four

Mommy, which one is for me? (Looking at my birthstone necklace. His stone is purple.) Oh, thank you mommy! I love purple! It's my favorite. Well, red is my first favorite, but then is purple. Which one is for Kate? Which one is for Henry?

(Seeing that the cooler on the back patio is empty) Daddy, did you drink all the beard?!

Mommy, thank you for this new lamp. This new lamp is really cool. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Thank you for this lamp. Henry, you have a new lamp. See? Off. On. Off. On. Off. On.

Weiner is another name for p*n*s. (Girl who goes to the same sitter) told me that. Yeah, weiner. (Girl who goes to the same sitter) thinks that's funny. Weiner. (Girl who goes to the same sitter) says weiner instead of p*n*s.
(Trying to ignore the subject is not making him stop talking about it. It will be a long summer before Girl who goes to the same sitter starts kindergarten.)

Where do skeletons come from?

How do airplanes know where they're going?

Why did you put Henry's name on his shoes? (Actually, I just put his initials.) What are initials?

Hey, what are these? Scissors?

Mommy, why don't I have any bones in my tummy?
I spilled.
Mommy, who do you want to be: Batman or Robin? You can be Robin. You really can. Even though you're a girl.
In our house, before it was our house, um, who was the family that used to live there?(me, after telling him about the previous owners): That's a really good question Tommy. You are like a detective- you ask a lot of good questions.Yeah. (pause) Mommy, did you know that some plants don't even need sun?! They don't. Daddy told me. Like those pink flowers with the leaves? They don't need sun!

Mommy, I thought I couldn't do it, so I called your name because I wanted you to help me but then I tried it again and I did it!

(me, after he has repeated the same phrase over and over): Why do you keep repeating that?
Because I want you to say it too. That's what Henry does.

Mommy? When I'm five I will call you Mom.