Let's start off with the bad news, in order to end on a high note:
-Thomas has an ear infection. It's not causing him any discomfort, because the tubes are doing their job of draining the pus. It's yucky because it looks like snot is running out of his ear, and I need to figure out something to plug/cover his ears for swimming.
This morning he said "mommy, when I walk like this (marching), the drops in my ears make a funny sound." When he is able to communicate details like that to me, it makes me realize how little Henry is able to tell me. It is very difficult for Henry to identify anything that is going on with his body, much less translate that to an adult. Bittersweet.
Well, I guess that's all the bad. Now on to the good:
-Kate got a job for the summer- making subs at a new restaurant up the street. She seems really excited about it.
-We got a new (used) car! It's a 2004 Chrysler Pacifica in the red color. Our minivan and our Honda Civic were both over 10 years old and had over 100,000 miles. Driving this car makes me feel the way I felt when we first bought our house and had central air and a dishwasher: like I'm an imposter. Surely I can't be enough of a grownup to have a house with a dishwasher, or a car with a CD player and doors you can lock and unlock with your keychain!! (And don't forget grownup enough to make a car payment every month. Yuck.)
Tommy and I have been listening to the Beach Boys as we drive.
-I have finally found someone to do therapeutic horse-riding with Henry. I know I should wait until we try it to write about it, but I am so excited! I spoke to this woman last night, and then Henry and I had the following exchange:
me: "Henry, do you know who I was just talking to? A woman who is going to teach you how to ride a horse! She said we can come to her farm on Wednesday."
Henry: "She is?" (Eyes wide. He starts kind of dancing excitedly and looking around.) "Daddy, where are you?" (Then he stops and turns back to me) "What is her name?"
me: "Pam. Miss Pam."
Henry again: "Daddy, where are you?" (Bill calls to him from downstairs, but then Henry turns to me again) "On which day? On June sixth?"
me: "yes, on Wednesday- June sixth."
Once he finally had all the pertinent details, Henry danced on downstairs to tell Daddy. Henry kept saying "I can't believe it!" And it took him awhile to fall asleep last night.
I hope the experience lives up to the excitement.
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10 comments:
Gretchen,
Reading about Kate and her schoolwork reminds me so much of me. I was a master at not doing the work and even now, as an adult, I can't really say why. I definitely approached learning more seriously when I was in college, but my performance in high school left me with grades and an SAT score that locked me out of nearly every university in the country. I was lucky in that I managed to pull myself together during two years at a community college—enough so to transfer to and graduate from a four-year university.
I look back on all of it and I'm a little ashamed of how much time I wasted and how little I cared. Being a teenager was hard and scary and I didn't do a good job of it.
I'm sure this doesn't make you feel any better, but here's something: I do think if an adult (other than mom or dad) had tried to motivate me or shown an interest in me or simply said I'm failing you because I care...it would have gotten my attention.
Good luck. And keep us posted on the horseback riding...
I was master of doing just enough to get good grades. I didn't overextend on homework. My brother was similar to me, but justdidn't bother with the work at all. Maybe if they had held him back in 6th grade like they wanted to (my Mom wouldn't allow it)it would have straightened him out sooner - as it was he's just graduated NJIT with his BA!!! (at 32 :-) ) - sometimes it takes a while to get your head on straight.
High school is rough - not only are you working on what will be looked at when you decide to do something like further education afterward - but you're in the middle of your teens and filled with horemonal angst!!! How brutal!
Ooo the Pacifica - Nice, nice. I drooled over the pacifica for a while myself! I know what you mean about the imposter - every once i n a while I have to remind myself that I'm old enough and experienced enough to be a grown up. But I still feel like a 'kid' inside!
Horse riding sounds wonderful. I was on a waiting list here for Ky, but never heard anything - maybe it's time to follow up.
I am glad that Kate is excited about her new job. I hope it brings her some new friends and is a positive experience. I know some of my best teenage memories were from my summer job at the ice cream parlor.
Very exciting about the horse back riding. This is something I have been wanting to do with Roo also. I am thinking maybe the Fall. I hope Henry loves it.
New cars always make me feel so grown up too.
Ok, not to get all nerdy on you but, is it possible that Kate is bored in her English class? I struggled so much with certain subjects in HS that I actually almost failed one or two (math & science--not wild about them to this day!). Looking back, I can see that I was bored b/c I didn't see any practical applications to waht I was learning and/or someting about the teacher's style just didn't click with me.
Sometimes, it was a case of my having missed some fundamental element that was constantly built upon. Not wanting to look stupid in class, I never asked for help or clarification and ended up even more lost the further we got into things.
I agree with Kristen about having someone other than parents address the issue. Is there a teacher at school she really looks up to that might be able to help motivate her?
There's something about horses that children like. Boo loves horses :o) I'm sure Henry is going to have a great time. Our babysitter does theraputic horseback riding with older kids who have disabilities. She loves it and the kids have a great time.
I'm not sure what to tell you about Kate. It seems that some really smart kids find homework/ classwork a waste of time. Maybe try and find something that would motivate her. Maybe something she wants to do/have that she can get at the end of each marking period if she meets the conditions.
Kristin
Does Kate ever talk about what she wants to do after HS? Does she want to go to college? If so does she know what she wants to study? I was always bored in school and had trouble applying myself to academics -- in some ways it came too easily to me so it wasn't worth the effort in my young mind. But then I decided that I wanted to be an architect, I joined an Explorers group on Architecture and started to realize that school mattered. Of course I ended up dropping out of my pre-engineering program because I couldn't cut the math but that is beside the point, I guess!
And Hooray about the horse-riding. Keep us posted. I'd love to do that for Oliver but haven't found a program around here.
We bought a used Chrysler Pacifica this year too. We just love it, it is awesome for traveling.
First, I absolutely cracked up at the grown-up thing. I constantly feel the same way. In fact, I'm always wondering when my university is going to call and rescind the diplomas that I couldn't have possibly earned.
Second, I guess it is my turn to say "Conor is so much like Henry". We're planning on doing therapeutic horseback riding, too!! Let me know how it goes with Henry.
So want to try horse riding for Charlie!
I'm thinking about your questions --- a lot of my (college) students have jobs working in retail and waitressing. And at some point I have to say to them, in 10 years, do you want to be doing the job you are doing now, or the job that you are going to college for?
(I get off the soapbox!)
I'm comtemplating a new car---looking for fuel efficiency especially!
Gretchen, I've been reading your blog a while now, but I don't think I have delurked yet.
I also have a 1st grader (now going into 2nd) on the spectrum, and a 3 1/2 year old who is not.
I can totally relate to the bittersweetness you mention with Thomas being able to communicate details to you that Henry cannot. It is the same with my kids.
Looking forward to hearing about the horseback riding!
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