is there something that you want to say?

We went to the zoo again this weekend. I requested a membership for Christmas, and we've gone 3 times since then (just me and the boys each time so far). I find it a really good activity for the three of us when the weather is decent and I want to do something outside. Tommy would be happy with going to a playground on a nice day, but that is more of a struggle with Henry. I end up feeling like I'm forcing him to climb on the equipment, or run around, when he'd really rather go back home and look at a book.

My sister-in-law gave me a helpful idea: she rents a wagon at the zoo for her daughter (who's 5). I hadn't considered doing that with Henry- he's old enough to walk, I figured. But the zoo's a big place, after all, and why not let him take a load off while we're walking from one end to another? They have these double "buggies" that both boys can ride in, and can easily hop in and out to look at things. I love that also because it forces them to sit so close to each other. And when Henry's looking at the zoo map Tommy can look at it too, etc.

The weather was chilly on Sunday, but sunny. Several animals that are sometimes hard to see (wolves and lions) were laying right out in the open, sleeping in the sun. The petting zoo was Henry's favorite this time. We have a huge saltwater tank exhibit, and Henry loved watching the scuba divers who were feeding the fish and cleaning the tank. (I got some super-cute pictures, but am still using the old non-digital camera. So you'll have to wait awhile to see them.)

We even stopped at the gift shop, which I feared might be a huge mistake. But I was pleasantly surprised that they have many books, stuffed animals, and other toys for under $10 or even $5. Henry picked out three magazines, about sea otters, cheetahs, and elephants. After considering MANY items, Tommy only ended up requesting a sucker.

Something interesting happened at the end of the visit: Henry had lost his zoo map, and I said that I would ask for another at the front gate. I walked ahead of the boys to the gate, and looked over my shoulder just in time to see Henry come running up and push his brother. I turned right around and said "Henry! I saw you push your brother. That is not ok. We are leaving and we're not getting another zoo map." I explained to him that when he does something mean, there is a consequence. And this consequence would be that he couldn't have the zoo map.

He wasn't happy. But the whole thing went better than I would have expected. 90% better than it might have when he was 4 or 5. We continued to walk out to the car. (Can you imagine if I would have had to carry him?! Kicking and screaming?! And what about Tommy?) But Henry walked along with me. When I put him in the car he tried some more of his classic arguments: "That consequence is gone mommy!" "Mommy, I already had a consequence!"

Tommy fell asleep during the ride home. When we pulled in the driveway, Henry quietly said "mommy..."

"Yes?" I said

"Is there something that you want to say?" (This is a little script he picked up in preschool or something- he wants me to repeat it.)

So I posed the question back to him: "Is there something that you want to say?"

Henry turned to Tommy (asleep) and said "I'm sorry Tommy."

This was big. I hadn't mentioned apologizing at all. Henry thought about what happened all the way home in the car and decided he needed to apologize. And I don't believe he did it thinking that then he could get the zoo map or anything like that. He just seemed to know that when you do something mean to someone, you apologize. Wow.