and then he was 5

Flashback: Feb. 21, 2004: It was time to take Thomas home from the hospital. Bill went to pull the car around and the hospital aide arrived to wheel us downstairs in a wheelchair. (Isn't it funny that they escort you out in a wheelchair? It's like one last act of pampering before you are dumped into the cold water of mothering, where you are the caregiver, not the cared-for.) I'm sorry that I can't remember the woman's face or ethnicity; I only remember that her English was a bit broken. As she wheeled me down the hall, she observed "this not your first baby."
It wasn't a question- it was an observation. She could tell by the casual way I held him slung in one arm (and held a flower arrangement in the other) that I had done this before. What she couldn't know was how much different the first baby had been- that I left the hospital without him. I'm not sure why that woman's comment has stuck in my head all these years. I guess it was a glimpse into how I was viewed by others; a mother. A mother who knows what the hell she's doing. Some days I feel like that's accurate, other days- not so much.
No, he wasn't my first baby. But he was my last. And now he's 5.

This month the preschool teachers held conferences to let us know how our children stack up against the kindergarten readiness checklist. Tommy is ready. He knows his letters and numbers and is starting to read!!! I won't lie- it was good to hear them say that he could exhibit skills that many of his classmates can't yet. It felt even better to hear that he is always interested in learning, always participating. What more can I want for my son? Only that he keeps his inquiring mind fresh, and doesn't get bored or stifled as the school years go on.

Preschool has felt different this year. Last year, at the year-end picnic, he still didn't know any of his classmates' names. This year he has really matured a lot and made friends in his class. We invited some of them to his party (at the gymnastics place again), along with old and new friends from L's house.

Yesterday we visited the doctor (and left with an antibiotic prescription for his sinus infection). Tommy told the doctor he is "excited about being 5". He doesn't care about the 3 shots in store at next week's 5-year checkup, except to say "maybe if I'm good they'll give me 3 suckers".

He's a good boy with a good attitude. He's kind and silly and smart and affectionate. He loves Magic School Bus books, he loves to build with legos, he loves to ask questions. He also loves to watch Spongebob and eat Life cereal for every meal. He is a light in my life every day and I am so thankful for him.