you can do it again". I was getting pretty edgy at this point- ready to shout "just help him, for God's sake! He can't do it!" But she was firm and patient and Henry eventually did it!
When he got out of the pool, I told him that it was the best swimming lesson I'd ever seen, and that I was so proud of how much work he did and what a good listener he had been.
Definitely a lesson learned for me: wimpy and nurturing does not do as much good for my son as firm and steadfast.
I used to just be happy that he was getting some exercise and feeling comfortable in the water. But after yesterday, I am actually thinking he'll become a very capable swimmer.
______
We went to Kate's basketball game last night (her team won). It's not easy to do with just one adult, but I kept the boys eating concession stand food (Henry was awfully hungry after all that swimming), and we made it through the whole game.
At one point Thomas was climbing around on the bleachers, and hopped across in front of Henry and then back again. I knew that this would bug Henry, and Henry would do something.
As Thomas came back in front of him, Henry stuck out his foot to trip him.
Tommy fell and cried, probably LOUDER than necessary. I gave Henry a very angry look and hissed "I saw what you did. That is not ok! You can't hurt your brother."
After Thomas stopped crying (he wasn't hurt), Henry came over to me looking strangely defiant and sad at the same time. Gazing right into my eyes, he reached over and pinched my cheek.
This happens often. I think that Henry feels sorry for what he did, and mad at me for scolding him, all at the same time. I'm never quite sure how to handle it. The incident was past, and Thomas was fine, so I said "it's ok, Henry", and tried to hug him. He shouted "NO OK!" and his lip quivered.
He sat down by me and calmed down pretty quickly. I understand why he tripped Tommy. The little brother was being irritating. The part that's tricky is that Henry is so sensitive to being scolded. And maybe doesn't have the language ability to say "well, he was bugging me because he kept bumping into me and I couldn't see the game..."
And then there's the fact that Tommy does these things purposely to get a rise out of Henry and get him in trouble. They're such typical brothers... and yet not typical.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
good gift idea and the dog magic wand
You already know that I'm in love with Henry's bus driver. Well, she just keeps getting more perfect. Look what she gave him for Christmas:
It's a "Bop Bag". The intention is that you punch the bag, it falls down, and then pops back up. But Henry loves to wrestle it and roll around on the floor with it. I am thinking/hoping that it will really meet some of his sensory needs. Maybe the ones that he now meets by wanting to "rough house" a lot.
It's been a great initiator to get him to just move his body. The only problem is that both boys fight over this toy. But I ask you: what toy DON'T they fight over?
The same day I posted about "what the hell is a dog magic wand?" The answer was given to me!
Henry had made a stocking at school, and cut out pictures to glue on it. As we were admiring all his artwork, Thomas said "and there is the dog magic wand!" It turns out to be (I should have known) a Power Ranger thing. A sort of scepter with an animal face at the top. What luck that Henry had cut out a picture! Now all I have to do is find one. Surely they'll have it at Toys R Us?
It's a "Bop Bag". The intention is that you punch the bag, it falls down, and then pops back up. But Henry loves to wrestle it and roll around on the floor with it. I am thinking/hoping that it will really meet some of his sensory needs. Maybe the ones that he now meets by wanting to "rough house" a lot.It's been a great initiator to get him to just move his body. The only problem is that both boys fight over this toy. But I ask you: what toy DON'T they fight over?
The same day I posted about "what the hell is a dog magic wand?" The answer was given to me!
Henry had made a stocking at school, and cut out pictures to glue on it. As we were admiring all his artwork, Thomas said "and there is the dog magic wand!" It turns out to be (I should have known) a Power Ranger thing. A sort of scepter with an animal face at the top. What luck that Henry had cut out a picture! Now all I have to do is find one. Surely they'll have it at Toys R Us?
Friday, December 15, 2006
the season
I don't feel as manic this holiday season as I sometimes do. Other years I've been driven to try to get Henry to make a gift for his teachers (this translates into Henry being frustrated and me doing all the work) and/or bake something for them.
