thanksgiving

Here I am on Thanksgiving with my two brothers and my two sons. You wouldn't believe how often I start to call Henry (oldest kid) by the older brother's name (Christian) and same with the 2 baby boys. I especially do it a lot when we are all together like this. It's like I'm caught in a time warp: am I the big sister or the mother?

Wilfred is the brother who lives in Australia. He brought those koala bear ears for my kids supposedly, but he and Paul seemed to spend a lot of time wearing them. I think all Australians must actually walk around with koala bear ears. I'll have to visit someday to find out for sure.

We had a wonderful almost-week of holiday stuff. Wilfred and Paul visited us at home for a couple days, and then we all moved on to mom and dad's house. Henry's behavior was much improved over last year. It may be because our visit was shorter, but I like to think it is also because he is growing up.

He and Tommy came to the dinner table a bit early, and were finished eating their crescent rolls and cranberry sauce right about the time the rest of us sat down. But he was overall much more agreeable about getting off of Grandma's computer and complying with other requests. And when the boys and I went to the zoo on the day after Thanksgiving, we had this exchange:

Henry: Can we please stop in the gift shop?

Me: I don't think we'll go to the gift shop today.

Henry: Why will we not go to the gift shop today?

No yelling or running away or bolting into the gift shop in defiance. He just calmly asked me why not? He did proceed to make the same request several more times, but I held my ground, and he held his composure. Yay for us both!

MG was right on about the #&*@!&# water heater. It died a horrible death this weekend and we had to get a new one. Just what you want to spend hundreds of dollars on during the holiday season! Luckily, Lowe's decided to give us some credit, and provided emergency same-day installation, so it had a somewhat happy ending.

medical visits

Tommy's caregiver called Thursday afternoon: "Tommy's had an accident. He and (another boy) were holding hands and running back and forth. Tommy fell and hasn't moved his arm since then-it's been about 45 minutes."

So we were off to the Children's Hospital Emergency Room- almost exactly 6 months after my last visit there, when Henry had pneumonia.

Tommy sat quietly on my lap for about 2 hours in the waiting room. He would whimper and cry briefly at random times, or if we moved. When the nurse examined him, she mentioned something called nursemaid's elbow and called the resident in to check it out. When they asked him where it hurt, though, Thomas kept pointing to his wrist. So we were sent to x-ray.

The x-ray technician lifted Tommy's arm, turned it underside-up, and asked me to hold it firm. This produced some tears from both mother and child. After the x-ray, the tech gave Tommy some stickers. The next thing I know, he's using both hands to peel the stickers and affix them all to the front of his shirt.

So it was nursemaid's elbow after all, and the process of manipulating the arm for the x-ray had remedied it. I was quite relieved. Tommy has had no pain since, but we do need to be careful not to pull him by the hand, as he'll be more susceptible to the injury from now on.


Saturday morning we all visited the dentist. The past few times both boys have observed Bill and I getting our cleanings. Henry has refused to let them clean his teeth, but has allowed the dentist to count them.

This was Tommy's first cleaning, and he behaved just as I expected: perfectly! This child sits so still for haircuts and doctor visits- I think God was trying to balance out my children's personalities in this regard- He must have decided that I've been through enough stress holding Henry still for medicine dosing and doctor appointments, He thought He'd throw me a bone with the kid who insists on wearing a costume every single day of his life, but is very cooperative for teachers, doctors, and other professionals.

But the surprise of the visit was that Henry decided to let the hygienist clean his teeth!!!!!!!!! Everyone shout Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so relieved about this also because I had this nagging guilt at the back of my mind: my child is 7 years old and has never been to the dentist. I intended to make an appointment at an office that specializes in special needs kids, but of course have never gotten around to it.

I am so so so proud of Henry. I think he just needed a few visits with us to get the lay of the land and wrap his mind around the idea- about a year and a half of mulling it over, and he was ready!

He chose a Pirates of the Caribbean pencil as his treat, and told me that he wanted "to use it for teacher and independent" at school.

a day off to catch up

Ha!

My office is closed today for Veteran's Day. The older kids still have school, and I plan on taking Thomas to his sitter today anyway. I've been so excited to have a day to myself, but my list of things to do keeps growing by the minute.

I thought I'd get a start on Christmas shopping, maybe exercise (my resolve in that area has dwindled lately), clean the house, figure out what to do about our leaky water heater, catch up on laundry, write a blog post... all before Henry gets home from school at 4.

I've been wanting to share some entries from our communication notebook with Henry's teacher:

10/16
Henry had a rough day today. Didn't want to do work, but did a great job in APE (Adapted Phys Ed) with one on one help. Lots of touching and kicking. We bumped up rewards for good behavior but weren't too successful. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

10/17
Better afternoon-worked well with OT and one on one in class. Still not completing independent work. But much better than yesterday.

