for my first child

1st day of school last fall

on the slip n slide with her brothers

Gretchen and Kate, summer 1995?

Dear Kate,

It seems like it's pretty hard for me to tell you how I feel. So I thought I would try this. (I wrote this back in December but never quite knew the right time to post it- your birthday seems as good a time as any.)

You were not the child who showed me what it's like to be pregnant, or to raise a baby. But, before those monstrous boys came along, you taught me how to be a mom. I remember when you first came to live with us, before first grade- I was scared of everything. I didn't know how to pack a lunch, I didn't know how to talk to other moms, I didn't know how to bring a dish for the girl scout picnic. Those things terrified me. I kind of thought that all the other moms had attended some kind of class, or were given a handbook when their kids were born, that told them how to do all that stuff, and I had missed out on it.

But I wasn't scared of you. I loved having you around. I loved brushing your hair at night and then reading you a book. I loved playing with your toys (whether or not you were there- haha). Even though we tease you about it, I think your dad and I even loved that you made us stay in the bathroom and talk to you while you were in the shower! I have so many sweet memories of shopping for Christmas crafts with you and then working on them every year, and of baking cookies together.

I have beautiful, beautiful memories of you and your dad singing together- Disney songs and Eagles songs. And of course I love remembering preparing for our wedding- going to dress fittings and having our nails done.

Those are all memories from when you were a little kid. Here are some things I feel right now--

10 great things about you (in no particular order):

1. You are smart and don't try to hide it
2. You like going to church
3. You help with your brothers without me even asking you to
4. You are passionate about basketball
5. Basketball is something that you and your dad are able to share
6. You have always liked to read
7. You are very open and honest with your dad and me
8. You sing along with me sometimes
9. You have faced, and continue to face, difficult situations with grace and maturity
10. You are true to yourself

We aren't biologically related. And the circumstances of that sometimes cause us some extra stress. But we love each other. And we are family.

Happy sweet 16.

Love, Gret

Kate and Bill at our wedding, May 31, 1997