"I did good"

I had to leave work Monday because I was crying. Not just a few tears in my eyes- that happens just about every damn day around here. It was the kind of crying that doesn't seem like it's going to stop anytime soon. So I just ducked out the back door and went home to cry some more and then wash my face.
I don't really want to get into why I was crying- it was just one phone conversation too many about a stressful topic that has been the subject of countless conversations over the past few months.
When I got back to work, my friend said that she had been feeling like her emotions were really "close to the surface" lately. Another work friend told me he had been feeling very emotional over the weekend. So maybe there is something in the air at this time of year. I dunno.
It is the season of weddings (we have 2 in June) and graduations (we hopefully have 2 in June) and thus of new beginnings. I need to get a handle on this emotion thing or I will be bawling my way through the next 6 weeks.
I would like to share something really special that we experienced this weekend, and hopefully somebody out there is still reading.

Saturday Henry had his first Miracle League baseball game. I'm just about the last person you'd catch being all sentimental about a sporting event. But this program is one of the coolest things we've been involved in.

The league is for kids with all sorts of disabilities. Each child is matched up with a "buddy" who helps them play (to whatever degree he or she needs help). Every kid gets a hit and every hit gets on base. Every kid scores a run every time. The final score was 24-24, and something tells me it will be the same next week.

Each player has a nickname, and the announcer plays it up like a real ball game:

Up next for the Marlins is number 1, Hammerin' Henry. Henry hit a single his last time at bat, and has been working on some weight training in the off-season.

If you've been reading here about Henry for any length of time, you know that he's not much into physical activity or, well, anything done outside.

But this was different. Henry fielded just about every ball, with gusto. That's not to say that he actually caught any of them. But he ran and ran and didn't give up. (The kids in the light blue shirts are the buddies. Henry's is the girl in the pink cardigan.)

He was so proud of his two home runs. On the ride home he seemed very dazed- that was a lot of activity and a lot of new stuff to process. But he kept repeating "I did good!"

Also, we had "transitions" lenses put into Henry's glasses, so they turn to sunglasses outside. The sun has always seemed to really bother him, so maybe they are a contributing factor to his enjoyment of baseball. Plus, they make him look really cool.
Another cool aspect of the Miracle League for parents is that we just sit in the stands and watch and cheer. Just like regular proud parents. We chatted with the other grownups around us; parents of both players and buddies.



As a side note, but another contributing factor to my "emotions close to the surface", as we pulled in to the park where these games are held, I realized that I had been there before.
Henry had attended 2 birthday parties here when he was 3 or 4 (pre-diagnosis). Both for kids who were cared for by L also. Both parties went relatively badly- but one stands out in particular. I remember having to carry Henry screaming to the car halfway through the party. He wouldn't leave the gifts alone and of course could not be persuaded that they didn't belong to him.
I remember feeling so frustrated and alone and so sad for Henry because he was missing out on special peer activities.
5 years later, we've both come a long way. My expectations have undoubtedly changed. And Henry's abilities and understanding have brought him far. He listened and followed directions and tried something new that day with bravery and enthusiasm. Yes, the situation had modified rules and expectations. Yes, it was different from the league that other 2nd graders will play in. But it was a success. He did good.