walk on

This always happens. I wait too long to post about one subject, and then another is running up behind it, trying to crowd it out of the way. Sometimes I intend to write one post and put off the other for another day, but that never happens. It usually works better for me to just spout out about all of it, all at once.

So, the horseback riding. We are off to a spectacular start! Henry was so excited when we got to the farm (after mapquest sent us on a delaying detour) that he unbuckled his own seat belt and jumped out of his seat. I've never seen him do that before. He raced/danced around from one fenced area to the next, looking at all the horses.

Ms. Pam was conducting a class with three nine-year-old girls (not a therapeutic class, just a regular riding class). She had each girl introduce herself and her horse to Henry. Then Pam found Henry a helmet, helped him up onto the horse, and led him around the yard. Actually, one of the young girls (named Katie) led the horse, and Pam walked alongside, with her hand on Henry's back. My *&@% camera batteries were dead, but I was at least able to snap a few with my phone.

The horse's name was "T", and Pam told Henry to say "walk on T" to make T go. Henry shouted it with gusto! Then they practiced saying "whoa". After a few times, Katie said, "Ms. Pam, I'm not even making T stop!" The horse was really responding to Henry.

He was only on the horse for maybe 10 minutes, then Katie showed Henry all around the farm. She told him the names of all the other horses, and what kinds of horses they were. It was so cute to see these girls who obviously LOVE horses.

As Pam was gathering some information for me, and trying to schedule our first real lesson, Henry suddenly said "I'm ready to go home." We had been there about 1/2 an hour, and I think all the excitement was suddenly too much for him.

As I relayed this story to a friend, she pointed out that Henry telling me "I'm ready to go home" is a vast improvement over what his behavior might have been a few years ago: screaming, kicking, pinching. These all probably would have been directed at me, at Ms. Pam, even at his new little riding friends. As it was, he tried to hold it together until we could leave. I was just about proud enough to burst throughout this evening!

Unfortunately, we did need to make one more stop after that- the riding store was right down the street, and I wanted to get his helmet then so we would have it for the next lesson. The service was friendly, but slow (it's different out there in the country, I guess :-) and Henry was definitely ready to go home by then. He started saying things like "I don't want this helmet. I don't want to ride a horse. I don't like riding horses. This helmet is not the right size!"

I was so wishing that the salesperson would just ignore him, but instead she seemed quite concerned. "You don't like this helmet? Do you want a different color? Well, your mom just wants to keep you safe. Oh, you have to wear a helmet to be safe."

I was about ready to scream "my son has autism and he's overstimulated by the excitement of all this- just give me the helmet already and let us get out of here!"

It's been awhile since I've felt that way. I somewhat wanted to convey to this woman that my son was autistic, but felt a little awkward to say so right in front of Henry. How have some of you dealt with this kind of situation?
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This week Henry is going to the sitter (L) with Tommy, and then next week the Easter Seals summer program starts. L and I were talking about the week's activities, and I decided I should take Henry to their neighborhood pool ahead of time, so he would know what to expect. It's actually a really nice pool with a huge shallow end and with steps leading into it. But I know Henry, and I know that he will resist doing anything new. (I mean, except riding a horse!)

So I took the boys to the pool on Friday. As I suspected, Henry started repeating "I will just watch. I will not get in the pool." He'll say something like that even as he's walking right toward the steps. But most adults (as I would want them to) will listen to his words and say "OK, you don't have to get in."

I took both boys' hands and walked right in to the pool. Henry started bobbing and splashing and grinning and said "It feels great. I love it!"

Just when I was feeling like champion mother of the month for figuring him out, I looked around. No one else was in the pool. No one. Then I noticed some kids around the edge of the pool giving us dirty looks.

It was adult swim. I had to tell both my sons to get out of the pool again.

Just when I think I'm one step ahead of a situation, I'm actually two steps behind.
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Kate has been working a TON at her new job. Yesterday she worked 11-4 and we decided to walk up to the restaurant for lunch. Henry and Tommy both complained, whined and argued the WHOLE WAY. It can be so discouraging and disappointing to try to have a normal Sunday afternoon family outing and have it nearly ruined by that kind of behavior. Obviously I can't blame it all on autism, because Tommy was doing just as much whining and arguing. But, he is 3. And he is easier to distract from his moods. But when Henry's in a "mood" too, they just egg one another on.

I tried asking Henry if he was anxious because we were going somewhere new. But that excuse doesn't really make sense to me because, while this restaurant was a new place to us, it is on the same street as the library and Starbucks- and you know those places are very familiar. Henry ended up losing his computer privileges for the rest of the day because of how he acted on our walk.