This year I just bought them some pretty candles at Bath and Body Works.
Other years I've felt driven to bake Christmas cookies. This year I am not feeling that urge. Maybe, if we have time Christmas weekend or the following, we'll do that. Why do I make myself a stressful agenda every year that no one cares about but me?? It's not like I need to eat the cookies!
Almost all my shopping is done, but I haven't even attempted to take the Christmas card photo yet. I am tempted to just skip Christmas cards altogether this year, but then I worry that distant friends will think that I didn't send them a card in particular. They won't know that I didn't send anyone a card...
Tommy enjoyed decorating the tree this year (Henry didn't want any part of decorating it, although he likes to admire the tree). Notice that Thomas tends to hang all his ornaments in the same general area:
Also, please notice that, in addition to his Batman pajama top, he is wearing jeans with elastic ankles, pulled up to his knees to resemble shorts (or "big pants").
Our homework assignment this week for Henry's class was to list some holiday activities our family enjoys, for them to discuss in class. Then Henry was supposed to "write a sentence and draw a picture" about one of the activities:
We like to bake cookies and banana bread together. I'm not sure what the picture is supposed to depict, and I never want to ask him- I feel like he will be offended that I can't tell what it is. He drew a circle (a bowl?) and then a series of half-circle-type shapes (bananas?). He made the first B, I wrote the rest of that word, and then he wrote BRED on his own.
Yesterday Henry's class went on a field trip to see Santa and shop for their families at the dollar store:
Henry told Santa that he wants The Fox and the Hound II DVD for Christmas. No problem. I would like to take Tommy to see Santa Claus, except that he plans to ask for "a dog magic wand". I have no idea what in the hell that is. I hope the elves know how to make one.
This year I just bought them some pretty candles at Bath and Body Works.
Other years I've felt driven to bake Christmas cookies. This year I am not feeling that urge. Maybe, if we have time Christmas weekend or the following, we'll do that. Why do I make myself a stressful agenda every year that no one cares about but me?? It's not like I need to eat the cookies!
Almost all my shopping is done, but I haven't even attempted to take the Christmas card photo yet. I am tempted to just skip Christmas cards altogether this year, but then I worry that distant friends will think that I didn't send them a card in particular. They won't know that I didn't send anyone a card...
Tommy enjoyed decorating the tree this year (Henry didn't want any part of decorating it, although he likes to admire the tree). Notice that Thomas tends to hang all his ornaments in the same general area:
Also, please notice that, in addition to his Batman pajama top, he is wearing jeans with elastic ankles, pulled up to his knees to resemble shorts (or "big pants").Our homework assignment this week for Henry's class was to list some holiday activities our family enjoys, for them to discuss in class. Then Henry was supposed to "write a sentence and draw a picture" about one of the activities:
We like to bake cookies and banana bread together. I'm not sure what the picture is supposed to depict, and I never want to ask him- I feel like he will be offended that I can't tell what it is. He drew a circle (a bowl?) and then a series of half-circle-type shapes (bananas?). He made the first B, I wrote the rest of that word, and then he wrote BRED on his own.Yesterday Henry's class went on a field trip to see Santa and shop for their families at the dollar store:
Henry told Santa that he wants The Fox and the Hound II DVD for Christmas. No problem. I would like to take Tommy to see Santa Claus, except that he plans to ask for "a dog magic wand". I have no idea what in the hell that is. I hope the elves know how to make one.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
another A word
Like my friend Salome, my mind makes bizarre connections. They come without warning and won't leave when I tell them to.
The funeral on Friday was nice- I mean, as nice as a funeral can be. As one of my aunts said, my uncle gave us a gift in that we all were able to see one another to remember him. I don't think I've seen any of these aunts, uncles, or cousins, since at least my wedding (9.5 years ago) and longer, for those who weren't able to attend my wedding.
