Henry's first loose tooth came out on Dec. 23rd. Bill noticed that it was gone after dinner that night, and asked Henry about it:
"Henry! Did your tooth come out?"
"Yes."
"Well where is it?"
"It's on the table."
Except it wasn't on the table, or on the floor, or anywhere else in the house. Bill and I searched for quite awhile, and all we found were LOTS of little white crumbs that could resemble a baby tooth until you squeezed them and they crumbled into even smaller crumbs.
We think he must have swallowed it.
So that was disappointment number one. Despite talking about it for weeks, Henry didn't notice or care when his first loose tooth finally left him.
(Sidebar: baby Henry got his first tooth over Memorial Day weekend, 2000. He was 9 months old and we were visiting my brothers in Chicago. Henry cried and slept a lot all weekend, and voila, a tooth appeared.)
If Henry were a typical kid (well, he probably would have kept track of the tooth, for one thing). But, if he were a typical kid and had misplaced the tooth, he probably would have been distraught about the tooth fairy- will she still bring me some money, without the tooth under my pillow?!
I intended to slip some money under the pillow and say that the tooth fairy magically knows when you've lost a tooth, even if there's no physical evidence.
But the next day was Christmas Eve, and Henry never mentioned the tooth or the tooth fairy. So I just dropped it. I had other fantasy night visitors to worry about: Santa and the reindeer.
I told a few co-workers about this, and they acted like I'm violating some kind of mommy law.
I feel this tug-of-war: should I try to force my autistic child to do "normal" kid stuff, like get really freaked out about the tooth fairy? Or, if he doesn't care, is it ok for me to not care? Am I taking advantage of his autism to get out of doing my mommy duty?
Last night (5 days after the loss of the tooth) I suggested writing a note to the tooth fairy ("Dear Tooth Fairy, My tooth came out on Saturday, but I can't find it. From Henry"). Henry's attitude was basically "if you want to do that mom, knock yourself out." I stuck a $5 bill under his pillow this morning, but he didn't notice it.
So who are all these fairy tales for, anyway?
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8 comments:
I say, if he doesn't care, why push the issue. Maybe he will understand more for the next tooth.
I love the pics in the previous post!!!
Glad you had a nice Christmas and wishing you and your lovely family the happiest 2007!
For us parents.....??.......
Charlie cared more about what was not there after a tooth fell out for a few times; he kept licking the gum where the tooth was----for another tooth, he kept trying to put it back in!
"Mommy laws"? Sounds little like the so-called Mommy Wars. You knwo your child best; you can choose which myths to play with, which to ignore.
That's an interesting thought. Would it be like the father that loves football and wants his son to love it too? Or is it a right of passage kind of thing? I don't know. If he doesn't seem phased by it, then I would do what you're already doing, focusing on what does matter to Henry :o)
Happy New Year!
Good question, I haven't bothered with the myths with Griffin because he doesn't care either it saves me from being disappointed. It seems to me that you have done all that you can to see whether or not he would be interested in the tooth fairy. You are an awesome Mom, keep up the great work. Have a very Happy New Year! Oh, I love the photos, the boys are really growing up and they are so very handsome.
Let me tell you my story too please. When my son Connor lost his first tooth he knew the Tooth Fairy was going to come into his room and put $ under his pillow.We had prepared him for weeks while the tooth was still in the wiggling stage. When the tooth came out he told no one and when we noticed it was out he said he had thrown it in the backyard because he didn't want the fairy to come into his room while he was sleeping. Dad looked on his hands and knees in the grass for an hour for his only child's first tooth but it was not to be found. We kept up the facade by having him leave his tooth in a napkin on the kitchen table whenever he lost one after that and he was okay with that. Now at 14 he still beleives in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny etc and we can't stop him from believing NO MATTER WHAT WE SAY. If I could go back I wouldn't go for the whole myths of childhood thing.
Wow - Deedee's story is rather impressive. But, Gret, listen - no biggie. The only people that care about the mommy laws and codes are the ones who are looking for the status and the "My kid is better than your kid because I did this particular thing better than you did," justification.
If Henry's not too terribly worried, then why worry yourself. He may come to wonder with the next tooth, and then, go for it, but if not, then don't sweat it.
Hope you guys had a good Christmas!
I agree - no big deal to ignore the tooth fairy. We were scared how our son was going to handle the loose tooth in his mouth - we were sure it would freak him out. Turns out he loved to wiggle it and had no problem getting it out.
As for the tooth fairy, we have a hard enough time explaining to him the things he can see, let alone the things he can't. :)
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