When will I learn that drinking a larger size coffee doesn't make my brain work better? It only makes it work faster and more maniac-ly (not taking the time to figure out if that's a real word or not. See what I mean?) Some things I'm thinking about this week:
-Should I investigate the autism school in our area? The one that we looked into back when Henry was 4 and didn't have a diagnosis yet. He's doing pretty well in our public school so far, but his success seems completely hinged on Mrs. C pulling the right tricks. On days she is out sick or because her children have a snowday (as has happened A LOT in the past month), half of his progress flies out the window and has to be re-built. How great would it be if the whole school were full of teachers who get it?
Henry has been having more 3-star days than 5-star for the past few weeks. Nearly every day he says he "feels sick" and should stay home from school. When I try to press him further on what feels sick, he (as has been the case for his whole life) cannot tell me. So I have been ignoring it.
His eating has become even more particular- he won't eat pasta and sauce anymore and I have resorted to trying different sauces and different shapes of pasta (he always asks for "the seashell kind".)
It seems like something is up. His teacher has not been sending homework home regularly either for the past few weeks, making it hard for us to keep a routine at home. Perhaps she is just very busy right now with IEPs, etc. But, again, I'd love it if my son could be in an environment where everything does not rely on ONE teacher.
-Henry has been asking to "sleep longer in your bed", meaning he wants to fall asleep in our bed and stay there. He never ever did this as a younger child, it is relatively new, and again makes me wonder what is up.
-What will Henry do this summer? Let's search the internet... Here's a super-cool looking program right near our house, but it costs twice as much a week as the Easter Seals program he's attended in the past. I wonder if there is funding out there that Henry could qualify for? Where would I look? Who would I ask? I'll add it to my to-do list.
It seems like my to-do list is always growing. I know that's true with everyone.
I'm not sure what's bringing on this frenzy. Could be the closing of the jury duty chapter in my life. Could be the impending IEP meeting. Could be the house-cleaning I attempted this weekend. Could be the feeling that winter will be ending soon and spring is coming. Could be the realization that my high school senior (pictured above enjoying the snow) is getting ready to graduate soon.
Operation Forced Independence was fairly successful this weekend. I seem to be the only one for whom this is a big deal. I hadn't even told Bill of my Big Plan, but when Henry asked for sausage for dinner Friday night, I proclaimed "you can learn to make it yourself!" Bill didn't miss a beat, but walked Henry through how to open up the package and put the sausage links in the microwave. Kinda makes me think Bill's been trying to do this for awhile.
Saturday Henry made himself some sausage again (the kid will eat pork sausage links for every meal) and some waffles in the toaster. He didn't eat the waffles, though. (I feel that way sometimes, that a meal just isn't as good if I have to make it myself.) He also spooned out some mixed fruit for himself (pictured above).
Sunday he asked for waffles and I told him to come in the kitchen and we'd make them together. At that he changed his mind and said he wanted cereal with milk. I made him help with that also, but I guess it's a little less involved. And he can still see the tv while pouring cereal and milk.
I have had him get out his own pajamas and put them on by himself every night, and attempted to show him how to run his own bath Sunday night. I made a better effort to have him clean up one thing before getting out another. This is a never-ending battle with a kid who likes to have 3 puzzles out at once and all the prints and books related to a certain move spread out around him at any given time.
He didn't really protest too much at any of this, and I think this will need to be a new state of mind for all of us.
One note I do need to make to Kyra and all you other brave homeschoolers: I don't think my son would respond to this direction as easily if his teachers hadn't already "broken him in" for me. He has learned a lot of "if/then" instruction from school, and a lot of "you can do it by yourself".
Heck, I would still be helping him go to the bathroom if he hadn't gone off to kindergarten and I realized that his teacher probably doesn't pull down his pants for him and put him on the toilet! I'm not kidding, that was a huge realization for me.
I am a big big believer in getting help and advice from as many good sources as I can (this blog being just one example of that.) I have learned so much from friends, family, teachers and childcare providers who have shared their wisdom and philosophies with me.
Given all this reliance on others to help me, I am simply awestruck by homeschooling moms. Of course I hope that you have a good support network of other adults and professionals just as I do. But your day-to-day contact with them has to be minimal when you're down in the trenches teaching an oppositional child how to read or write or add.
