I don't really like the 4th of July. Not 'cause I'm anti-American, or anything like that. It just comes up every year, and we make plans of things to do, and then once it gets here I'm like, "oh yeah, I never like this holiday."
So this year (the blogging has made me more introspective) I'm trying to figure out WHY. Let me give you a little background:
My family never made a big deal out of the 4th. Sometimes we went to see fireworks, but it wasn't a big thing we looked forward to all year or anything. My dad is a Viet Nam vet (air force), which you'd think might make us a big "rah rah 4th of July" kind of family. But dad didn't enjoy the noise and the crowds of those kinds of events. Most of us didn't, to be honest. Mom was often fighting a losing battle to be social (see my previous post, family matters, below).
In contrast, Bill's family was always very social. His mom was part of a bridge group and a tennis group, his dad had a poker group. They had standing dates with other families on the 4th, the day after Christmas, etc.
In general, summer's not really my favorite season. I don't do well with the sun or the heat- makes me really irritable. And 4th parties where people are playing with fireworks make me really afraid that someone's going to get hurt.
So every year we're invited to a former neighbor's house for a cookout and to watch the city fireworks. It's never been my favorite event, but now that we have 2 young kids, one of which is autistic, it has become easy to make excuses not to go. There aren't any kid-specific activities, and it feels like we're hanging around for hours, waiting for it to get dark so we can watch the fireworks.
The city fireworks were yesterday, and the suburbs all have theirs tonight. Yesterday I suggested we not go to the party, for all the reasons stated above. Bill was fine with it, and bought some stuff to cook out at home (one of his favorite ways to relax- drink a beer, listen to music, and cook on the grill). The thing is, today it's raining, so we are going to end up doing nothing special for the 4th. I feel guilty when my anti-social tendencies force my very-social husband to miss out on stuff.
I get weird around most holidays- I want them to be SO SPECIAL for my kids that I end up freaking out, which is not so special for my kids!
Bill and I were kind of half-joking that maybe I experienced some childhood trauma on the 4th of July which has scarred me for life. I don't think that's the case, but I'm just wondering: does anyone else "get weird" around holidays?
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5 comments:
I get all wierd around the holidays myself. I stress big-time to make sure everything is right then I'm totally deflated when I realize that the husband could care less about holidays and the kids would have been just as happy finger-painting.
But just so you know I HATE the 4th of July. Not the holiday itself, but the fireworks. I can't deal with sudden noises. My nerves are raw for a week before and a week after. My husband woke me up this morning by saying "wake up! It's your favorite day of the year!!!"
Sal
I deffinately get weird around the holidays. My mom always made them miserable for everyone, because she hated them and everyone she would have to see. When I left home, I was fine for awhile, especially after I seperated myself from my family, but then things got really tense with my husband's family. I like the holidays that I don't have to spend with extended family. That's why Halloween is my favorite holiday, no one sees the need to visit on that day :o) Yeah for me!
I bet most people feel that way about holidays. There is a lot of pressure to make things "special". Every moment can't be special or planned for that matter. Then there are the lucky few that have a wonderful time with family. I always wanted to celebrate with them and find out what their secret was.
Kristin
You read my mind. This is by far one of the worst 4th of July's on record for me. I had uninvited guests for lunch which was awkward, a relative's daughter spent the day trying to terrorize Littleman, and the parade was so loud the kids all wanted to leave. I am hoping, because its so foggy that maybe they will cancel the fireworks. I sometimes feel antisocial too. Maybe its all the buildup and the out of whack expectations that fall flat and make me want to retreat into my home at holiday time. I am convinced that Littleman really doesn't feel like he is missing out.
I must have been born without the social butterfly microchip.
Hope tomorrow's better for you! Tara
I have fond childhood memories of the 4th lighting sparklers with my brothers and sisters on the beach. I always loved fireworks too. It has only been the last few years that the holidays have gotten a little weird for me. I think because I held such high expectations and then was let down afterward when things didn't go as planned. Last night Brother-roo and I walked down to the fireworks while my husband stayed home with Roo who fell fast asleep the minute we walked out the door. I really enjoyed watching the fireworks with my big five year old and listening to his comments...his "Holy Cow, did you see that one, Mom!". He was cute! But I can relate with wanting to keep things low key and not going to the large group parties and all.
Hope you enjoyed the day home or wherever you ended up!
Add me to the roster of moms with holiday-induced psychosis. I want every holiday to feel *special*, but my husband has zero need to celebrate in any special way. I'm getting better at scaling back expectations, though. Yesterday we grilled out, went for a walk, and had strawberry shortcake. It was a nice day, and in the long run probably a lot more pleasant (and therefore more special) than if we'd tried to do some big holiday THANG.
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