10/23
Great morning- love the haircut. Did some independent. We are working with clothespins and other fine motor to strengthen fingers. It is not his favorite. OK afternoon very touchy with other students. Will continue to work on that.

10/24
Forgot to tell you we are taking Henry to 1st grade* for snack and read aloud (started yesterday). He did well, working on not talking out, getting used to a big group and taking turns. Henry and a few of the students are becoming a little aggressive during tag (grabbing and pulling instead of tagging) so we are redirecting tag to other things for now.** Trying to keep hands and feet to themselves at school.

*She means the "regular" first grade class. It bugs me that they call it "going to first grade" because he IS a first-grader and is doing first grade work, no matter what room he is in. But it doesn't seem worth quibbling with her over the wording...

**They were all excited when the boys in this class started playing tag together. But it didn't take long for them to get carried away. Typical boys in that regard.

(I wrote back that Henry had told me he did something "with the first graders" so I was glad that he had been excited enough about it to communicate it to me! I was pleasantly surprised that they'd decided to do some inclusion, considering all the trouble it seemed like he'd been having with doing independent work and with using un-gentle hands.)

10/26
... Didn't go to 1st grade today because of tantrum at playground and wouldn't walk into the school. 1st grade time is right after playground in the morning...

10/27
Great morning- better independent work. Has indoor recess did a little better with hands. He has started taking off his glasses when he doesn't want to do his work.

(Maybe this is why the nose pieces of his glasses are always breaking.)

10/30
Good day-did much better letting go of grip on students and teachers today :-) Really good mood!

11/1
Big afternoon, power went out for 45 minutes. Henry did great. Had a little trouble figuring out why computer didn't work but everything else was fine.

11/6
Henry had a really rough morning scratching, kicking peers. Refused to do anything in APE. But the great news is the rest of the day was fantastic! He went to music with 1st grade & calendar time. We were very proud of him! We are going to try adding more 1st grade time and see how he does :-)

11/7
Not the best day today. Lots of grabbing and scratching. He did go to library with 1st grade.

11/8
Much better day. Keeping hands to himself much more. Listening to directions and completing work.

(Yesterday they had a field trip to a local candy factory and a pizza place for lunch)
11/9
Great day- very good at factory, ate lots at (pizza place) and we also got to see some of the Veteran's parade. He loved the bands and waving his new flag.
_______________________________

I often see no rhyme or reason to Henry's good days vs. bad days. He seems to be making good progress, so I will just roll with it.

Time to get everyone ready for school, so I will save our most recent Emergency Room visit for my next post!

By the way, I don't take for granted the reason for my day off today. Thanks to all the vets who've sacrificed so much for all of us. Especially my dad who went to Vietnam when I was a newborn infant. (I'll have to find some pictures to post from that era!)

The busy basketball season is starting at our house. Bill and Kate are gone a lot and it's just me and the boys at home together. I am trying to take this opportunity to consciously BE with my kids. Too many times I try to get them interested in something so that I can do something else. And not usually something fun- usually I'm doing laundry or dishes or paying bills.

The Friday before last, before Halloween, Bill had basketball practice and Kate went to a friend's house. Henry played on the computer for awhile and Tommy and I played with the winter hats and gloves and scarves! We pretended it was snowing, and we were building a snowman and throwing snowballs and making snow angels. (All of this was Thomas' idea, of course. I can't come up with ideas like that!)

I don't know if I can convey how fun Thomas' imagination is. He is obviously more imaginative than Henry, but I think even more so than Kate was. Well, maybe that's not accurate, maybe I just don't remember Kate being 2.5 anymore. But we had fun together. Sometimes his imagination can be exhausting, but still great!

That Friday afternoon my sister-in-law had alerted me that It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown would be on at 8. So the boys and I snuggled up on the couch to watch it. I was a little concerned that they might not "get it"--that these old cartoons wouldn't make sense to my modern kids. But they really loved the program. They laughed a lot at Snoopy and wondered whether the Great Pumpkin would appear. Most of all, for me, it was bliss to be on the couch with an arm around each boy. Was there a happier mom anywhere that night?

Saturday morning we headed out for "Boo at the Zoo". The kids wear their costumes and sponsors set up "treat stations" throughout the zoo. The weather was COLD and WINDY but not so bad as we went in and out of the buildings. The treats were kind of lame- lots of mini tootsie rolls. And I was irritated to find several groups handing out gum and jawbreakers- not really safe for little ones. (I noticed this AFTER Thomas had chewed and swallowed his first piece of gum.)

We went on the boat ride and that was extra fun because we had to snuggle together to keep warm. Me and my sweet little blond Darth Vaders. (They look like innocent young Anakin somehow predicting his dark future.) I'm sure that Henry liked the boat ride most of all. (The picture up at the top is from the boat ride.)

