Bill and I have been talking lately, about how as parents we tend to take on the blame for our children's mistakes, but not the credit for our children's successes.
If our child makes a "bad" (dangerous, unhealthy, unkind) choice, we think "I didn't teach him well enough". If our child makes a "good" choice, we think "that's as it should be. I guess we didn't screw him up too badly yet." Or "this kid was born with a good head on his shoulders."
What do you think? Nature vs. nurture? Is it realistic to believe in a little of both? Or does the mix vary, child to child?
All this is to say that we had parent teacher conferences for both boys last week, and both went well. Thomas is off to a good start in kindergarten, and I am quick to deflect all credit for this to his caregiver, L, and his 2 years of preschool. Henry, while tracked on a different measuring stick than most in his age group, is happy, learning, reaching out to peers (baby steps) and making progress on his goals. Good news all the way around.
Sunday the four of us went to church for the first time in... well, longer than I can remember. 1 1/2 years? We had drifted away from our previous church, and selecting a new church was a challenge that we didn't face for quite awhile.
The way things shook out this fall, Thomas is attending an after-kindergarten program at a church near our home. He started asking to say a prayer before dinner and read stories in his children's bible and we thought maybe it's time to give this some attention.
Henry has always enjoyed church, particularly "getting a blessing on his head". So he was reasonably excited about going on Sunday. Halfway through the service he looked at me and said "I love this church!" He read along with the service and asked "can I bring this home?" about the program. His eyes lit up when I told him yes. When we went up for communion he asked for a blessing from the pastor with the wafers, the woman distributing the wine, and the young man collecting the empty wine cups! I don't know that they were each qualified to bestow a blessing, but I doubt that God minds.
Do you ever feel like you're just wading through thick mud, in slow motion, when it comes to getting things right for your child? I feel like that a lot. So Sunday felt good. That first step back to church took a long time, but I'm glad we finally got there.
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5 comments:
Not sure why, Gretchen, but this relaly moves me to tears today. So simple (on the surface) and so beautiful. I love the way it seemed to evolve into the right thing over time. Organic, I guess is the word I mean? Whatever it is, I like it. A lot.
Glad to hear things are going well. And yes, slogging through mud? All the time. It's what makes moments like this all the more special.
It's just good to "hear" from you. I'm glad, so glad, for the happy moments.
love.
It is good to see that you are back, each time that I would check, you had not been around. Glad to know that all is well with you guys.
I have the same feelings as do most parents, I believe. So, I can relate to what you have written.
Hugs to all! Hope that you continue to post every now and then so that we know that you and the family are doing well :)
I feel like that a lot, too. Most times.
I'm happy to hear that you have been able to get back to church. I know that we talked about that a lot through my family's church struggles. (incidentally, we have changed churches to one with an amazing special needs ministry) So happy that your family is finding something that works. One foot out of the mud, right?
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