There were hugs and hand-holding and exclamations over how much Thomas looks like me and my brothers when we were small. Dad and I looked through the photo album together and I heard some great stories.
Dad is the youngest of 11 children. His mother suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, as did this brother who just passed away. A sister was unable to attend the funeral because she is in the advancing stages of the disease.
This is the same side of the family that we have suspected to carry autistic traits. Autism and Alzheimer's. Two brain conditions which make it difficult to communicate- difficult to relate to the world around you and the people who love you.
I'll just stop there, because I don't really know what point I'm trying to make. I am NOT saying that Autism is a disease. And I'm not saying that the blessing of having an autistic person in your life is in any way comparable to having a loved one suffer from Alzheimer's. And I'm sure that someone will tell me off for even mentioning these two conditions in the same paragraph.
I'm just saying that these two "A" words collided in my life and in my brain last week, and I'm trying to sort it out.
I'm not scared of autism anymore. Haven't been for years. But I am scared of Alzheimer's Disease.
The funeral on Friday was nice- I mean, as nice as a funeral can be. As one of my aunts said, my uncle gave us a gift in that we all were able to see one another to remember him. I don't think I've seen any of these aunts, uncles, or cousins, since at least my wedding (9.5 years ago) and longer, for those who weren't able to attend my wedding.
There were hugs and hand-holding and exclamations over how much Thomas looks like me and my brothers when we were small. Dad and I looked through the photo album together and I heard some great stories.
Dad is the youngest of 11 children. His mother suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, as did this brother who just passed away. A sister was unable to attend the funeral because she is in the advancing stages of the disease.
This is the same side of the family that we have suspected to carry autistic traits. Autism and Alzheimer's. Two brain conditions which make it difficult to communicate- difficult to relate to the world around you and the people who love you.
I'll just stop there, because I don't really know what point I'm trying to make. I am NOT saying that Autism is a disease. And I'm not saying that the blessing of having an autistic person in your life is in any way comparable to having a loved one suffer from Alzheimer's. And I'm sure that someone will tell me off for even mentioning these two conditions in the same paragraph.
I'm just saying that these two "A" words collided in my life and in my brain last week, and I'm trying to sort it out.
I'm not scared of autism anymore. Haven't been for years. But I am scared of Alzheimer's Disease.
Friday, December 08, 2006
mostly shitty week
It turns out there's a full moon this week.
Monday I had to have a cavity filled. I'm not usually afraid of the dentist, but maybe I should be. Maybe it's been several years since I've had a filling and they've made their drills LOUDER and SLOWER to drill since then. I was initially told that it was a small cavity. But after drilling for 10 minutes the dentist said "well, I'm glad we got that one. It was deeper than I thought. You might have some sensitivity in that tooth for a while."
Tuesday someone must have slipped some speed in my coffee. I decided to do some Christmas shopping AND grocery shopping on my lunch hour. This entails bringing all the refrigerated stuff into the office kitchen and then taking it back home at the end of the day. I also decided to take both boys to Kate's basketball game by myself.
Bill and Kate had games at the same time, and after our success last week, I thought this would be easy. Hello? Why, exactly, did I think that? Yes, we sat through Kate's games last week. But Bill was with me at both games, and Tommy's godmother was with us at another. Gosh, that's a higher kid/adult ratio than 2:1.
Needless to say, it went terribly. For one thing, we weren't allowed to eat in this school's gym. Food from the concession stand is a sure-fire way to get the boys to sit still. Instead, they ate in the hall outside and I watched through the gym door. Until, that is, I turned around to see Henry dragging his brother down the hall. They do this irritating brother thing where Tommy bugs Henry until Henry grabs him and then Tommy screams and whines and then I break them up and then they go right back for more.