I have had him get out his own pajamas and put them on by himself every night, and attempted to show him how to run his own bath Sunday night. I made a better effort to have him clean up one thing before getting out another. This is a never-ending battle with a kid who likes to have 3 puzzles out at once and all the prints and books related to a certain move spread out around him at any given time.
He didn't really protest too much at any of this, and I think this will need to be a new state of mind for all of us.
One note I do need to make to Kyra and all you other brave homeschoolers: I don't think my son would respond to this direction as easily if his teachers hadn't already "broken him in" for me. He has learned a lot of "if/then" instruction from school, and a lot of "you can do it by yourself".
Heck, I would still be helping him go to the bathroom if he hadn't gone off to kindergarten and I realized that his teacher probably doesn't pull down his pants for him and put him on the toilet! I'm not kidding, that was a huge realization for me.
I am a big big believer in getting help and advice from as many good sources as I can (this blog being just one example of that.) I have learned so much from friends, family, teachers and childcare providers who have shared their wisdom and philosophies with me.
Given all this reliance on others to help me, I am simply awestruck by homeschooling moms. Of course I hope that you have a good support network of other adults and professionals just as I do. But your day-to-day contact with them has to be minimal when you're down in the trenches teaching an oppositional child how to read or write or add.
7 comments:
I am a lot like that too, Gretchen. I still do things for my son at home that he clearly can (and does) do for himself when I'm not around.
I think you are on to something with the school and the teacher. I say this only because after reading your post, it dawned on me that the times when our public school has done a great job for my son, it was really the efforts of one special teacher who made things happen.
It would be so nice to have an actual team of people--we talk about it, we reference it, but the truth is, we don't really have a team. And a team would be good.
Let us know what you decide.
Wow, that's a chock-full post! You know, I never even thought about the fact that **even at the special school Nik attended** he always did better b/c of one or two specific individuals. (That has a lot to do, I think with Nik's sort of "mixed bag" of disabilities that they haven't ever quite encountered before.)
I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on the other school if you decide to check it out. I hope it's a good fit and can give Henry more consistent support.
Sounds like "Operation Independence" is moving along alright. I'm sure there will be ups and downs as he gets used to doing for himself.
I look forward to learning the lessons from you as you blaze the trail! :-)
I enjoyed your update on "Operation Independence." A very timely issue for us as I have been trying to encourage SB to do more things for himself lately. I too am guilty of doing things for him that he no doubt could do for himself.
Unfortunately I should have started this operation a long time ago (now it's sort of by necessity as a result of my needing to be off my feet). Needless to say, there's been a lot of resistance but I am starting to see small steps forward.
I so wish TC's teacher would get it!
yay for operation independence!
when i read that you have a high school senior i thought of my sister whose only child is graduating this year. it's HUGE. a huge deal for her, for him, and i can imagine it must be for you both, too.
homeschooling is hard and wonderful. it's both. i could use more help, yes, more adults in on the action, offering their perspective, ideas, input. maybe we'll get that next year but i have benefited tremendously from the good therapists we've had and the steady stream of sitters and playroom helpers over the last few years. but more. more are needed. for homeschoolers and regular schoolers alike, yes?
Gretchen, I think it's something about the age that Henry is now. It was right on the cusp between being 5 and now (gulp!) 9 and then 10 and 11 in two months that Charlie started to have more trouble, and specifically behavior trouble. A lot of the old strategies did not seem to work and I feared, too, that he only made it through because one person---one teacher, one aide----knew how to help him. Does he not get any ESY services in the summer? Can you point to his recent difficulties as a reason for needing more services and more over the summer?
I really like "Operation Independence." It was just last year that Charlie started to use the microwave---does he love it. He also has some visual schedules to help him---simple strips of photos with a word or two. Maybe that would help the operation.....
Always good to read about you and your family and can't believe Kate will be graduating!
Love the "Operation Independence!"
I remember making pot roast at 8 for my family, and I panicked the other day. Miss M is turning 9!
I too, am pushing the independence.
Miss M cooked the family ravioli and broccoli last night.
It was the best meal she'd ever eaten. She ate every last bite.
And she doesn't even like ravioli.
The school thing - sigh. I know. I hear you. Get clear and put out a very specific vision of what you and Henry want and need. Assume nothing and keep plugging away. It'll find you.
Sending you my hardest soul-sister hugs.
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