This past Saturday we visited the library, did some shopping, and visited Daddy at work (sometimes he has to work on Saturday mornings). Sunday we went to church and then walked to the playground. The trip to the playground was a little forced- Henry really didn't want to go, and made that painfully clear the whole time. The only part he enjoyed was walking through all the piles of leaves along the way, and I was afraid that some grumpy old man would come out and yell at us for messing up his leaf piles.

I'm struggling a bit right now to find some common ground with Henry. He doesn't seem to like doing puzzles as much anymore- something that was a guaranteed activity together a year ago. He likes playing games on the computer a lot, but that is such an isolated individual activity. Especially in our house, where the computer is shoved down in a basement corner. L's husband is one of those guys who finds deals on e-bay all time, and she said that he could help us get a cheap laptop. I am thinking about doing that, so that Henry could at least sit at the dining room table to play his games. Any thoughts about that or other new activities for us to do together?

a true Halloween horror story

When Thomas and I arrived home at 5 last night, ready for some trick-or-treating, Bill told me "Henry isn't home yet."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
The bus always drops him off at 4 pm. Bill thought that maybe because of the rainy weather and/or Halloween parties at school, the bus was running late. An hour late.
"I'm going to run over to the school," I said. (What I meant was: I'm going to run over to Kate's school to see if Henry's with her. )
"I'll go." Bill said. He headed over to the school complex, stuck his head in to Kate's practice, didn't see Henry in there, and went on to the elementary school. He was able to get in touch with Henry's teacher, and confirm that she had placed Henry on the bus.
Meanwhile, at home, I searched frantically for the school bus driver's phone number. I know she has given it to me, but could not, in the heat of the moment, find it anywhere. In desperation, I called the police.

I told the dispatcher my name, and that my son hadn't come home from school.

She asked me to describe him.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy: having to describe your child to the police.

"He has kind of wavy blond hair. And he's wearing a Darth Vader costume."

"Can you tell me anything else about him? Like, does he wear glasses?"

"Yes, yes, he wears glasses." How could I have forgotten to mention the glasses?

She said they had all their officers working that night, and she would have them start looking for Henry. A 3 ft. tall kid wearing a Darth Vader costume on Halloween night. No problem.

I told her that my husband had gone up to the school and was going to see if Henry was with our daughter at basketball practice.

Bill was still in Henry's classroom and had started calling the parents of other kids in Henry's class, to see if their sons got home ok.

A police officer called me back to ask me more questions: what was his bus number?

"I don't know- it's just the one bus." I know I sounded like a complete idiot at this point, but I have never looked at the bus number. The rest of our district is not bussed- the only kids who ride the bus are the special ed kids. Why did the police officer not know that?

While I was talking/blubbering to him, someone interrupted him to say that they had found Henry- in the high school gymnasium with the basketball team!

I was so relieved, but still confused.

Kate's practice was supposed to start at 3:30. Henry's bus doesn't drop him off until 4. So how was it that those two crossed paths?

Bill says that it didn't even occur to him that Henry might be with Kate. It was the only thing that occurred to me. If he wasn't with her, he was with an awful person for horrific reasons that I can't even let my mind put into complete thoughts.

The police dispatcher had asked if Henry might have gone to a friend's house? Or started trick-or-treating early, on his own? No no no no- you don't know my son. He's different than other 1st graders. He wouldn't have done either of those things.

I know all's well that ends well. The boys got to go trick-or-treating and had no ill effects from the 1/2 hour of confusion.

Our busy schedules, combined with some miscommunication, just got the better of us this time.

But I feel like a cold mist of dread has settled over me and I just can't shake it.

This may very well have been the worst experience of my life. It runs neck and neck with the afternoon spent at the emergency room last May. That was awful, but at least I was with Henry and holding on tight to him.

Now I feel like I never want to let him go again.

(Tommy was going to be Darth Vader also, but at the last minute switched to the Human Torch.)

It's not echolalia- it's just me!

This has happened a couple times this week:

Henry was talking to himself-having a little dialogue about Star Wars or The Lion King...

Tommy said "Henry, what is that from?"

(Because usually, Henry is repeating a script, and that is a question we ask to insert ourselves into his world.)

But this time, Henry seemed confused. "I don't know." He replied.

Tommy tried to rephrase the question "Henry, who says that?"

Henry started to get agitated "I don't know who says that!"

And that was when the light bulb went on: I realized that HE was the one who said it. It was something that Henry made up in his own little head.

Poor Henry- even when he comes up with something on his own, the rest of us don't recognize it! Yet another bittersweet moment.

monkey see monkey do

The whole idea of the big-brother influence is turned on its head when the big brother has an autism spectrum disorder.

Take this picture, for example:

Tommy was doing a great job with his fork. But then he noticed that his brother never likes to use a fork, and his brother likes to scoop all the icing off a slice of cake with his fingers. Now Tommy likes to eat with his fingers too.

He has also started using some of Henry's phrases when he's in trouble, like "I don't know!" or "I'm running away from you!"