Henry's awesome bus driver (she greeted him on Monday with some ads from the newspaper- he LOVES those- how did she know?!) had driven the basketball team's bus that night. She came over and tried to talk to us, and Henry's behavior just got worse and worse. I don't know if he was showing off for her, or was freaked out to see her in a different place... Whatever it was, he and Tommy tormented one another for another 20 minutes or so, and then we left. I lectured them all the way home. (And then needed to unload the groceries that had been in the van for hours.)
I snapped at Bill when he got home, telling him that we were having a bad night and the boys were in trouble. So that put him in a shitty mood right there with me. Then, when I tried to tell him about what had happened, I got all dramatic about "every other family goes to these games and watches and why can't we just do that like a normal family?!" He gave me the look that I usually give other people (the "you are the biggest idiot I know" look) and said "we aren't a normal family."
I forgot to mention here that while I was running my errands at lunchtime, my dad called to tell me that one of his brothers had passed away. Dad comes from a very large family, but I knew this uncle a little better than some of the others. One of my brothers has his middle name. He was a Lutheran minister and has a daughter my age that I spent time with in the summers. He had been sick with Alzheimer's for years, so it is one of those situations where the family has been grieving for him for a long time. What a horrific disease.
This news was not a surprise, but sad nonetheless.
The final straw in my day, oddly enough, was when a friend called to tell me that she had to have her dog put to sleep.
Man, what a rough night. I wanted to blog about it right then, but our computer wouldn't boot up and then gave me an error message and then I decided to download some virus protection software instead of blogging...
The next morning (Wednesday) Henry woke up with a fever. It turned out that he had an ear infection! I was actually relieved, because I thought maybe that explained why he was being so "bad" the night before.
Today I am attending my uncle's funeral service.
But I wanted to end on a positive note:
Henry has been putting his fingers in his mouth all week, and saying his mouth "itched". I finally looked in there last night, and his two front teeth are coming in, behind the baby teeth!!! How exciting! I can remember the same thing happening with Kate- her saying that her teeth felt funny, me looking in there and screeching with excitement about the big teeth! What a big boy Henry is.
And best of all, here's what his notebook said yesterday:
12-7 Great Day! Henry was in a good mood - did all assignments without asking for help! Went to first grade and could answer all the questions about words, and won word bingo!
Super Day - didn't have to remind him of the rules once.
I sure let Henry know how proud I was of him! Funny what a change an antibiotic can make, eh?
Have a good weekend.
Monday I had to have a cavity filled. I'm not usually afraid of the dentist, but maybe I should be. Maybe it's been several years since I've had a filling and they've made their drills LOUDER and SLOWER to drill since then. I was initially told that it was a small cavity. But after drilling for 10 minutes the dentist said "well, I'm glad we got that one. It was deeper than I thought. You might have some sensitivity in that tooth for a while."
Tuesday someone must have slipped some speed in my coffee. I decided to do some Christmas shopping AND grocery shopping on my lunch hour. This entails bringing all the refrigerated stuff into the office kitchen and then taking it back home at the end of the day. I also decided to take both boys to Kate's basketball game by myself.
Bill and Kate had games at the same time, and after our success last week, I thought this would be easy. Hello? Why, exactly, did I think that? Yes, we sat through Kate's games last week. But Bill was with me at both games, and Tommy's godmother was with us at another. Gosh, that's a higher kid/adult ratio than 2:1.
Needless to say, it went terribly. For one thing, we weren't allowed to eat in this school's gym. Food from the concession stand is a sure-fire way to get the boys to sit still. Instead, they ate in the hall outside and I watched through the gym door. Until, that is, I turned around to see Henry dragging his brother down the hall. They do this irritating brother thing where Tommy bugs Henry until Henry grabs him and then Tommy screams and whines and then I break them up and then they go right back for more.
Henry's awesome bus driver (she greeted him on Monday with some ads from the newspaper- he LOVES those- how did she know?!) had driven the basketball team's bus that night. She came over and tried to talk to us, and Henry's behavior just got worse and worse. I don't know if he was showing off for her, or was freaked out to see her in a different place... Whatever it was, he and Tommy tormented one another for another 20 minutes or so, and then we left. I lectured them all the way home. (And then needed to unload the groceries that had been in the van for hours.)
