Sorry about that last post- I was truly feeling sorry for myself, and doubting myself because I had done something stupid. When I'm feeling that way, every little stupid thing like taking out the trash seems to weigh on me. Anyway, thanks for the pity party.

Oh, and my boss gave me a Starbucks gift card on Friday for "staff appreciation week"- perfect timing, eh? I'll not be without my non-fat latte for the next few weeks, at least.

We had a nice weekend. Bill's office had their company "picnic" at a bowling alley this year. We tried to prepare for the worst, hope for the best. And we were pleasantly surprised with a fun afternoon. When we first got there we were initially waylaid by the video arcade, and I was concerned that one of us would have to stand in there with Henry while the others bowled. But I had a hunch that Henry would enjoy watching the bowling, if we could get him away from the video games, and I turned out to be right. He did his excited, running-in-place, hand-flapping, humming happy dance and cheered for each person as they bowled.

Tommy was totally into it, and would grab his 7-lb bowling ball and walk right up to the lane when it was his turn! We had bumpers and a ramp to assist the kids with actually getting the ball down the lane. (I've been noticing something lately: as Tommy's development and physical growth catch up to Henry, it's as if they are closer in age than they really are. It's pretty cool, and gives me hope that they will continue to grow into playmates. But it makes me wonder also, how long until Thomas passes Henry by?)

After bowling, we were invited back to a co-worker's house. This, also, went surprisingly well. There were 2 other first-graders there, and I had a couple of those moments when you're punched in the gut by how "un-typical" your child is. But they weren't really like punches in the gut this time, more like a tap on the shoulder. I would notice it and then shrug and move on.

The mutual interest in Star Wars was enough to give the kids a little common ground. Henry stayed in the house and looked at the resident boy's books, calendars and movies. He then requested to watch The Return of the Jedi.

I also think my frame of mind helped make the evening comfortable. I used to feel uncomfortable that my kid wanted to stay in and watch a movie, while all the other kids were playing ball outside. But as we have grown accustomed to having a child with an ASD, and as our family, friends and co-workers become accustomed to the idea, it now just feels easy to say "Hey, is it all right if Henry looks through your movies? That's something he enjoys doing." And no one seems to bat an eye.

I don't want to let autism be an excuse that allows Henry to be held to different standards, but it just feels nice to not have to try to cover it up either.

I should add that this is the first time we've gotten together with these friends in over a year. We really don't socialize very much. So that's why I am so happy about how it went. And it probably went so well precisely because we don't do it very often. If we tried to make Henry hang out at someone else's house until way past his bedtime every Saturday night, it would not go so smoothly.

One aspect of the evening did make me a little uneasy (aside from the fact that I drank too much wine): I talked quite a bit with a woman who has an 18-month-old son. (They didn't bring the boy with them.) She asked me a lot of questions about Tommy's development, and Henry's, and lots of questions about autism. It became clear that she is concerned about her son's development. But all I really sifted out of the discussion was that he doesn't speak in sentences (but does have some speech) and they feel he is inordinately preoccupied with watching Sesame Street.

Have any of you ever been in that situation? Where a parent is asking you for advice about their child? I am more than comfortable telling people about Henry and my own situation, but felt very unsure what to tell this woman. I found myself saying "lots of children his age are preoccupied with Sesame Street, I don't think that's unusual." Lots of people said things like that to me when Henry was small, and that was not at all what I needed to hear. Without even seeing this child, I am hesitant to recommend that she have him evaluated. But I also don't want to put off her concerns, because we all know that the mommy instinct is a good one.

I'd be interested to know what some of you would tell this woman. Her husband works with Bill, so I'll be able to ask him to pass some information along to her if appropriate.