It's been a busy week- at work and at home, and it's been awhile since I posted. But I feel it bubbling out of me as I try to catch up on my blog reading.
I got all choked up reading squaregirl's post today- the part about acceptance: "Acceptance is key to growth." And I read something very similar from Oliver's mom today: "I find that what many (including myself) would see as progress on his part, is directly tied to progress of my own!"
I don't know if I'm articulating this very well, but it all seems tied in to what I realized last week about Henry's teachers. Yes, Henry is doing much better this year. But I don't think so much of that is that Henry has changed and gotten "better." I think he is now with teachers who respond to his abilities and who make him feel accepted. And he is thriving. And as the rest of us in his family understand him better, we are all thriving.
Yesterday Thomas and I picked Henry up at school. (Usually he gets a ride home from the school transportation service.) It is always nice to get to visit with his teachers (and it was nice to hear them tell me how cute Tommy is!) But even better was that Ms. H's supervisor was there. She went on about how well Henry was doing, and about how much they LOVE him. And about how smart he is--Henry's report card came home this week, and says that he can read 25 words!!!! I just have to pinch myself...
Let's see, what else is new?
-Well, gymnastics class for Henry seems to have been a failed experiment. I didn't take him on Friday, Bill did. Class was supposed to run from 5-5:55. But when Thomas and I got home around 5:45, Bill and Henry were arriving home also. So they bailed out of gymnastics early. Bill said that Henry kept saying "I'm too big to do that!" (We think he may have meant "not big enough.") Bill said that it was frustrating because the instructor would have the kids do something that Henry does all the time at home (like lay upside-down across a tube), and Henry would (OK, I know this isn't a PC term, but) freak out. So I'm kind of inclined to just cancel this class. Henry gets lots of physical activity at school (physical therapy and adaptive phys. ed., plus just playing on the playground, which he seems to enjoy more and more) and he does have swimming lessons once a week also.
-From the "mommy's perseverations" files:
I don't watch much tv. When the people at work talk about American Idol, I just hang my head in shame because I've never watched an episode! I'm not against tv at all- it's just that I'm too busy in the evenings to watch, and then I fall asleep in bed with one of the boys, and then I just stagger in to my own bed. Even when I do catch a program, I'm not likely to catch it again the following week, so I lose track of it.
But the past couple of weeks I have watched Lost. And gotten hooked. Last weekend we rented DVDs of the first season, and Bill and I stayed up Saturday night until about 2:30 am watching those old episodes. Are we cool or are we geeks? Never mind, I don't want to know the answer.
We still have many episodes to watch and it's about as close to a "date" as we are going to get, so I guess we will enjoy our evenings together watching Lost after the kids go to sleep.
-This will never turn into a "preachy" blog, but...
We did something cool in church this Sunday: Instead of an official sermon, the rector led us in some "contemplative prayer." He had us all sit quietly with our feet flat on the floor, hands on our thighs, palms-up, eyes closed. The really interesting thing to me was how similar it all was to the meditative time at the end of yoga class. Except this was better to me because we were sitting up in wooden pews, rather than laying on the floor. It was easier for me to keep track of my thoughts and keep them focused on prayer, rather than drifting off to sleep, as I often feared would happen in yoga class.
Even though I was up so late the night before, watching Lost, I felt very alert the whole time and it was so nice to have quiet time to gather my thoughts. And most of my prayer time was spent being thankful. Sometimes I am dumbfounded by how good my life is. (And I'd better knock on wood as I type that!) Do most of us realize how lucky we are? If the "worst" thing in my life is a child with a disability, who is happy and healthy and loving and loved? I need to spend more time giving attention to being thankful.
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7 comments:
You're so right about that: we need to spend more time being thankful. I was recently talking to a friend of mine about some issues I've been having lately and how I'm so much stronger and better prepared to deal with them now than I've ever been before. Having a kid with autism is certainly filled with sad moments but you are right, we are blessed with so many things not the least of which is that those very kids we worry about endlessly are happy and healthy and loved and loved.
Bud had the same reaction as Henry to gymnastics class, and I had the same reaction as you. If he's not having fun, it's just not worth it.
I think you articulated your realization very well. And it makes a LOT of sense to me!
"I think he is now with teachers who respond to his abilities and who make him feel accepted. And he is thriving. And as the rest of us in his family understand him better, we are all thriving."
Aha! Quite amazing isn't it?
It's lovely when we realize that our lives our pretty good.
And speaking of Lost...it's a favorite of mine...all those coincedences get me thinking...speaking of coincidences...my mom's name is gretchen, and I was a Miss H when I taught.
You know, when the husband or I are having a trying time with the kiddos the other one will always whisper: "Don't forget how lucky we are." Or, "Remember: we have the good life." or some other such thing. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of the bigger picture.
You are the second person that I know to recommend Lost so maybe I'll have to rent it, too. Tho' it would have to be pretty good to keep me up to 2am!!
It is true that our lives are blessed and I do forget just how much sometimes.
I love how Henry expresses himself! "I'm too big to do that"...he is so cute!
As Roo's language develops more everyday, I hear him starting to sound more like Henry and Bud and some of our other more verbal friends. He says "me push you" now when he wants me to push him on ths swing. I don't correct him anymore because I am just so happy how he is spontaneously asking me. The whole pronoun thing though, reminds me of how you have written about Henry's speech (although it seems he is even doing better with that lately). I love that I have all these other great kids to watch grow up along with my own.
Thanks for a great post reminding me to be grateful for what I have.
"Do most of us realize how lucky we are?" - No, and it's nice to have it pointed out to me. Your post really got me thinking about how I see so many negatives to my day and maybe I should try to focus more on the positive. Thanks for the wake-up.
The worst thing about our life would be not having our child with his disability!
Thanks for sharing so many different angles of your life with us.
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