How do I tell my 2.5 year old "yes, I know that your older brother does that, but it's not ok for you to do it"?

At some point we will have to discuss that Henry has some disabilities that prevent him from doing the same things as Tommy. But I don't think that Tommy's ready to understand that yet. For now I have tried saying things like "it's not ok for Henry to get so rough when you play. Sometimes it's hard for Henry to listen to my words and remember them. And sometimes it's hard for Henry to use HIS words."

And then I always try to acknowledge when Thomas "uses his words" and tell him what a great job he's doing. It's tricky, because I don't want Tommy to feel like he's "better" than his brother. But he IS better than Henry at doing some things...

What do you think?

well worth it

Lately quite a few of my internet friends have been battling their school districts and insurance companies. I feel helpless when I read of their troubles, and don't leave a comment because all I can think to write is "gosh, my school district is great- I guess I'm lucky" and that pretty much makes me sound like an ass.

Part of this is that Henry is older, and I am further removed from the initial testing and placing and IEP-ing that is so so so stressful. When I look back on that time, I can remember all three of his preschool teachers who didn't understand him and didn't even try to. (This included the teacher in his "special education" preschool.)

They really just didn't want this problem child who needed special attention and different treatment to take up their time and energy. They wanted a room full of little preschooler clones, whose only behavior issues might involve using a swear word or playing with forbidden Power Rangers.

It broke my heart to hear their reports every day and have them ask me for suggestions. Yet they refused to use the picture schedules that had been provided to them. I scrambled for ideas to help my son and, unfortunately, had not yet found this network of brilliant parents on the internet.

Henry is only in first grade, and I have attended IEP meetings and teacher conferences at 4 different schools. How is this appropriate for a child who craves, above all, stability?

But, one constant has been at all these meetings, and that is my school district's Special Education Director. At first it seemed like she was just there to recite policy and use words that I didn't understand. But as the years passed, and she got to know Henry better, I realized that she was my ally.

We pay an inordinate amount of money for our small old house on a very busy street, because we wanted to live in this school district. The district is small and very well-respected in the area. We moved here the summer before Henry turned 2, before we had any inkling of his special educational needs. But I'm so thankful now that we did. I guess maybe all those ratings are actually worth something.

This is just the most recent of many times that I've felt thankful for stumbling into a good situation. I know that you other moms who are being so proactive and such advocates for your children will find an answer. I wish I could help.

overdoing it with the new camera -or- a beautiful day for a walk

Henry and I went for a walk last Saturday. I foolishly suggested a walk to the library. That was BEFORE I looked at the clock and looked at the library hours and realized that they were closing at 6 pm, or RIGHT NOW. Ooops.

Unlike his brother, Henry doesn't like to just go for a walk and look at stuff. He likes to have a destination to make the walk worth his while, and I guess that's understandable. So I suggested a trip to Starbucks. (The library and Starbucks are both at the farthest end of our street- about a half mile away.)

Once we started walking, Henry started repeating "it's a beautiful day for a walk!" I'm sure he was echoing something he'd heard me say before, but it was still appropriate. We talked about the leaves, the birds, the Halloween decorations, etc.

At Starbucks we ordered a crumbleberry coffee cake, an orange juice and a bottle of water. Henry wanted to eat there. I wanted to get everything to go. I am always trying to think ahead, and I was anticipating something that has happened before.

But he persuaded me to stay.

Henry ate the topping off first. With his fingers, of course.

Then the thing happened that I had anticipated: Henry asked for ANOTHER crumbleberry coffee cake. My way of dealing with this in the past has been to leave the store before he ate, and therefore avoid having to tell him "no" to the request of another. Either that or I have planned on buying 2 of the overpriced coffee cakes.

But this time I just told him "no. We're not getting another one." (I truly didn't have any more money, so it was easier to say. I'm a pushover.) He protested and went to the case and talked loudly about how he wanted another one. But he didn't throw a hairy tantrum like he would have when he was 4 or 5. He's growing up.

Tommy's been drinking out of a straw a lot lately. It reminded me that Henry was not able to drink from a straw until he was 4, and not until I asked his therapists to specifically work on it. Once they did work with him, he mastered the skill in no time. But it did not come naturally to him like it has to Thomas and most other children. So that's why I took the picture below of Henry drinking with a straw.

He was a little grumpy on the walk home, and asked me to carry him on my shoulders. Luckily I can still do that, and it was worth it to hear him say "it's a forest!" when we walked underneath the trees.

lucky thirty-seven?

So last Friday was my birthday. That's right, Friday the 13th. It's happened a few times in my life that my birthday falls on a Friday and I don't remember those years being particularly unlucky, so I don't sweat it.

