Take this picture, for example:
Tommy was doing a great job with his fork. But then he noticed that his brother never likes to use a fork, and his brother likes to scoop all the icing off a slice of cake with his fingers. Now Tommy likes to eat with his fingers too.
He has also started using some of Henry's phrases when he's in trouble, like "I don't know!" or "I'm running away from you!"
How do I tell my 2.5 year old "yes, I know that your older brother does that, but it's not ok for you to do it"?
At some point we will have to discuss that Henry has some disabilities that prevent him from doing the same things as Tommy. But I don't think that Tommy's ready to understand that yet. For now I have tried saying things like "it's not ok for Henry to get so rough when you play. Sometimes it's hard for Henry to listen to my words and remember them. And sometimes it's hard for Henry to use HIS words."
And then I always try to acknowledge when Thomas "uses his words" and tell him what a great job he's doing. It's tricky, because I don't want Tommy to feel like he's "better" than his brother. But he IS better than Henry at doing some things...
What do you think?
2 comments:
Oh, this is something that I think about all the time. When Oliver does a good job eating with his fork I make a big deal about it but hardly bat an eye when Sam does it because of course Sam, who is only 19 months old, eats well with his spoon and fork all the time. So I forget to also tell Sam how proud I am of him. There are lots of things like that happening during the day. And we also have the issue of Sam copying not-so-desireable behaviors of Olivers. Mostly I just try to ignore it and figure that Sam will figure it out on his own as he gets older. I also feel guilty sometimes because I enjoy how typical Sam is. ... Oh well. They are both so different and extraordinary in their own way. I hope I communicate that to them everyday.
I think you are handling it just fine. Thomas is too young to really get it yet, so keep doing what your doing and I am sure it will all work itself out with time.
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