I was raised to hate bumper stickers. Or at least to disapprove of them. My father never hid his contempt for bumper stickers. (Or his contempt for mini vans. Or maybe it was more contempt for the drivers of mini vans.) I don't know, you just sort of absorb and interpret these things as a child, and maybe I've actually got it all wrong. I just know that I grew up thinking bumper stickers were kind of tacky and rude: the driver is assuming that we all really give a s*%t about his opinion; those of us who just happen to be stuck behind him in traffic.
I was thinking about this today as I merged into morning rush-hour traffic behind a minivan. Our state offers an "autism awareness" license plate. My car carries one and so did the vehicle in front of me. I smiled. Then I noticed this van had one of those black and white oval stickers in its rear window that read AUT. I spent some time (I was behind it for quite awhile, and listening to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack, the soon-to-be-4-year-old's current favorite) trying to decipher what was playing on the minivan's DVD player.*
I recognized Elmo, and smiled again. I wondered about the child in the minivan, and the parent. I felt a friendliness toward them without ever catching sight of their faces. And I wondered about a disorder that can create a relationship where there would never have been one otherwise.
I was amused by the thought that a bumper sticker could bring people together, and thought "well this is about something more important than your average bumper sticker."
But maybe that's the thing- as passionate as I feel about my son and the autism community- maybe that's how passionate some people feel about their football team, or their membership in the NRA, or their belief that the president is a dumba$$.
If I didn't have my Henry, what would help me feel a connection to a stranger? I'm glad I'll never have to find out.
*Is anyone else afraid they're going to get in an accident one day, trying to watch what is showing in another car on the highway? I find other cars' DVD players highly distracting.
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I noticed another big honda van just like ours, same colour, same autism awareness sticker on the back. It's a startling connection......that two sets of parents could buy the same car!
If I find you trying to watch someone else's DVD again I'll nip round and slap your wrists!
Cheers
Interesting ponderings for sure. And,um, yeah, what Maddy said about watching DVDs while driving! LOL
I loved this post. I am often thinking of how the connectedness I have gained from being my son's mother simply outweighs by the bucket fulls the grief I used to feel.
wonderful, gretchen. you put into words my feelings exactly! i especially love your last line.
That is the exact reason that I have the "Autism: It's not like you think" bumper sticker on my rear view window. I want to make people do exactly what you did today. And, I generally hate bumper stickers, too. :-)
other cars' DVD players make me ill-----eyes on the road and just saw an AUT sticker the other day.
I feel the exact same way when I see another car sporting the autism awareness sticker. I also dislike bumper stickers and would never put one on my car. In fact, if I remember correctly, my mom purchased the autism ribbon that's been on my car for the past few years.
I love this post.
And I have to get an AUT bumper sticker.
I have never seen a DVD playing in a minivan! My goodness! How dangerous!
I had an Autism Awareness bumper sticker but lost the thing. I thought someone took the sticker off and remembered I went through the car wash- went back to the car wash and the guy who is working the wash pulls out this box with tons of stickers. I found mine! It's amazing because there were at least two more of the same sticker that I had in the box.
It's funny how our children open up so many avenues for us. I had such a hard time making friends before my kids were born but now find I can strike up a conversation with any other parent and always have something to discuss. It's like there's certain clubs you join as soon as you get pregnant.. the pregnant person club, the newborn Mom club, sometimes sadly the miscarriage club, the special needs club, the toddler mom club... All these interesting ages and stages open up new possibilities and connections. I think when we have children we give birth to hundreds of possible new relationships. And what a glorious thing that is.
(followed the link from KC's Mom's blog)
That's funny...I blogged a few months ago about seeing a woman with about 4 different pride stickers in various places on her Rav4.
"I love my gay son" read one of them.
It really struck me that she was in a way advertising that her son was gay.
Then I started thinking about my ribbon on the back of the van and I wondered if people looked in our van and wondered "which one is autistic" or tried to figure out which one it was when we get out of the van in a parking lot.
So I took it off.
I see SO MANY autism awareness ribbons now I wonder if the owner of the vehicle has a child on the spectrum or if they just know someone who does.
The dvd thing...I completely agree!
I've been wanting to get a bumper sticker but can't decide on which one. I dislike the puzzle pieces so that is pretty limiting. But I kind of like the AUT one. ...
I once saw a boy at the pool that I thought was on the spectrum and after we left I cruised the parking lot looking for a bumper sticker, which at the time I thought was kind of weird. But I guess it isn't really. We all like to feel connected.
You've been kind of quiet lately. Hope all is going well with you.
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