This year I made myself a haircut appointment and took the afternoon off of work. Then a friend invited me to meet her for a pedicure, so I had an afternoon of pampering. On Saturday we went to my mom and dad's for a lovely visit. I had suspected they were getting me the digital camera, but the photo printer was a surprise!! I haven't been able to string together enough minutes to install it yet, but am looking forward to using it someday :-)

During my morning jog on Saturday, I thought back over the past year.

It was a year in which I started exercising more faithfully, even challenging myself to a more rigorous mode- running.

It was also a year in which I started keeping this on-line journal- a way to record my thoughts and feelings, keep in touch with distant relatives, and reach out to other parents of beautiful, unique children like my own. I truly feel that blogging has made me a better parent. It has helped me organize my mind and my emotions a bit. And it has been an unexpected opportunity to make priceless new friends.

During the past year Bill, Kate and I went through some therapy. I think they would both agree with me that the experience gave us valuable tools for relating to one another as well as dealing with the outside stresses that can threaten our family's peace.

What else happened this year? We went on a couple vacations, I visited one old friend and resumed correspondence with another. We had a party for Kate, Tommy learned to use the potty, and Henry learned to read!

So, it's been a good year. And if I had to sum it up, I'd say that I feel healthier (in body, mind, and spirit) than I did a year ago. That's not bad for a woman entering her late 30s. Let's hope I can say the same next year, and I wish the same for all of you, my old and new friends, as well.

pictures pictures pictures!

My parents gave me a digital camera for my birthday last week! I have some things in mind that I want to write about my birthday, but for now will post lots of pictures!

Remember the pencil box Henry made this summer? Well his teacher also sent home a kit to make a planter. So, (with daddy's help) Henry made me this beautiful planter for my birthday:
He had to use a hammer, screwdriver, and spray paint! This project coincided nicely with Henry's current interest in Handy Manny, Disney's new handyman.
Now here are some pictures from a walk Tommy and I took. We have been taking so many walks lately. The weather is perfect and we love to talk about the leaves and all the Halloween decorations. New (and more tacky) decorations appear every day.
Tommy likes this house because the door is sort of around the side. So the first few times we walked past, we didn't see the scary ghost in the window!

I think every kid in the neighborhood probably loves to walk (or run) on this stone wall:

This is the first thing I wanted to take a picture of when I got my camera! We pass this car at least twice a day, on the way to drop Kate off at school and then on the way back home. And every time one or both of the boys says "look, the ghost car!"

Although he was running the first time we encountered the stone wall, on the way back home, Tommy just wanted to take a rest in that yard:

daydreaming

Occasionally, in the past, Bill and I have taken a weekend away together in the fall. I really wish we had planned to do that this year. We drive up to the house in Michigan and enjoy the crisp air and the colorful leaves and the complete conversations that two people can have when there aren't little people jumping up in between them saying "look at me! All the time! You must have no other love but me!"

The last time we went was October 2003. I was pregnant with Tommy and I can't even remember why now, but I remember that we almost didn't go because it seemed too hard to coordinate SOMETHING about the trip. Who knows what it was? The grandparents must have been watching the kids and maybe there was something stressful about that. Just goes to show that the bad stuff falls away from your memories and just the good stuff remains.

I was reading Harry Potter #2 at that time and we hooked up the TV in order to watch a football game. Bill made a yummy pot of chili and we took walks and boat rides. Bill even swam in the freezing cold lake!
It's fun to take walks up there in the fall because no one's around and you can sneak around all the cool old houses and admire their porches and their gardens and stuff.

I can't believe it's been three years already since we had a getaway. We've had weekends without kids since then- a couple times that we shipped the kids off to Grandma & Grandpa's so we could go to a wedding or a movie. But we were still at home then and that's not quite the same feeling of "Aaah. We're on vacation. Alone."

Our 10th anniversary is coming up next spring. Grand ideas of a trip somewhere exciting have been bouncing around in my head, but right now a simple trip to the familiar lake sounds perfect. Maybe next fall for my (gulp) 38th birthday.