I snapped at Bill when he got home, telling him that we were having a bad night and the boys were in trouble. So that put him in a shitty mood right there with me. Then, when I tried to tell him about what had happened, I got all dramatic about "every other family goes to these games and watches and why can't we just do that like a normal family?!" He gave me the look that I usually give other people (the "you are the biggest idiot I know" look) and said "we aren't a normal family."
I forgot to mention here that while I was running my errands at lunchtime, my dad called to tell me that one of his brothers had passed away. Dad comes from a very large family, but I knew this uncle a little better than some of the others. One of my brothers has his middle name. He was a Lutheran minister and has a daughter my age that I spent time with in the summers. He had been sick with Alzheimer's for years, so it is one of those situations where the family has been grieving for him for a long time. What a horrific disease.
This news was not a surprise, but sad nonetheless.
The final straw in my day, oddly enough, was when a friend called to tell me that she had to have her dog put to sleep.
Man, what a rough night. I wanted to blog about it right then, but our computer wouldn't boot up and then gave me an error message and then I decided to download some virus protection software instead of blogging...
The next morning (Wednesday) Henry woke up with a fever. It turned out that he had an ear infection! I was actually relieved, because I thought maybe that explained why he was being so "bad" the night before.
Today I am attending my uncle's funeral service.
But I wanted to end on a positive note:
Henry has been putting his fingers in his mouth all week, and saying his mouth "itched". I finally looked in there last night, and his two front teeth are coming in, behind the baby teeth!!! How exciting! I can remember the same thing happening with Kate- her saying that her teeth felt funny, me looking in there and screeching with excitement about the big teeth! What a big boy Henry is.
And best of all, here's what his notebook said yesterday:
12-7 Great Day! Henry was in a good mood - did all assignments without asking for help! Went to first grade and could answer all the questions about words, and won word bingo!
Super Day - didn't have to remind him of the rules once.
I sure let Henry know how proud I was of him! Funny what a change an antibiotic can make, eh?
Have a good weekend.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
random thoughts
I started throwing down some random thoughts this week and will try to elaborate on as many as I can before Thomas wakes up from his nap!
1. We went to Kate's first home basketball game this week and I was so pleased because we were all able to stay for the entire game. When Henry got fidgety, he would lay on the bleacher with his head in my lap and watch the clock count down. When he was watching the game, he would echo everything his father shouted. This was appropriate when Bill shouted "nice pass", for example. More amusing when Bill shouted "box out!" or "traveling!"
Both boys liked watching the cheerleaders, and the mascot (a lion) was even in attendance. Henry didn't care much for the mascot, but Tommy gave him/her five a few times.
The band came in before the Varsity game, and both boys REALLY enjoyed that as well.
2. Thomas has been a challenge this week. He still enjoys wearing costumes, but since Halloween, has now refined his interest to always wanting his lower legs exposed. He always wants to wear shorts. But he calls them "big pants" which took me awhile to decipher:
me: Why don't you wear these red pants today?
Tommy: Are they big?
me: Umm, yes, they are long pants.
Tommy (trying them on): Ooooooh, these are not big pants!!! (Many, many tears)
You might think that one could roll ones pants up in this situation. But then there is the dreaded danger that they might come unrolled at any moment. This would result in a panicked shriek: "ooooh, these are falling doooown!"
I am just caught a bit off guard by this compulsive behavior. I've heard of little girls who will wear only dresses, etc. But a boy who will only wear shorts? A very wise friend hypothesized that this has to do with his love of superheroes. Although they don't wear shorts, most of them wear tights, which reveal all the curves of their legs. My friend thinks Tommy feels he must expose the muscles in his legs at all times.
His logic can be quite amusing:
me: lets put on your pull-up for bedtime.
