Well, I opened this can of worms and the more I try to write about it, the more I feel like I am failing miserably!
I'm starting to think that the right thing for me to say is- because of Henry's disabilities, I am more aware and appreciative of Tommy's abilities. And vice versa- each one makes me appreciate the other. My life would be beautiful with only either one of my children, but with both of them...
My husband will tell you that I have a lot of "internal dialogues" where I debate my feelings and waffle back and forth a lot. So I think every time I catch myself saying "it's so fun to see Tommy pretending his stuffed bunny is reading a book. Henry never did something like that" I feel GUILTY. Guilty for comparing them.
But because Henry was my first child, this is all really fun for me- I didn't see typical development happen, and it's pretty cool. (Tommy actually did that pretending with the bunny today and I took his picture like a big geek.)
And we know that there will be a day when we wish Tommy was more like his big brother. Like the first time he asks to have a big birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. We'll say "Henry never cared about having a birthday party. Why does this one have to be so high maintenance?" :-)
1 comment:
I second Eileen's comment. Your children are darling and you love them absolutely the same. Trust us, we know exactly what you're saying. It IS about appreciating their differences. Sure, there will be comparisons made, maybe even subconsciously, by you, but that's not knocking one or giving the advantage to another.
I suppose I can't see it completely from your perspective, as my NTs were first, but as a mom, and a mom of an Aspie, I CAN totally understand where you're coming from.
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