Yesterday was a holiday in Henryland. The Little Mermaid Special Edition was released. Those gosh-darned marketers at Disney put the release date in their previews and my kid latches on to the date. I forget which of our movies has a Little Mermaid preview at the beginning- probably Chicken Little. So ever since we purchased that movie, we've been brainwashed to buy the next one.
The next time you're at the grocery store, look at the Halloween candy display. You'll find that many of the candy bags this year are distributed in boxes advertising The Little Mermaid. The boys and I were at the store one day and Henry kept wanting to go down the candy aisle. Of course I assumed that he wanted me to buy some candy, but then it hit me that he was excited about the display. So I emptied the Snickers bags out of one of the boxes and took it up to the register with us. I asked the cashier if we could have the box, because my son is really into Disney stuff. She said "I don't see why not" but asked a manager just to be sure. I'm sure they thought we were odd, but I don't care. Henry was thrilled with the box!
Henry didn't talk about this big event yesterday morning, but they called me at work yesterday afternoon to remind me. Bill said that Henry shouted "It's October third" before he even got off the school bus.
I stopped to buy a copy on my way home. (It would have been fun for Henry to get to go to the store with me, but I didn't want to have to leave once I got home.)
We watched the movie and admired all the packaging. And guess what? Peter Pan Special Edition will be released sometime in the spring. Henry woke up this morning wanting to "check it out" on the computer and "print Peter Pan Special Edition." I have to admit that I'm a little frustrated by this- can't we even enjoy the new movie for a day before moving on to the next one?!
_________
Thomas has strep throat (or "stripe throat" as Henry calls it). Yesterday morning he fell asleep while watching the Wiggles (who can sleep during the Wiggles?! You know he is sick!) I carried him up to bed and even put a pullup on him and he still kept sleeping.
It was hard not to laugh when he came down the stairs a couple hours later, his bedhead standing on end. He sounded so confused and his voice was all hoarse from coughing when he said "mommy, I was just wonderin', why was it night-night time?"
That's the news for now. Anyone watching Lost tonight?

explanation

Tara, you are not a ditz! I was thinking that I should explain bloglines here anyway... I didn't know about it until another of my blogging friends mentioned it a couple times and I took the risk of sounding like a dummy and asked her about it. You go to bloglines.com and "subscribe" to all the blogs you like to read. Then you can just check that one site and see who has updated. I only have 7 subscribers, I think, and one of those is myself. But for some reason it is making me feel totally rejected to have bloglines ignore my feed!! After Tara updated to Beta I was still able to see her blog. But I think ever since I updated mine has not been working. I tried re-subscribing and I think others have too, but it hasn't worked. So, that's what bloglines is. Check it out. And if anyone new subscribes to me and it works, let me know.

Yesterday we ran out to buy a new printer cartridge. We burned through the color cartridge pretty quickly, with all Henry's printing and the papers Kate needs to print for school. I tried telling Henry "the printer isn't working" to put him off and avoid the time and expense involved in buying a new cartridge. Well, that didn't even last a day. It turns out that printing a page has become his transition off of the computer. When he is able to print, he takes the paper with him and leaves the computer without a complaint or a look back.

But Friday night, when he had to get off the computer and couldn't print a page...

He couldn't eat his dinner, he couldn't watch a movie--I was even willing to watch the Power Rangers DVD- just me and him! (Daddy and Tommy went to the high school football game together and had a ton of fun!)

All he could do was talk about the thing he wanted to print, and when could he print it? Maybe tomorrow? Maybe later? We do have a new printer cartridge! The printer is working! Mommy, I want to print Power Rangers...

It went on until he fell asleep, still talking about it. And it was the first thing he said when he woke up.

So we went to Staples and bought 2 printer cartridges- color will only be for special occasions, black in white will be the default. Sheesh. This kid has me trained.

It has been a boys' football weekend. Bill took Tommy to the game Friday night, and then took Henry to a local college game yesterday.

I guess that's all to report for now. Hope you are all having a beautiful weekend.

test

This is really just a test to see if bloglines is picking up my posts again.

Tommy has worn or carried the Human Torch costume with him everywhere this week.

Henry kicked his speech therapist Tuesday (!) but he told me about it as soon as I walked in the door. I told him that he needs to "use his words" instead of hurting people and he replied "I didn't know what to say." I'm not sure if that's true or he's just b.s.-ing me.

But the rest of his week at school was good.

Have a good weekend and I'll write a real post soon.

thinking positive

I've been feeling a little low lately, but here are a couple good things from last night:

The new session of gymnastics classes started for Tommy. Each class starts out with all the kids in a circle to warm up. During the spring session, Tommy would sit on my lap the whole time, his eyes wide, watching, but not participating.

Last night he hopped right up and mirrored every move the teacher made! It was pretty cool to see the difference a few months can make. He has gained a lot of confidence between 2 and 2 1/2.

One of Henry's therapists from preschool was there with her son, the same age as Tommy. It was nice to visit with her. Ironically, her son stayed on her lap almost the entire class, and cried when the teacher tried to talk to him. I've sure been in that position- the mom with the kid who is traumatized. It's a funny feeling to be the mom with the well-adjusted kid! (Knock on wood. I've probably jinxed us and now he'll have a tantrum next week.)

Bill did something so smart last night. I'm sure I've written before about how Henry picks his food apart. If I haven't written about that it's because I don't even notice it anymore- it's just how he eats. He eats EVERYTHING with his fingers. I mean even yogurt and cereal with milk. I kind of half-heartedly suggest that he use a spoon, and he usually responds "I already used a spoon yesterday!"

