stuff bouncing around my head today

-Henry's ear is infected again. Last month when this ear was infected, it was draining. I saw one doctor in the practice, and maybe I misunderstood him- I thought that the tubes Henry got 3 years ago were still doing their job. Henry didn't seem to be in any discomfort, but just had this gunk coming out of his ear. Now this time he is really miserable, but the ear is not draining. We saw a different doctor, and when I asked why it wasn't draining, he said that last time was a worse infection, which had perforated the eardrum. That this infection wasn't as bad. (So why does Henry seem to feel so much worse?!) I just hate leaving the doctor's office more confused than when I went in!

Henry did not cooperate as well with the doctor this time (surely because he felt like crap). We have to go back again in two weeks to make sure the infection's gone. Am I starting this whole thing again???!!! One ear infection after another until my child needs surgery? Ugh.

-Lots of times Henry is more agreeable for his sister. When she is able to help get him dressed or give him medicine I am so relieved. Yesterday morning (which, no surprise, was frustrating for me) I asked her to start getting up earlier and helping me with Henry in the mornings again (I didn't ask during basketball season.) This morning she did not get up. And Henry specifically asked for her to give him his medicine. I went in her room and yelled at her. Now, I already feel bad when I do that- both frustrated with her and also with myself for "losing my cool." But let me tell you what makes a crappy morning even worse: when you come back downstairs after yelling at your teenager and your sick, pitiful, 6-year-old PDD kid looks at you with wide, sad, eyes and says "please stop arguing."

Oh my God. I wanted to crawl into the cupboard under the sink and just stay there for awhile. Henry has always been so sensitive to the emotions of others. He becomes upset whenever anyone in his vicinity is upset. Do any of your kids seem to be ultra-sensitive to emotions?

My dad, who seems to share some of Henry's traits, says that when he walks into a room he soaks up the emotions like a sponge. Because of that, some situations just prove too much for him and he has to shut down or get out of there. It's clear that Henry shares that ability.

I was actually, once I could think about it clearly, proud of Henry for using those words. I told him that I was just frustrated because Kate wasn't listening to my words, and that sometimes people in families get frustrated with each other, blah blah blah. So he will probably go to school today and say "I want my mommy to stop arguing" and his teachers will all think I'm a psycho.

-Henry's teacher sent home a form that I had not seen before, but that I found helpful- a pre-planning sheet for his IEP. I had to send it back in today but asked to get a copy back and then I will share some of it here.

-Sal posted something from someone else's blog. I frankly didn't read the whole thing because I got upset around the part where it's revealed that the kid's autism is all the mom's fault. So sorry. But there was some discussion of hugging-type therapy, and that I can relate to.

Henry really likes to "roughhouse". Tickling, rolling around on the floor, climbing on his dad or me, etc. And the urgency with which he sometimes solicits it makes me think that this physical contact serves a very basic sensory need for Henry. I wonder if any other kids seem to really need to have an outlet like that? Henry does like to snuggle too. But the roughhousing thing is different. It's like he can't let it go, even once the other person has made it clear that s/he is finished with the roughhousing. Or he'll do something weird, like try to put his foot in your mouth. You push the foot away, but he just keeps doing it, again and again and again until someone gets mad.

I'm very intrigued by the whole thing and wonder what purpose it serves for Henry, or how to better meet that need. I suppose I could meet with a sensory integration specialist or whatever they might be called.