I took Henry to his swimming lesson yesterday, which I haven't done in several months- it's daddy's thing. (But daddy is out of town this week.) Henry has had a new swimming instructor since September, whom I had never met.

His previous teacher was very nurturing, soft-spoken, and kind. This teacher seemed kind also, but stern and very by-the-book.

Henry got in the pool and she asked him to name "2 pool rules". He said "don't run" and "have fun."

They then proceeded to work hard for the next half hour. She had him swimming on his front and back, treading water, jumping in, and gathering rings from the bottom of the pool. I grew more and more amazed as the time went on. With his previous teacher, he would ask to do different things, or try to negotiate with her, and he would often ask if they were finished. With this instructor, he did everything she said- no questions, no protests.

They tread water in the deep end and he would slowly slip under the water. She would just stand there and say "head up, Henry", and eventually he would come back up! Then she told him to climb out. He paddled over to the edge and heaved himself out. Henry has never had much upper body strength, so I was impressed with that effort! He jumped in, and she told him to do it again. He paddled over to the edge, and asked for help. She stood her ground and said "you did it once, you can do it again". I was getting pretty edgy at this point- ready to shout "just help him, for God's sake! He can't do it!" But she was firm and patient and Henry eventually did it!

When he got out of the pool, I told him that it was the best swimming lesson I'd ever seen, and that I was so proud of how much work he did and what a good listener he had been.

Definitely a lesson learned for me: wimpy and nurturing does not do as much good for my son as firm and steadfast.

I used to just be happy that he was getting some exercise and feeling comfortable in the water. But after yesterday, I am actually thinking he'll become a very capable swimmer.
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We went to Kate's basketball game last night (her team won). It's not easy to do with just one adult, but I kept the boys eating concession stand food (Henry was awfully hungry after all that swimming), and we made it through the whole game.

At one point Thomas was climbing around on the bleachers, and hopped across in front of Henry and then back again. I knew that this would bug Henry, and Henry would do something.

As Thomas came back in front of him, Henry stuck out his foot to trip him.

Tommy fell and cried, probably LOUDER than necessary. I gave Henry a very angry look and hissed "I saw what you did. That is not ok! You can't hurt your brother."

After Thomas stopped crying (he wasn't hurt), Henry came over to me looking strangely defiant and sad at the same time. Gazing right into my eyes, he reached over and pinched my cheek.

This happens often. I think that Henry feels sorry for what he did, and mad at me for scolding him, all at the same time. I'm never quite sure how to handle it. The incident was past, and Thomas was fine, so I said "it's ok, Henry", and tried to hug him. He shouted "NO OK!" and his lip quivered.

He sat down by me and calmed down pretty quickly. I understand why he tripped Tommy. The little brother was being irritating. The part that's tricky is that Henry is so sensitive to being scolded. And maybe doesn't have the language ability to say "well, he was bugging me because he kept bumping into me and I couldn't see the game..."

And then there's the fact that Tommy does these things purposely to get a rise out of Henry and get him in trouble. They're such typical brothers... and yet not typical.