Even foods the rest of us eat with our hands, like pizza, get extra-torn-apart by Henry. It gives him some kind of sensory comfort to pick his food apart with his fingers, rather than take bites. It's gotten to the point where Tommy tattles on his brother: "Mommy, 'Enry is picking his food." Which is kind of strange because I don't usually scold Henry for doing that, but I do usually praise Thomas for using his silverware, or for taking bites, so I guess he thinks that by pointing out Henry's inadequacies, he'll get more praise?

Anyway, last night the boys were having chicken patty sandwiches and corn. Except Henry didn't want the bun, and was just picking the breading off his chicken patty. Bill started playing this game that he had told me about before, but I had never witnessed: he thinks of an animal that "chomps", and gives the boys clues such as I'm thinking of an animal that lives in the ocean and has a head shaped like a hammer. You can tell that both boys are really thinking about it, and then one of them will shout out "a hammerhead shark!" And then Henry will chomp his food like a shark. Brilliant.

He ate 2 chicken patties that way and even some of his corn!!!! And the best part is you can tell both boys are really having fun. After each bite, Henry will say "Daddy, please think of another animal!"

Just when I feel like I don't know how to "think outside the box" anymore, my husband comes to the rescue.

I am thinking about starting over with a new blog since this one is acting so weird- but I wonder if I can start over in "regular" blogger or if it'd have to be beta? Well, I'll keep you posted.
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Even though I love this time of year, I feel really... off... lately. I can't quite put my finger on why. Just grumpy and easily frustrated and bored, even though I'm too busy to be bored. Maybe frustrated that I'm too busy to be bored. Maybe I have trouble with transitioning to a new school schedule and season? I've never had a problem with my birthday before, but it is coming up in a few weeks- maybe that's the problem?

I know so many other moms who work, go to school, exercise, cook yummy stuff, homeschool their kids, start support groups, write beautiful blog entries... Why can't I do a fraction of those things, and keep my house clean?

Or, setting my sights on a lower goal: why can't I go to the bathroom or have a conversation with my husband without a certain 2-year-old screaming in my face about Spiderman? Or that he needs to use the potty right now too and "waa waa waa" he doesn't want to use the other bathroom, he wants to use this same bathroom!

And blogger isn't working right, and neither is my computer at home, which not only ticks me off, but also the teenager and the first-grader.
Ppppphhhhttt. Enough of that.
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I had a meeting with Henry's teacher Friday morning. She is really great and I feel silly that I was put off by my first impression on the phone. She said that what they are working on right now with Henry is transitions: he says "I already did that yesterday!" when asked to go to any new activity (even lunch). Talking about this made us both laugh, but it is a serious issue. A kid can't get through school by protesting at each and every transition.

(Last year at this time we were happy if he didn't pinch or knock over a chair at transition time, so we are doing fine.)

She also said "Sometimes we have trouble getting him to eat his lunch. But then Kate comes over to talk to him. I don't know what she whispers in his ear, but he eats his lunch after that!"

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Pretending I'm famous:

1. What is your favorite word?
This question has stumped me the most. I guess I'll say "effusive". I used this word to describe my husband when we were first dating, and it made him think I was smart.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Juice-ee" said by Tommy, as in "I want my juice-ee!" It's a babytalk thing that he learned from an older kid at L's house and it totally grates on my nerves whenever he says it.

3. What turns you on? (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?)
sincerity. Life is too short and too precious to waste it by being insincere.
peace and quiet

4. What turns you off?
Well, the opposite of the above.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Hmmm. Each has its place. But I think "sonofabitch" rolls off the tongue nicely. Not when directed at a person, but more as an exclamation when I spill something,etc.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
laughter

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
commercials. I have trained my husband to mute all commercials.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Umm, this isn't exactly a profession, but I've been thinking that if I didn't have to work at my real job anymore, and could stay home, I would like to try being a foster parent.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Bill collector

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"You were right about everything."

Thanks for the tag, MOM. This was fun. Please, anyone reading, answer the questions yourselves and let me know...

Oh, and APE stands for Adapted Physical Education. I'm sure every state/county calls it something a little different.

Gosh, maybe I should change the name of this blog to "things that irritate me" since that's what I talk about every day! But here's one more:

There's this woman, a wife of a co-worker. I was talking to her the other day about the kids starting school. Her son has some medical issues and developmental delays, and is in a special-needs preschool class. We were talking about therapies our kids receive, and I told her that one day recently Henry piped up "I had OT today!"

That statement kind of set me back. It somehow made me sad that my kid gets special services and talks about them. Not that he should be ashamed of it, but more like I thought he didn't know what OT and PT and speech and APE were- that he would just think they were part of every kid's school day. But it turns out that he knows that OT is called OT. Huh.

So I told her that it kind of freaked me out that Henry said this, and she replied, "oh, really. That doesn't bother me at all. I have no problem with that. T knows which teachers work on which therapies- I think it's great."

This woman is kind of like that all the time, about any subject- so it's not surprising that she said this. But still it pissed me off. Sorry that I'm not as FINE with my kid's special needs as you are, perfect mom!
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Here are a couple cool pictures from that trip to the aquarium:


This shark was swimming over our heads!

