progress

Friday Henry's teacher wrote this in his notebook (it sounds kind of goofy when I try to leave out other kids' names):

"Henry scratched (another child) today, but when I brought it to his attention, he got up, walked over to (him) and said 'I'm sorry (kid's name).' He did this completely independently, which I thought was great. . . I think Henry is making nice improvements socially!!"

I wrote back that we have seen some nice improvements at home also. Friday night Bill was blowing bubbles for the boys, and they were getting a little silly. Henry jumped on Bill, spilling the bubbles. Bill shouted "NO"- which usually would send Henry into a fit of screaming. I know it sounds silly- like he's just spoiled rotten, but Henry really gets upset if you tell him "no". It's like you have to find another way to get your negative answer across. And especially if you say it in an angry voice- forget about it. Anyway, Bill quickly explained why he had yelled. I was just happy that Henry didn't get upset.

Then, several minutes later and without any prompting, Henry went over to Bill and said "I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry that I spilled the bubbles."!!!!!!

I also had a minor victory against the stim this weekend. At the library Henry wanted to borrow 2 copies of the Sleeping Beauty video. He has done this before and I frankly never thought much about it. But I am trying to be more conscious of the stims, and decided I would take a stand this time. (Besides the fact that some other child might want to check out the other copy.) I told him he could only get one of the Sleeping Beauty videos, and that they were both the same. "They are not both the same! The same is gone!" He immediately got the loud and panicked my-house-is-on-fire voice. And my resolve wavered. It was causing him such anxiety... But I stuck to my guns, if only so that the librarians wouldn't think that I am a huge pushover of a mom (or, I should say, so they wouldn't know that I am a huge pushover of a mom.)

But, you know what? He didn't have a meltdown. I didn't have to carry him screaming from the library. He was disappointed, but he went along (grumpily). When we checked out our books, I tried to explain his mood to that librarian by saying "we had a little argument downstairs when he wanted to check out 2 copies of Sleeping Beauty." Well, Henry caught hold of that statement, and when we were walking to the car, he said "we had an argument" in kind of a sad way. So I used that as an opportunity to say "yes, we did. But we still love each other, right?" "Having an argument" is a new concept for Henry, I think. Kind of a grown-up one.

Tonight I was the old pushover mom that he's used to. At the grocery store we bought donuts, ice cream, BBQ chips, and the Disney Princess Christmas DVD!

Tomorrow I am getting the kids' picture taken at the mall- wish me luck... I am kind of thinking that after the picture we can visit the Disney store. Do you think that's a good idea or bad?