Thomas: weeewl (well), Batman doesn't wear a pull-up.
me (thinking that Batman also doesn't wear shorts in December): well, he did when he was 2.
The funniest thing happened Friday night- I got this bright idea that if Tommy picked out some of his own long pants, maybe he'd be more willing to wear them. (Most of his clothes are Henry hand-me-downs, and of all Henry's quirks, he has never cared about how he dressed.)
So we went to Old Navy to find some "cool clothes". He wandered around until he found a pair of 0-3 month size girls' khaki pants. "Here are some big pants!" he shouted. I told him several times (pointing to the label, as if he could read it!) that these were baby pants, and they wouldn't fit him.
He would not be persuaded, so I said "ok, let's try them on." I figured that the only way he would give up on those pants would be to see that they didn't fit. So he took off his shoes and pants, right there in the aisle, and tried the baby girl khakis on.
They fit.
They were skintight and flared a bit at the knee, and I laughed my ass off. I made a vow to carry my camera with me at all times, because this was too good to not share.
So then came the tantrum, when I made him take off these awesome "big" pants, that fit just right.
-----
Well, I only got through 2 topics, but it's time to put up the Christmas tree...
1. We went to Kate's first home basketball game this week and I was so pleased because we were all able to stay for the entire game. When Henry got fidgety, he would lay on the bleacher with his head in my lap and watch the clock count down. When he was watching the game, he would echo everything his father shouted. This was appropriate when Bill shouted "nice pass", for example. More amusing when Bill shouted "box out!" or "traveling!"
Both boys liked watching the cheerleaders, and the mascot (a lion) was even in attendance. Henry didn't care much for the mascot, but Tommy gave him/her five a few times.
The band came in before the Varsity game, and both boys REALLY enjoyed that as well.
2. Thomas has been a challenge this week. He still enjoys wearing costumes, but since Halloween, has now refined his interest to always wanting his lower legs exposed. He always wants to wear shorts. But he calls them "big pants" which took me awhile to decipher:
me: Why don't you wear these red pants today?
Tommy: Are they big?
me: Umm, yes, they are long pants.
Tommy (trying them on): Ooooooh, these are not big pants!!! (Many, many tears)
You might think that one could roll ones pants up in this situation. But then there is the dreaded danger that they might come unrolled at any moment. This would result in a panicked shriek: "ooooh, these are falling doooown!"
I am just caught a bit off guard by this compulsive behavior. I've heard of little girls who will wear only dresses, etc. But a boy who will only wear shorts? A very wise friend hypothesized that this has to do with his love of superheroes. Although they don't wear shorts, most of them wear tights, which reveal all the curves of their legs. My friend thinks Tommy feels he must expose the muscles in his legs at all times.
His logic can be quite amusing:
me: lets put on your pull-up for bedtime.
Thomas: weeewl (well), Batman doesn't wear a pull-up.
me (thinking that Batman also doesn't wear shorts in December): well, he did when he was 2.
The funniest thing happened Friday night- I got this bright idea that if Tommy picked out some of his own long pants, maybe he'd be more willing to wear them. (Most of his clothes are Henry hand-me-downs, and of all Henry's quirks, he has never cared about how he dressed.)
So we went to Old Navy to find some "cool clothes". He wandered around until he found a pair of 0-3 month size girls' khaki pants. "Here are some big pants!" he shouted. I told him several times (pointing to the label, as if he could read it!) that these were baby pants, and they wouldn't fit him.
He would not be persuaded, so I said "ok, let's try them on." I figured that the only way he would give up on those pants would be to see that they didn't fit. So he took off his shoes and pants, right there in the aisle, and tried the baby girl khakis on.
They fit.
They were skintight and flared a bit at the knee, and I laughed my ass off. I made a vow to carry my camera with me at all times, because this was too good to not share.
So then came the tantrum, when I made him take off these awesome "big" pants, that fit just right.
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Well, I only got through 2 topics, but it's time to put up the Christmas tree...
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