Here's what I see when I try to read my blogs on the computer at home:

We made banana bread a couple weekends ago- one of our favorite things to do, and both boys can be helpers. I have no idea why Henry had to lift his shirt up right at that moment?

I gotta tell you this before I forget: last night I was getting ready to read with Henry in his bed. I said "you know what?" (this is a little game we play- we've said it so many times that he knows we are going to say "I love you") and he replied "I love you too."

Then I said "I love you even more than that. I love you so much."

Henry held my hand, looked into my eyes, and shouted "please don't cry!"

I am quite the crier, but actually had no tears in my eyes at that moment- didn't feel any coming on. My voice wasn't quivering or anything. I don't think I've ever started crying while expressing my love to Henry. I don't know where his exclamation came from! Unless it was something he's seen in a movie or tv show.

(Here's another thing that irritates me: I've been trying all day to make spaces in between these lines above, but they will not take. Blogger is trying to drive me crazy.)

inequity

I know a woman who was unable to have children.

She and her husband adopted a beautiful daughter who brightened their lives. At one year old the child fell from her crib and died.

The couple went on to adopt two more children: a son and a daughter.

While those children were still in school, their father, a high school principal and football coach, suffered a stroke and died.

This woman raised her children on her own after that, giving them a warm, loving, happy home, and as "normal" a childhood as can be expected, when one has lost one's father.

Her daughter went to college, married, and now has 5 children, and they see their Grandma almost every day.

Her son suffered a stroke more than 10 years ago, so she continues to care for him.

I'm sure this woman feels blessed, and she is. I know she is not bitter about the tough times that life has shown her.
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I know another woman who has suffered great loss and pain in her life.

Both these women are kind, gentle, loving mothers, who have always made their families their top priority.
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I know a third woman, and hear of many others like her, who has been blessed with many children, and multiple (decent, it seems) husbands. But she continues to make herself her top priority, without a care for those around her.

Why does this happen? Some will say that God gives hardship to those who can handle it. I don't like that theory. I like to believe that good things will happen to good people and bad things will happen to bad people.

But sometimes real life doesn't play along with my theory.

Oh- sorry to louse things up by upgrading. I'd better figure out how to use some new features and make it worth everyone's while. You know something funny? Once I upgraded, there was this notice that I had comments to be moderated. I've never (purposely) set up comment moderation. So there were some comments from some of you from last November that I never saw until now. Weird.

Henry had his 7-year checkup yesterday. He is 44 inches tall and weighs 42 lbs. I don't really expect anyone to care about that, but feel that I need to record that information somewhere, so when I am asked how much Henry weighed when he was 7 I'll be able to answer. Bill took him to the appointment and reported that Henry did a great job cooperating and answering all the doctor's questions. He seems to be in good health, and his weight puts him in the 25th percentile, so he's not the teeniest 7-year-old ever.

Isn't this the best time of year? Today the sky is cloudless and almost a periwinkle blue. The leaves are just starting to fall, but for the most part everything is still green. The air at night is so cool and crisp that I feel like I could sleep forever. My kids seem to feel that way too- it's hard to wake them up in the morning.

I bought the boys their Halloween costumes this weekend- but will not reveal what they are until I have pictures from trick-or-treating. They are so damn cute in their costumes that I can hardly stand it. Does anyone remember the scene in E.T when the kids are going trick-or-treating and the mom is squealing about how cute they look, and taking their picture? Every year I hear myself doing that to my own children. I have become that kind of mom that I used to laugh at.

(I tried to find a photo on the internet of that scene I'm talking about, but didn't have any luck. What a great movie ET was...)

Anyway, we bought the costumes at this discount/closeout kind of store. Just Thomas and I were shopping, and that kid is such a joy to be around. He gets all excited and says "oh, mommy look at dis!" about everything, from holiday decor to bath towels to shoes. He is excited about everything, but is able, willing even, to move on and TRANSITION to the next exciting thing, which is very different from his brother.

With Henry, I always have to have an alternate plan, an emergency plan, try to predict what he will like the best and do that first, or maybe do that last, depending on the situation. It's relaxing to not have to be one step ahead at all times. (I guess I already talked about that when I took Tommy to the library one day. But it bears repeating.)

This morning, out of the blue, Tommy said "I will use my cape and fly into Piglet's Big Movie and I will save the scrapbook." (If you're not familiar with Piglet's Big Movie, Piglet has made a scrapbook with pictures of all his friends. Two of the friends- I think Tigger and Rabbit- argue over the book, ultimately dropping it into the river, where it is washed away.)

I have a meeting with Henry's teacher planned for Friday morning, and am anxious to hear how she feels about the first month of school. She writes me notes every day, of course, but those are so brief and talk about Henry's mood that particular day, rather than her overall impressions.