Remember that good/bad post the other day? That's how my life feels all the time lately. A friend asks about my weekend, and I debate: do I tell report the good or the bad? Because we are living a twilight zone of some of each these days. And to dwell on either for too long seems to not give enough attention to the other.I can give the sun-shiney report:
-That Henry attended a different gymnastics class Friday; his teacher feels he is ready to move out of the special needs class and into just a "boys fitness" class. Bill said Henry did a good job and seemed to enjoy being "one of the guys".
-That Tommy went to a crazy bowling-alley birthday party on Saturday; he ran around in circles in his bowling shoes until his hair was plastered to his forehead and his cheeks were tomato-red; he hauled the 6-lb bowling ball up to the lane every time and dropped/threw it down- three times into the gutter (despite the bumpers) and once following up with a kick to get it going.
-That both boys successfully rode their new (from Christmas) bikes all the way to the library (over 1/2 mile from home); that Henry required very little help and rode with the posture and attitude of an old man- slow and steady; Tommy needed quite a bit of help at first- for all the things that come easily to him, riding a bike was not one; but by the trip home he was easily keeping up with his brother, and even "skidded" a couple times (how does he know about skidding?!)
4 comments:
Gretchen, I can feel the rawness in your words this morning and my heart aches for you; I wish I had magic answers but I don't. Having never been through what you are going through, I can only say that I *think* the way you create the stability for the boys is simply by BEING there consistently and modeling the stability and love and compassion for Kate as well. You *can* teach them that sometimes people leave for reasons that have *nothing* to dowith other people* and that not everyone will leave.
For Kate, my prayer for her is that she finds the answers she needs so she can break the cycle for herself.
Sending you hugs and warm thouhts today. xo
Hugs to you Gretchen!
While I don't have the experience of raising a teenage girl - I WAS a teenage girl. With a troubled home life. There were counselors through high school. Some I talked to and yet said nothing. While others I opened up to. Counselors are great - but if she doesn't see the point in going and is totally just going through the motions she won't get nearly as much out of it as she would if she went in wanting them to help her.
My opinion is keep at it. The hope being that she knows she has a safe place to go to talk. Even if it's about things completely unrelated.
She has a family behind her that loves her. That's a great place to start.
Oh Gretchen, reading this made me cry and I wish I could help in some way. I have no advice. Just know that I am here to listen.
{{{HUGS}}}
My heart just aches for you, friend. XOXO
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